UBT: ‘I’m in a Good Place Now’

Universal Bullshit Translator

The cheater is in a good place now. And isn’t that what matters? His happiness?

***

Dear Chump Lady,

So two years ago my husband of 25 years left me for his technician, immediately moved her in, got her pregnant and they are now living their happy life with a 17-month old, while I struggle.

Anyway, we are still not divorced. It’s in process, but very expensive and we disagree on many key points. Mostly the point where he doesn’t want to give me anything, he just wants me to go away.

I had the pleasure (or not) of speaking to him yesterday about our daughter. Anyway, I received a text from him today.

All I see is he’s happy, happy, happy with no regrets.

Honestly it still hurts and I think I need him to be miserable for me to ever feel justification. Like, why can’t his girlfriend cheat on him? Or why can’t the baby belong to a different baby daddy? Why are they so stinking happy???

I’d really like you to use the UBT on this text.

I appreciate u picking up the phone and calling about (daughter) yesterday, but I’m in a very good place right now. My leaving was just a tad bit more complicated than just I wasn’t appreciated. So please don’t trivialize my life decisions. I do not do things on a whim. That is not my nature. I’m sorry u got hurt and sorry kids got hurt. I have talked to them and explained my thoughts. Hope u have a good day.

Thoughts?

Struggling

****

Dear Struggling,

Yes, don’t call him and remind him he has other children. Geez, quit being such a buzzkill. Don’t you know the effervescent, new baby scent has worn off your kids? He has another family now.

Seriously though — who cares if this cheater is in a “good place”? He’s happy because he’s about an inch deep. You may as well try and shame a doorpost. Your feelings do not matter to him. And yes, that’s the REAL him — a person capable of casual abandonment.

Don’t communicate with him.

Except in writing where his answers and non-answers can be documented. And do NOT try to call him up and discuss your or your kids’ pain.

If you insist on plumbing his shallow depths, you’re going to get exactly what you got — mindfuckery.

So stop engaging, and more full-court press to the divorce finish line, okay? There’s nothing you can say that a fat settlement check can’t say better.

Now to the UBT:

I appreciate u picking up the phone and calling about (daughter) yesterday, but I’m in a very good place right now.

Thanks for the kibbles! Your distress reminds me that I’m super awesome powerful! And ignoring whatever it is you want from me gives me shivers of delight. Please don’t try and make me feel bad. I don’t feel much at all because my conscience is a tiny, withered prune pit.

But, since you asked (and I know that I Am The Most Important Person here) — I’m happy! Couldn’t be better!

Are you miserable? Great! More evidence that I’m superior in every way!

It’s complicated.

My leaving was just a tad bit more complicated than just I wasn’t appreciated.

My being a fuckwit is just a tad bit more complicated than just I-walked-out-on-my-family-and-got-an-employee-pregnant.

I wasn’t sufficiently appreciated… as being a total fuckwit.

I’m a cheater in a good place!

So please don’t trivialize my life decisions.

My life is not a triviality. My obligations are a triviality.

I do not do things on a whim.

I’m a cold-hearted, calculating motherfucker.

That is not my nature.

Uh, actually cold-hearted, calculating motherfucker is my nature. If there were an astrological sign for fuckwit, I’d be in the disordered seventh house of the seventh sun.

I’m sorry u got hurt and sorry kids got hurt.

Sorry, not sorry!

Want to see my latest baby pictures?

I have talked to them and explained my thoughts.

I discarded them and explained it with a little chat — “Daddy’s happy now!” We’re good.

Hope u have a good day.

Fuck off and die.

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Natalie Can Have Him
Natalie Can Have Him
8 years ago

Get that fat settlement check, be the sane parent for your kids, and live your life, authentically and on your terms. Then just sit back and enjoy the show, as his happy twisted little life inevitably implodes.

The real beauty of it is that by the time that happens, you won’t much notice or care anymore. You will have been too busy living that life of your choosing, raising amazing kids, and maybe even falling in love with a person who deserves you.

He might be off with whatever is behind Door # 3 by that time, and all you will feel is slight bemusement.

Danna
Danna
8 years ago

Fab UBT. Spot on. And hilarious too! Haha.

nomar
nomar
8 years ago

#happyarsehole

Divorce Minister
Divorce Minister
8 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Class A.

ChumpB
ChumpB
8 years ago

Perfect UBT, as always you get it!

JackiesDone
JackiesDone
8 years ago

There is NOTHING that man can or will do that will ever leave you feeling anything but twisted. The UBT is dead on. Funny, without the UBT I would have not seen the me me in that message.

No contact is a must. Your core is shattered, you gotta stop the bleeding so you can heal with more peace.

Deedee
Deedee
8 years ago
Reply to  JackiesDone

Agree totally.You need to close this guy down to protect yourself from more pain.
I notice he uses the passive voice ..sorry you got hurt….not I am sorry I hurt you.He has no intention of taking ownership of what he did and his words read like those of a typical sociopath, blameshifting and justifying his behaviour.
Communicate only by email about the kids and in the most clinical,detached manner possible.
He sounds like a complete arsehole and though you don’t believe it now,one day you’ll be grateful he moved on to his next victim.
Struggling , there is nothing this man is ever going to say or do to make you feel better.When I internalised that reality I began to feel better.Close that fucker down.

FinallyAwake
FinallyAwake
8 years ago
Reply to  Deedee

Yup. I got “I understand you’re hurt right now”. No acknowledgement of personal responsibility. None. It will never happen. OWhore isn’t getting a prize.

HopiumAddict
HopiumAddict
8 years ago
Reply to  FinallyAwake

I got the “i hope you will understand one day” line from his affair partner. Ya, I’ll get over it and we will all be friends again. My reaction is the issue not their actions. fuck off…

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  Deedee

Spot on Deedee – “I notice he uses the passive voice ..sorry you got hurt….not I am sorry I hurt you.” – No accountability for his actions.

I got the same passive voice from my ex-wife – “I can see the pain in your eyes, I can hear it in your voice, I see it in your face – but you must be strong.”

blindsidedinboston
blindsidedinboston
8 years ago

My stbx said in one of our MC sessions “I know I disappointed her”. That was his pathetic attempt to “take ownership” of what he had done. He couldn’t even talk directly to me – he said this to our counselor about me. I was sitting right there. Disappointed? You How about blindsided, devastated, humiliated, hurt, disrespected and disgusted?

Anne
Anne
8 years ago

Oh My. I was disappointed when I got a bad haircut. I was disappointed when a work project didn’t turn out the way I wanted. Disappointed doesn’t quite fit the bill of total betrayal.

Roaring
Roaring
8 years ago

SureChumped, you’re right about the passive voice.

For the last several months, when STBX would email he used an avatar that was the picture of his face in our bathroom.

I saw the entire photo on D-day – the bottom half of that picture is his naked beer gut and tiny erect penis – he uses the photo for his Craigslist ads.

Finally I wrote and said, “please change that picture.” He wrote back, “sorry you were offended but I like the way my hair looks.”

Yeah – me being offended was the problem.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

Roaring–given your post on the Predator post, I’d say encourage the jackass to KEEP using that avatar–it depicts exactly who he is, and there is no way you’ll ever forget that he sucks.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

Gosh Roaring – what a tool he is. It’s like the 2 pictures (top & bottom half) is metaphoric of his multiple personalities.

“Naked beer gut and tiny erect penis” – great riddance for you!!

kaycan
kaycan
8 years ago

Uugh… reading that just made me enraged on your behalf. “You must be strong” to cope with this pain that mysteriously descended upon you. What a self-righteous bitch.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  kaycan

“You must be strong.” That bullshit is bad enough when it comes from well-meaning people; for it to come from a cheater who just blew up your marriage and life is guillotine-worthy.

hurt1
hurt1
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

I got, “I should have left you 5 years ago. That way you’d be farther along in accepting this.” WTF? As if my devastation would have been any different then.

sterling
sterling
8 years ago
Reply to  hurt1

I got a fair bit of him telling me he should have left when he started cheating (YA THINK?!) and then that if he wasn’t happy now he would leave.

Why did I want to suffer the concept of reconciling with someone who wasn’t over the moon for making it up to me and WANTING TO STAY?

I do think if he had left back when we had no kids or just one kid it would have been just as devastating at the time but not as hard to recover from vs being older, more kids, more obligations.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  kaycan

“mysteriously descended upon you” – love that!

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago
Reply to  Deedee

You’re right! What a crappy apology. I never looked at it that way.

fbi
fbi
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

Hi Struggling, I don’t often write on this board but I felt compelled to reach out after reading your story. How horrendous!!! How could he have discarded you so easily after being married a quarter of a century and for a virtual stranger in comparison!!???! It’s so normal for you to still be reeling from the utter shock of such betrayal. But there is a silverlinig to your situation althought I know that at the moment things look dim! Deedee is right he did you a favor in disguise,who wants this type of flaming self important douche around? Give his idyllic fake new life with the younger mother time to self combust…he’s no spring chicken she might have gotten involved with him merely because it is convenient to be the boss’s concubine and having access to financial ressources she most likely lacked. He is being stingy because deep down in his conciousness he knows he is only a means to an end for this woman. It’s not because he is so good looking and charming. In the meantime learn to live a fabulous life without Mr. Sparkles, he was not that great to begin with.

JeanM
JeanM
8 years ago
Reply to  fbi

FBI you are so on point. This is so true in my situation, I do trust they suck.
My was 27 years, but I am in a much better place in my mind, heart and soul!

Einstein
Einstein
8 years ago
Reply to  fbi

True. Really happy people don’t have to advertise. How happy they are. It was a calculated dig, because that’s who they are. Get a huge settlement and see how long the lovefest lasts.

Moose
Moose
8 years ago
Reply to  Einstein

THIS! If you’re truly happy, it shows. No need to spout off on every Facebook post, for all your social media fans to see. Oops! Did I say too much? 😉

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  Moose

Word, @Moose !!!! Right-o!!! The Evil One LOVES Facebook, etc. to boast of his tru wuv and Mrs. Dumb-Ass “likes” everything and chimes right in…pathetic!!!

I’m proud to say that it has been over three months since I last peeped on either of their Facebook pages. It’s nothing but a show anyway. I just don’t get why he STILL hasn’t come right out and told me that they are married, or why he has to hide his wedding ring when he’s around me…ah, the ways of the disordered are such a mystery!!!!

KK
KK
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

Struggling,

I struggle at times too. I will echo what others are saying about no contact. I know it’s much more difficult when you have children, so really the best you can do is low contact. Just make an effort to make it as low as possible. Come up with a plan of when you will initiate or accept calls, texts, emails, whatever. I use text and email. If necessary, I can always print out the texts if it were legally necessary. The only thing you should discuss with him is when / where / how visitation will take place. Once you get a custody order in place, even that will no longer be necessary. You can choose to stick with the agreement and if he wants to change it up, simply refuse. As far as what you are legally obligated to inform him re. the kids’ doctor’s appointments and such, send a certified letter, return receipt requested. Make copies and attach the signature receipt for your records. This will protect you if he ever makes a legal claim you failed to inform him of anything important. As far as sports or after school activities, leave him in the dark. If the kids invite him, fine. If he asks for a schedule, give it to him. Otherwise, there is no need to communicate with him. If you do, it will undo your healing. Sending you hugs and warm wishes!!

Deedee
Deedee
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

Struggling surround yourself with people who love and support you,get out and about as much as possible,look after yourself physically,do things you enjoy and keep that fucker at as much distance as you can and eventually the pain will fade.Eliminate the possibility of his offloading his bullshit on to you by not engaging,except in the most robotic fashion and only about your kids.
The arsehole will see he’s dealing with a changed woman and hopefully STFU.
Hugs from Ireland ?

ChumpedAussie
ChumpedAussie
8 years ago

Struggling, two years is very early on in their “special” relationship. Guaranteed he’s full of shit! I still see my ex as we are selling the home we shared and although he puts on a happy front, after being with him for 26 years I know it’s a front. They’re as shallow as a puddle of dog piss. Would they admit they’ve fucked up? Never! Most would rather eat rusty nails. The more they rub it into your face, the more it just smacks of their own insecurity and the need to prove to us they are happy because the disordered fucks are never happy and never will be no matter who they are with.

movin_on
movin_on
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpedAussie

ding, ding, ding – right on the money, Aussie. I actually do talk to mine (I know, I know) and the more he lets little details of his new life slip in, the more I see that his new GF is living my old life. All of it – the sarcasm, the drinking, the annoyance with his constant aches and pains. And the cheating. He’s simply re-living the same life he keeps starting over and over with someone new. 50 yo serial cheaters do not change.

Struggling – mine also used to tell me how happy he is in his new life. When I fully internalized what a fraud he still was, he stopped. It’s like the universe intervened once I “got it.” Repeat it to yourself – he’s a fraud. The same old fraud you married 25+ years ago. Your kids see it too – mine certainly does without a word from me. It’s a shame they have to know this about their parent, but it’s a good lesson in navigating Cluster Bs.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  movin_on

Another ‘thing’!!!! They actually are all alike movin_on!

the sarcasm, the drinking, the annoyance with his constant aches and pains. And the cheating. He’s simply re-living the same life he keeps starting over and over with someone new. 50 yo serial cheaters do not change.

..and bitching…satan bitched about everything…every little thing!

UGH! Run Struggling! You just dodged a bullet and exterminated a pest! Someday (hopefully soon) you will be so grateful!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
8 years ago
Reply to  Jeep

Yep, same here— constantly in pain/aching, never being “happy”…he’s 37, and his OWife is 26, he thinks he’s a “big poppa”….more like big poooopa!!!!

Piece of shit…I prefer to think of his health issues now as his guilty conscience eating away his body. I look back at myself at 26 and I would NEVER be with an unhealthy 37-year-old…GAH!!!

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  movin_on

ChumpieAussie mate—you got that right sister (or dude?). “The more they rub it into your face, the more it just smacks of their own insecurity and the need to prove to us they are happy because the disordered fucks are never happy and never will be no matter who they are with.” I can picture X with his nose in the air, arms crossed over his chest, perpetual frown on his face, lower lip jutted out saying Yea it’s good that I’m with someone younger than my daughter and with a 2 yr old. As I turn 65. As I miss yet another milestone of my grandchildren. Yea, it’s all worth it.

ChumpedAussie
ChumpedAussie
8 years ago

I’m a chumped sister like many of us here. My ex turns 60 this year and his dick suddenly turned 30 (with the help of Viagra) cos he’s with someone 25 years younger than him! The fact she’s a gold digger has somehow not registered in that peanut sized brain of his. He said to me he’d drive me into the ground but he’s the one with the shovel digging and banging nails into his own coffin. Too bad, how sad, tell me how he’s going in ten years time, they want to destroy us chumps because they know we are stronger and smarter than they are. They end up digging their own grave. I’m going to buy him a new shovel to give to him, the other ones worn out.

JeanM
JeanM
8 years ago
Reply to  ChumpedAussie

Struggling, stay strong. I am shy of one 19 months xh out of home, and 14 months divorced.
Yep xh was screwing, a howorker, 30 years younger! Yes 30 years younger!!! My oldest 25 yep. And son 23. My kids was supremely grossed out, and yes we are grandparents…but check this out, owhore, who left for 5 months, came back and yesss there is a baby due in two months! Guess they gonna get to know each other real well.
yes, 27 years and poof gone in under 4 months, affair time I heard so much bullshit, she can have it. No need to worry they are so marvelous and happy, liars, cheats, dumbasses, lazy fucks.
So now daddy, grandpa is starting a new family at 53! Yes the grandfather fucker is having a baby in two fine months! Awesome life for “the happy couple,” plus 1. Mmm

So borh predator and criminal will be parents. Fantasy, smack into reality. Like someone reminded me on this site, after owhore is done changing baby diaper, she will be changing cheater too.
no facebook fanfare for either of these two. I do not use fb myself, however both emy kids do, any ole grandpa and baby mamma, literally have gone underground with this. Wow arent most people excited about first born. Happiness, sure!
Simply amazing. Karma train pulled in!
This assclown said ” i know I hurt you really badly.” I dont respond, but “you can talk to me.” Really, cause he actually said oh im depressed i just want to come home.” I had to remind him that he told me and kids go fuck yourselves. I can only say Enjoy your new family and happy life to the new couple who are desperate,dismissive, depraved, disgusting, delusional, deprived, depressed, dumb, degenerate, douchbags. That felt marvelous.
I appreciate you all!

Digbert
Digbert
8 years ago

“I’m a cold hearted, calculating motherfucker”

This, and repeat, all new chumps please take note………I am 4 years out and this has only finally sunk in….

Peony5
Peony5
8 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

I feel a little smug. Took me Only 3 years 9 months. ?

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  Digbert

It’s ok. At least you learned it.

alice
alice
8 years ago

No more phone calls. Email only. If he isn’t answering emails about kids, switch to something court recognized like family wizard so you can document his non-responses and limit communication. How old are your children? If they are late teens or older, and aren’t disabled, they have to deal with their father on their own. No being the intermediary. This is very important — they need to understand who he is and they have to hold him accountable if he lets them down.

If you have joint decision making, a simple I am taking X to the doctor email suffices. Or J wants to change from Y school to Z school. Make him initiate any discussion if he disagrees. Don’t ask permission or his opinion.

If you are in the US, is your attorney a litigator. It is time to stop negotiations and say “see you in court” if your attorney (again must be a litigator) thinks you can prevail. If your attorney is not a litigator, it is likely time for a consultation with one.

The text sounds like you may have engaged a bit more than just about your daughter. (Did you mention that you were sorry he didn’t feel appreciated or something along those lines?) Gently, you are giving him tremendous power here. Lots of kibbles. Don’t do that. He isn’t going to give you what you want.

Communication only about kids (and see above, only when it really, really needs to come from you) and finances, if necessary. Switch to only email. And get this divorce finished. At some point, see you in court is the logical response to an unacceptable settlement offer. Make sure your attorney is good enough as a litigator and get a court date.

Hugs.

Karma Express
Karma Express
8 years ago
Reply to  alice

So in the U.S., not all lawyers are litigators? I think here in Canada, anyone called to the bar is also a litigator. Then again, with so few people spread over such a huge landmass, we have to be polyvalent. You have to be able to drive a Zamboni AND a snowplough. 🙂

Virago
Virago
8 years ago
Reply to  alice

Brilliantly stated, Alice!

JackiesDone
JackiesDone
8 years ago
Reply to  alice

“Don’t do that. He isn’t going to give you what you want.”

If you really think about it, what is it that we want? Even the gods transcended down on him to allow him to see the errors of his way and he did a 180 and said all the right stuff…. it still would not be good enough. There is absolutely nothing bad or good that comes from their mouths that has any merit or validity at all.

If they are mean, if they are kind… at the end of the day… what happened cannot be unhappened. Our only choice it to let go, heal and get to the other side of this. It happened, it is unfair, it sucks BUT it happened and we have no choice to listen to all the advise of CL and CN and experiences of others to slowly but surely get to the other side of this. I am nearly 2 years out and I know I got at least that much more to go. I know me, this will take 3-5 years to really get there. It has me pretty f’d up with two people in me. One hurt and a hot mess and the other strong as a storm ready to tear it up.

Anne
Anne
8 years ago
Reply to  JackiesDone

This is brilliant. All I want right now is that he remain in his little “happy place” until the divorce is finalized, the house is in my name, and all the paperwork is done. He’s being cooperative with everything so far and he can remain there until I’m finally at meh. Then if he has a change of heart or realizes what a complete fool he has been (not holding my breath) I will be completely done and wont care. I’m playing nice until everything is how I want it, then he can listen to the crickets.

I truly feel for all of those that have underage kids that keeps you in necessary contact. I think having to deal with that along with everything else is absolutely horrible. Mine connected with a woman who has two young kids and one is autistic (so I’ve heard, but don’t know). He is my no means patient. At first I was laughing at the possibility of him getting her pregnant. It would be perfect for her because then he would have to support the child until 21 regardless of what happened. But I’m actually hoping that doesn’t happen. I would feel bad for any child that had the two of them as parents.

Rachel's Done
Rachel's Done
8 years ago
Reply to  JackiesDone

Yes, JackiesDone, I call the 2 people the worrier vs the warrior. The Warrior kicked ass, got us moved and divorced in 4 months and the Worrier kept us trying to make it work for 20+ years

Hope49
Hope49
8 years ago
Reply to  Rachel's Done

+1

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
8 years ago

Dear Struggling,

I hope you can be meaner for a bit. If you can’t, hire a lawyer who can. If your lawyer has been okay with the slow process, you may need a new one. If your lawyer has been telling you to make decisions or play hardball and you’ve been reluctant, start taking the advice you are paying for.

You say the divorce is dragging on because he doesn’t want to give you anything. Screw that. “Giving” has no place in this discussion. You OWN at least half of what the marital property includes, and if he ‘s resisting that division, he’s trying to STEAL (more) from you. Ignore every protest he makes or explanation of what’s “fair” that he puts forth. If he understood FAIR, he would not have cheated on you.

Get mad. Get mean. Get righteous and INSIST on what is yours and what you’d like to have besides that. You might not get it all, but he TOOK your marriage and your security and your family structure. Feel free to DEMAND a few things in return along with what is already yours.

Recovering from this horrible experience will take a long time, but if you are still struggling with the formal division of property and divorce, you cannot even start to get the space and mental freedom that you need to move forward.

Borrow the voices, pragmatism, and the strength of the people on this list. Pretend to be them when you feel yourself shrinking up or doubting yourself. Eventually, you’ll grow into your own new voice and new life, but lean on CN for now. You can do it.

CRHCHK
CRHCHK
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

Rock on with your bad self, Eilonwy! Good advice.
Love and healing to Struggling and all of CN ❤️

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

Like

MsChump
MsChump
8 years ago

Oh I was so there and it took two years for his happy soul mate once in a lifetime to blow up. Even if you don’t get to see it, it will. Fuck him and focus on you – you deserve so much more than this. Keep telling yourself that every hour xxx

Mine dragged on for a year. I did exactly what was written a few posts up….’see you in court’. It worked because he knew he’d have to pay more that way. Find his weak spots about money and push there. You deserve so much more than this. Keep telling yourself that.

It took me a long time to get mean and go no contact. They thrive on your pain, but try and focus on your road now, try imagining your happy future….its there I promise. Cut him off, it’s really really hard but only then will you start to heal. Get angry, cry, howl – just don’t call him or into your one precious life. You’ve got this xx

AtomicFireball9
AtomicFireball9
8 years ago

See also Tracy’s brilliant posts on “Cool.Bummer.Wow.” and charm, rage and self-pity. I had to read them everyday for a long time for it those concepts to sink in. Now I have the UBT in my head and the responses to go with whatever ex is saying.

Go get that divorce finalized.I promise that you’ll wake up to meh sooner than you think.

arlo
arlo
8 years ago

CL/UBT and CN are hitting on all cylinders today. Great stuff!!

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago

What are these “places” these cheaters go to, anyway? He’s in a good place. Huh? When my ex-husband was treating me cruelly before the separation/divorce and I couldn’t understand it, he explained to me that he was “in a dark place right now.” Of course that turned out to be code for Schmoopie’s vagina. Why not just tell me I was being re-placed? Oh yeah, I forgot… CAKE!!

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago

Interesting observation. My ex visited all of those places (dark place, good place, uncertain place). It must be yet another cheater play book standard. I guess they all got distracted (squirrel!) on the way to honest place, remorseful place, and basic-fucking-decency place.

BetrayedNoMore
BetrayedNoMore
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

Interesting observation. My ex visited all of those places (dark place, good place, uncertain place). It must be yet another cheater play book standard. I guess they all got distracted (squirrel!) on the way to honest place, remorseful place, and basic-fucking-decency place.

The cheater hangouts “(dark place, good place, uncertain place)” are all just derivatives of Fantasyland. “Honest place, remorseful place, and basic-fucking-decency place” are the boring parts of the park they race through to get to Fantasyland so they can use-up their E-Ride tickets/coupons.

patticake
patticake
8 years ago
Reply to  BetrayedNoMore

I have to chime in tonight. Mine wanted to go to his “Happy Place” wherever the heck that is.

liveandlearn
liveandlearn
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

That’s it in a squirrel’s nutshell, for sure.

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

LOL Free Vixen 🙂

sephage
sephage
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

HA!!! free Vixen, you rock for that comment.

Rachel's Done
Rachel's Done
8 years ago
Reply to  sephage

+1000

Sekhmet3
Sekhmet3
8 years ago

My partner told me about all the “places” he visits as well. The dark place, the non-committal place, etc. … I guess he’s really into sightseeing? I’m fine here though, #kthxbye

Rachel's Done
Rachel's Done
8 years ago
Reply to  Sekhmet3

My x would say he had a lot going on in his head, a lot he was dealing with. Now I know what that means. Fucktard

HopiumAddict
HopiumAddict
8 years ago
Reply to  Rachel's Done

Mine was vexed by the darkness or bleakness that would occur when he would turn down the street to come home, you know like in a movie or book when something horrible was going to happen… I suppose the weather has cleared since he has moved back into that home spends time with her there… Divorce will fix that… fire sale on properties anyone??? No more bad mojo after that!!!

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago
Reply to  Rachel's Done

My ex said the same shit. I envision nothing going on in their heads but a big truffle-sniffing pig rooting around for kibbles.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

And they go to those places to “Think about what they want” or to “Make necessary changes” or to “Find themselves.”

Kbchump
Kbchump
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Haha yes, my ex wife needed to “Learn and Grow”…fucking good one ..

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Yup, you can call the post – Big Bird visits the black hole

JackiesDone
JackiesDone
8 years ago

LOL

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago

Hahahahahahaha

Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
Get Out Yo Seat and Chump Around
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

GREAT idea. A cheater’s atlas. Asstlas?

DoneNow
DoneNow
8 years ago

Please include the land of “Starting Over.” Starting over from what? Only the cheater knows. But you get your record completely cleaned when you get there. From what? Oh yah, nothing. It’s just somewhere we need to go for no reason at all.

Freebird
Freebird
8 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

Don’t forget the lands of “moving on” and “no longer living in the past.”. That’s the two resorts mine claims to be visiting.

Aowlee
Aowlee
8 years ago
Reply to  Freebird

How about the “I’m not going to let what I did define me?” resort? That’s where my POS is.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago

GOYSCA – Cheater’s Atlas is a brilliant name, I can see a great cartoon for that one!!!

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

GOYSCA – BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Uniquelyme
Uniquelyme
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

No shuttle will be big enough for their heads.

Jeep
Jeep
8 years ago
Reply to  Uniquelyme

Uniquelyme that is hilarious!!! No shuttle will be big enough for their heads!!! Oh that is so funny!

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  Uniquelyme

the bigger their heads are- the bigger the targets are

Strad
Strad
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

Including a stop at The Land of Entitlement

DoneNow
DoneNow
8 years ago
Reply to  Strad

One-way only.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

I wish it was one-way only; with no telecommunications.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

Shit, why not just blow up the planet all together

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Thumbs up Ian :)!

KB22
KB22
8 years ago

Reading the text actually made me sick. This is the type of guy you just want to punch in the face, so smug, condescending and indifferent. His life will eventually blow up but for now you have to get on with your life and I think you need to set your kids straight that their father is a defect and they should go no contact as well. Doubt he’ll even notice, so should be easy. Get a pit bull lawyer and get divorced already.

yo
yo
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

Yeah. And the dismissive Have A Nice Day at the end. I can imagine his smirk. Id like to smack that smirk off his face.

yo
yo
8 years ago
Reply to  yo

I hope she takes him to the cleaners. Take everything! Even stuff you dont want but he does, so you can throw it out afterwards. Thats therapeutic you know.

Sekhmet3
Sekhmet3
8 years ago

Short and accurate UBT. A+

liveandlearn
liveandlearn
8 years ago

As with all cheaters, zero emotional intelligence. A black void where a soul should be.
Trust that they suck. Trust it implicitly. For the rest of your life. Trust that one thing.

JackiesDone
JackiesDone
8 years ago
Reply to  liveandlearn

Wow, my ex cheater actually said those very words to me ” I have a black void where my soul should be” when he asked me to leave.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  JackiesDone

I hope, once you recovered from the shock, that you ran out the door.

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  liveandlearn

Like

Portia
Portia
8 years ago

Please remember that your Cheater is great at pretending to be . . . whatever. Someone who is too impatient to wait for a divorce to move in with his AP, and to be willing to have a new baby with the AP before he is divorced and they are married — well, I would say that instant gratification is his main priority. He may end up switching channels to a new AP and abandoning this one before you are actually divorced (in fact, that may have something to do with his dragging his feet, “Sorry babe, I can’t marry you while I am still married to her”, “Sorry babe, you can’t have ownership in anything while she is still part owner, legally.” Great excuses. Please don’t think I am feeling sorry for AP — I am sure she will get exactly what she deserves to get for being such a fuckwit herself, and soon. Just because he is pretending to be happy doesn’t mean he actually is. If he is truly as disordered as he sounds, he will never be happy because the grass will always be greener in another place for him.

Nothing is as predictive for future actions as past actions and attitudes. AP’s who do not pay attention to how an ex is being treated, and talked to, and about are missing the point., If he did it to you with her, he will do it to her with someone else, and someone else, and someone else. Serial cheaters and liars and thieves are career criminals.

Meantime, stop worrying about his state of happiness and concentrate on your state of being. Use this time to find out who you really are and what you need and evaluate what you are looking for in ANY future relationship with friends, family, and possible romantic partners. Work on feeling good about your life, setting goals for where you want to be, and working out a plan to get there. Please heed the advice already given by others about moving the legal process along. The sooner you are free of this POS, the better.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

It’s worth noting that many of us thought that the Cheaterpants we lived with was happy with us. So putting up a false front comes naturally to them.

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago
Reply to  Portia

Thank you!

Gail
Gail
8 years ago

Cut your loses take what you get and

To start a new life and this bad memory… he’s someone else’s headache! He will do the same thing to her as soon as he gets bored!

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  Gail

But he’ll be in good place 2.0

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

Lol, Happily!

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

What a complete non-human assbag. Thank god he explained his “thoughts” to his children. May a tractor trailer full of manure overturn on his car on the freeway.

liveandlearn
liveandlearn
8 years ago

My cheater took the opportunity to blameshift our children’s “change in attitude towards him” to me badmouthing him. Im his mind, his actions would not have brought this on all by themselves. Of course.
He also wrote that “he had made some mistakes in his life, but none like this” pertaining to his cheating. And that “only time will tell”.
UBT that one, please!

zyx321
zyx321
8 years ago
Reply to  liveandlearn

Yup, daughter’s depression, anxiety, and suicide attempt? My giving her inappropriate information, not due to his actions! No way!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  zyx321

The blameshifting about the children is particularly egregious in your case, zyx321. Evil. There’s just no other word for it.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  liveandlearn

Damn, liveandlearn, we were married to identical twins. Youngest daughter won’t talk to him? My fault–I alienated her from him. He’s now telling friends he just made that little mistake fucking grad-whore, but he came back to the marriage afterwards, didn’t he? And I just couldn’t forgive. So sad that he’s now living the life of Reilly while Tempest, well, she’s the sad, lonely dog lady because she can’t get over the fabulousness that is Hannibal. #epicfail

Anne
Anne
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Identical triplets. Who uses “pod people” on this post?

Within weeks of him moving out he blasted me with hateful text messages because he was pissed that I enforced my boundaries (thanks to CL). He then calls my son’s fiance a “bitch” for telling me he crossed the boundary. When my son told him that he will not talk that way about his fiance, his response was to text me that I was turning his sons against him. He continued the text blasting with no reply from me until he said that I was “vindictive” and again accused me of turning them against him. I responded, “No need for me to say a word, your behavior is doing enough.” That shut him up for a very long time and now he’s put on the mask of cooperation. I know it’s a mask, but I’m using it until everything is final. He’s such an idiot.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Standard psychopath behavior. My friend was married to the biggest loser, cheater, unemployed, self-involved dickhead that has ever lived. He “went to visit family” TWO years ago at thanksgiving and just never came back! Has seen his kids (by his own decsion) about ten times. Guess what? SHE’S keeping them from him. They don’t want to talk to him because SHE’S bad-mouthing him. And what is mind boggling is he actually believes that crap. The dude deserves a visit from Terminex.

Kar marie
Kar marie
8 years ago

I dont wish asswipe dead or sick not anymore anyway but i got the sorry you got hurt speil. I do wish him the worst life has to offer and that his dick rots completely off. Great ubt!

ChumpedAussie
ChumpedAussie
8 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

A friend asked me the other day if the dickhead was dead yet. I don’t have to wish the bastard dead, my friends and family are doing that for me. I made him coffee to which he commented it tastes funny, did I poison it. Nope I said, your not worth it and I don’t want you dead, I’d rather you live a long miserable life. Dead eyed stare from the fuckwit!

KarenE
KarenE
8 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

Kar, my ex used the ‘I’m sorry you got hurt’ line on our daughter, after both kids started figuring out who he was. She was FURIOUS!!!! I wish I had had as good a built in UBT as she seems to have!

At least when he told me ‘I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us’, I recognized it for the bullshit it was!

f8thfull
f8thfull
8 years ago

where do we find “cool.bummer.wow” ?

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago

I’m sorry you’re gong through this, most of us have been there. My ex and wifetress are living their super sparkly life and love nothing more than to rub my nose in it. Often. OW is reveling in the fact that she “won” and he encourages the kids to think of her as they’re “real mom” as call me their “birth Mom”. I get your understandable, seething rage on many levels. I think the hardest part on the road to “meh” is trying to wrap your mind around the fact that the man that vowed before God to love and protect you forever, the man who kissed babies with you in the delivery room has “turned” into a cruel stranger that not only abandoned you and your children in an instant without so much batting an eyelash, while delighting in moving you in the process. It’s like watching a horror movie that you can’t ever turn off. If I hear the words “Get over it” from one more person, I might go postal. The truck is to realize the person you married was a hologram. He never really existed other than what you tonight he was in your mind. You know why? Because you’re a good person. You see the positive in people and love with all your heart. So my advice to you is to realize that you’re never going to “break through” to reach the person you shared a bed with for all of those years. NEVER. EVER. Want to get even? Like, really, really even? Act like you could give a flying fuck. All communications from here on out should be robotic. Yes. No. Okay. That’s all he gets of you. See, he’s going to keep the smug cool guy thing up forever. He’s gone. There’s no epiphany. There’s no apology. There’s no soul. He’s NEVER going to care and actually enjoys watching you in pain. This is fun for him when you call. After all, he’s a celebrity in his own mind and your the groupie. This is your punishment for not worshipping him. Fuck that. As Ivana Trump once said, “Don’t get mad…get everything!”. Hugs from Florida.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

Chump Struggle–my mouth is permanently agape at your story. You ended up with OWhorezilla. I no longer care what happens to my X as I am channeling all my karma-bus-wishes your way, and hoping it rolls over that wretched woman, backs up and hits her again.

As for ” If I hear the words “Get over it” from one more person, I might go postal.” Yes. yes.

Kelly
Kelly
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Me too, I cannot believe these people. Even among disordered freaks they are disordered freaks. I wish you lots of strength and some measure of peace while you go through this (along with a kick-ass victory in the end), Chump Struggle.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Kelly

Thanks Kelly, I appreciate that.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

OWhorezilla…bahaha..awesome sauce!

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

Your case is really eating at me. If you don’t have a psychologist who will testify as to the horror of OWhorezilla calling you the “Birth Mother” and herself their real mother, email me and I’ll give you a letter to that effect: tempest.ariel2014@gmail.com

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Thank you ladies. I’ve had then in therapy but their terrified of their father, so nobody has been able to get them to talk about what’s going on.

Susannah
Susannah
8 years ago

Please keep us posted on what happens, I am sending you hugs and prayers.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Susannah

Will do, thanks for the great advice!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago

Chump Struggle,

This woman is ill. The only way she can feel secure in her relationship with your husband is to have him prove, by abusing you, that he is loyal to her. Ask me how I know. No mature woman who is secure in her relationship is going to spend this much time harassing you herself or conspiring with your ex-husband to harass you. This has nothing to do with the kids and is all about punishing you. She’s a sick fuck. The only thing that works with people like her, because she feeds on the attention probably even more than your Ex, is to ignore them so hard that they begin to doubt their own existence. It’s like cutting off their oxygen supply. I’ve dealt up and close and personal with two fools like this – once as a child/young adult and just recently. This woman with your Ex is two french fries shy of being a bunny boiler.

Tempest, I know why this is eating at you – you are clear about what crazy looks like and you know this is crazy. I’m horrified that there is actually someone crazier than my father’s second wife and the Ex’s OWife.

Chump Struggle, Tempest should have my contact information if there is anything I can do to help you.

FMT
FMT
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Chump Struggle, your story left me with my chin on the floor. Like, WOW. I hope you got some much-needed support today, and I hope you’ll write to CL so she can share your story properly and you can get the full force of CN backing you. I had a smug poaching OW, too, who was in love with her social media image (and just in love with herself in general), but this goes so far beyond anything I could imagine. As others have commented, it is abusive behaviour and disordered with a capital D. All I can think of is that movie, The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.

Huge hugs to you, and hang in there. Come on the forums for extra support!

notsurewhat2do
notsurewhat2do
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Chump Struggle, I believe that in all states that stepmothers are legal strangers to children in all cases. I would hope your attorney can use this argument if possible. Also, go after attorney fees. Hopefully, the Judge will see this for what it is.

I am so,so sorry that you are dealing with this. Hugs.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Chump Princess, thank you for your kind words. This is the first time I’ve shared some of my story and it feels good to talk to people that have actually experienced this type of abuse “get” what’s going on. I usually avoid taking about this to people because frankly, its embarrassing and they couldn’t understand what I’m going through because they’ve never experienced such horrible atrocities. It’s such a relief to receive good advice and support from other survivors.

DoingMe
DoingMe
8 years ago

Please take your children to a therapist ASAP. Hire an investigator to check into her past. A nutcase like this has to have a skeletons in her closet.
Have your children call her by her first name and explain to them they have ONE mom.

KB22
KB22
8 years ago
Reply to  DoingMe

Yes, this is more than likely not her first psycho rodeo-people do not become psychotic overnight-she must have quite a history.

DoneNow
DoneNow
8 years ago

Their “Birth Mom”?????Are you fucking kidding me? I hope you explained to your children how evil that is. Birth Mom means you gave birth and then weren’t part of their lives after that. It means you gave them to someone else to be a part of a different family. Not there to care for them and love them and read the stories and make the meals and wipe their noses. No offense to anyone who had to give a child up. Birth Mom could be a title of respect in a different situation. But trying to minimize your role like that is, like I already said, evil. There’s no other word for it.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  DoneNow

Yep. My kids told me that’s what she’s telling them. I could actually win an award for the most smug mistress on earth. She’s constantly trying to one-up me and never seems to tire of it. She can’t have children and basically wanted to “steal my life”. She know he was married and pressured him with bloodied fingernails. (I am aware that the blame less solely with him, mind you). But she’s just such an arrogant annoying little bitch. What’s worse is that the kids love her; she does crafts 24/7 and I have to work now, I can’t compete with that. (I was a SAHM for 10 years, but now she gets to be a SAHM with her adopted thanks to her homewrecking talents). She is the queen if Pickmeland. My kids are 8 & 10 and are innocent kids that love everybody. She even had the nerve to write #thanksjulie on Instagram under her wedding picture as a jab to me. (They got married on our anniversary, just to spite me). My life has turned into a lifetime movie network special. Wish I was kidding.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
8 years ago

Oh my God, got married on your wedding anniversary?!?!?! Holy fuck dude!!! That is beyond fucked up. #kissmyassbitch!!!!

The Evil One and Mrs. Dumb-Ass got married close to our anniversary- same month at least. I still don’t know which day exactly, but the fat fucker didn’t bother to send me an invite or wedding announcement, damn, I had the perfect gift picked out for them too!!! #NOT

The level of her bitchiness astounds me, and I am seething for you!!! This woman needs her fucking ass whipped for sure!!! Body builder or not, Karma train can’t run her over soon enough!!! I know it truly sucks being sucked into their narcissitic-vortex-of-fucked-upness, but stay mighty!!!!

Our daughter is non-verbal/Autistic to a certain extent, so I don’t hear all the babble about Mrs. Dumb-Ass/step-Mommy, thank God.

My sons with EXH#1 had to deal with their step-mom making comments and jabs at my expense for years, and I had to do the hard swallow and seethe about it later, but to them I would just shrug and say, “Oh well, haters gonna hate!” or something like that to them or we would just laugh at her trying to “make Momma mad” and talk about how a 50-year-old woman (as she was then) had to act like a 12-year-old…wisdom of kids, huh?

((((hugs))))

Hope49
Hope49
8 years ago

Chump Struggle, Oh my… YOU definitely as a chump have a tough row to hoe with THAT ho/wifestress. Holy crap! She is the queen conniving BITCH of all time! My best advice as a criminal defense lawyer is BE CAREFUL. She is not below doing anything to get what she wants. She is what I call a fellow woman hater and despises other women who are happy so she plots and spins her web accordingly. She reminds me of a former co-worker who was the master manipulator in our office and would and could step on anyone who got in her way. Take care.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Hope49

Thanks Hope49, you are right. We’re back in court because they’re trying to get full custody because I’m just such an awful mother and the children need to live with her because, well golly, she is just a better mom than me and the kids need her. It’s draining to say the least.

Einstein
Einstein
8 years ago

There’s nothing more deplorable than the corts allowing themselves to be a tool for abuse. These cases should have merit to proceed. Since they don’t, please discuss with your attorney the possibility of them paying your legal fees.

Cindy
Cindy
8 years ago

Ugh…this is so hideous. Hope49 makes a valid point about the type of woman that would do this kind of thing. My XH and wife tress filed Injunctions Against Harrassments and Restraining Orders against me. All full of fantasy and lies. My XH was such a gentle guy until the affair started. I know this stuff came from the whore – my XH was also not creative and very lazy. My attorney told me that “This crazy bitch is trying to destroy you personally.” My attorney told me to move, change my number – essentially hide. Some whores are predators.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Cindy

Omg that sucks, Cindy! Hugs!! This is why courts need to give us Chumps more power to keep our dignity and protect our children from these lunatics.

Virago
Virago
8 years ago

The Chump struggle is real, on reading this my back went so rigid that I stood up. That is appalling conduct. I wish there was a way for the entirety of CN to collaboratively express horror and dismay for the treatment you have endured.

On the other hand, IMO, the karma bus has struck your fuckwit. Look who he gets to live with ~~ for now. This is justice. She does not do this just to you. She is character disordered. And that goes everywhere with her.

Re the kids . . . they are smart. They will sort it out. She can’t hide her essence from them or fool them forever.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Virago

Thank you Virago. I know the karma train is coming, but gah…jus taking so long to arrive! They’ve just filed a motion for full custody now claiming I’m unfit. (With petty claims and zero evidence. It’s just a fun way to financially abuse me some more..wheee!). I just want them to leave me the alone, but they just seem hell bent on fucking with me forever. I’m starting to lose hope that the karma train is ever going to pull into the station. It’s pretty depressing.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago

Chump Struggle–I’m sure the petition won’t fly, but what support of your parenting skills can you bring to the legal battle? Do you have a therapist? do the children? Time to start roping in professionals now, and documenting EVERY case of “I’m your real mom” nonsense from OWife. Save every piece of evidence with those disgusting hashtags; judges won’t look kindly on that kind of manipulation.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Tempest, he’s got nothing. My kids are both involved in sports, I coach my daughter’s team, they’re both in the gifted program. He’s got NOTHING. The whole order claims my kids are wearing deplorable clothing (I work in engineering, and I have all the receipts to prove they dress to the nines), that I bock communication and visitation ( again, I have all the phone records and email exchanges pricing otherwise) but mostly, the order is about how I block the ow from communicating with my children and that I talk bad about her. ( which I don’t, but I have told them what she is, the short pg version, and the reason being is that I want them to know that leaving your family like this is morally wrong. They were telling my kids all kinds of garbage and I was forced to set the story straight). So basically, the order is all about her.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago

Bet my next paycheck it’s all about not paying support.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Exactly my thoughts as well. They don’t REALLY want the kids, they just don’t like paying me anymore. Getting on the way of her new SAHM status and bodybuiling hobby.

KB22
KB22
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Yup, it could be about not paying support or a pathetic scare tactic so she’ll lower child support or waive it altogether.

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago

The OW are truly a piece of work. I know I have known her for 10 years. The first I met her I told another wife in the office to look out for that vulture. She wanted my life & got it! Complete with vacations to the same places & repeating cute little sticky notes love letters. Nothing original & she is fine with it. He is her meal ticket & she isn’t going anywhere!

But seriously, the same wedding anniversary? That takes the cake!

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

I hear ya, these women just baffle the hell out of me. Were they raised by wolves? No wait…that’s insulting to wolves. Wolves could have actually done a better job. I’ve learned that these woman WANT you to see how they’ve won. But guess what? They’ll never “be us”, you know why? Because we’d never knowingly be so horrible as to pull some shit like this. They need to eat makeup so they can be pretty on the inside. Put on your haterblockers and keep your head up, Struggle. They only feel gratified by diminishing you and glorifying her. But you can’t turn a crow into a swan. And you sure as fuck can’t keep a good woman down!

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago

Remember, Chump Struggle, that your kids are really young. No one will ever be able to replace you in their lives. And all of this #i’mkeepinghimforever stuff will look pretty foolish when one or both of them cheats again. Start the clock running, because it will happen. Chances are what they are hoping for is the kids will press to live with them and they can avoid child support. #nothappening

The other good thing will be when the kids get a bit older and their lives with their peers are more important to them. Dad and StepSchmoopie will be roadblocks in their need to hang out with their friends. And it is a good thing for you to be working because work helps keep us chumps sane. In most cases :).

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

#nothappening, I think I just peed my pants!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago

Chump Struggle,

I can commiserate with you. The OWhore cum OWife in my case has a similar personality and has done similar, although not quite as outrageous stuff as this. I utterly and thoroughly sympathize with you. It is exceedingly awful. Let me just say, however, my father’s second wife (although not an OW – my mother was a cheater) was of this caliber as well. She was insecure and disordered and tried to interject herself as my “mother” because I was around 13 and had issues with my mother at the time.

What I can tell you is these women cannot help being themselves and as your children get older and develop more wisdom and are not as pliable, they will begin to see her true colors as she will begin showing more and more of them. She may, depending on circumstances, begin to compete with them for their father’s attention (if they are still together by then) and her resentment may begin to manifest itself in all kinds of horrible ways.

My mother played it very cool and never engaged the deluded piece of crap who my father married and who kept trying to get pregnant in order to have her child replace me in my father’s attention and affection. My mother pretended like her existence was some footnote in our lives and ignored her completely. My father was a good but weak man and was no match for the viper with which he had cast his lot. And she was never able to conceive a child. As I matured and my relationship with my own mother matured and became better and I could no longer be manipulated by the wife, her resentment began to be a visible and concrete thing. Eventually, there came a point where she did something so unforgiveable that I completely cut off contact with her and told my father that she and I could never occupy the same space again. She never laid eyes on three of my four children and I never saw her again in life or death, as I refused to even attend her funeral.

It is extremely difficult and painful (I am so sorry what I put my mother through) but try to navigate this as best you can. Your children will eventually begin to recognize, as long as you teach them good values, that there is something wrong with her and the way she speaks of you and interacts with them regarding you and your place in their lives. Time, patience and endurance is on your side. It is the shittiest of the shit sandwiches – a veritable buffet piled high with shit sandwiches – but be the sane and consistent parent. It will pay off in the end. ((BIG, BIG HUGS)) to you.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Off the crazy train, I’m just hoping that some justice comes her way at some point. She’s been karma bulletproof thus far. I try to just focus on being happy, but now they’ve dragged me back into their circus again. I don’t think they’re ever going to leave me alone.

Off the crazy train
Off the crazy train
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

It’s right enough what you say, Chump Princess. Time is on Chump Struggle’s side. With behaviour like she is demonstrating (same wedding date, ‘real mom’, hash tags and all), she is a ticking timebomb.

The children will eventually see through her. That much is clear. In all likelihood, the cheater ex will probably tire of her batty tendencies, too. She clearly is not happy in herself.

The jealous actions that she reveals are probably only the tip of the slightly-mental iceberg. Imagine what’s going on inside her head. To do the things she has done indicates that her mind is probably a cesspool of bitterness, hate, jealousy, with a touch of obsession, all writhing about, like a big vat of slugs. Yak.

As I said before, tick tick tick tick BOOOOOOOM!

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Thank you, I needed this today. This whole situation has me worn down. I feel like they always win when it comes to fooling my children. I’ll just have to stay patient.

uneffingbelievable
uneffingbelievable
8 years ago

Chumpstruggle – I’ve never heard of anything so outrageous. She is emotionally abusing your children with the Birth Mother stuff. I am so sorry that you have to have any sort of contact with that soulless skank. It’s mind-blowing that the man you thought you’d married thinks that this bitch is a quality person. He obviously has met his disgusting match. You should hashtag her back #no-thankYOUwhore.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago

Bahaha! This woman is also the hashtag queen. #he’sminenow #I’mkeepinghimforever #powercouple. They’re both bodybuilders, so they always part their swimsuit couple photos constantly. #losers

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago

Chumpstruggle – I am so sorry you and your kids have to deal with this crazy wifetress!

Jumper
Jumper
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

+1

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago

How about #obsessedwithmyex #adulterers #emotionallyabusive #wannabes–for starters?

I think it’s worth talking to a first-rate child therapist about how to handle this abusive behavior? And a call to your attorney? You may be able to limit visitation or get supervised only if they are alienating, as it appears they are. Document, document, document. The therapist may have good ideas about how to deprive them of their attention kibbles. So sorry you have these #losers to deal with.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

I have tons of documentation so I plan on nailing him. The problem is, my son (the younger scapegoat) told me this information. My daughter ( the golden child) tried to respond to what my son says by trying to convince me she didn’t say that. I have zero physical proof other than her hashtag post. The problem is that the courts just don’t care. They don’t understand Spaths or Narcs and if you mention those labels, it only makes you sound like the crazy one. It’s frustrating.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  LovedaJackass

Agreeing with LAJ–her trying to claim she is their “real mother” and you are not is emotional abuse. Idiots like that don’t understand logic, only consequences. Involve a lawyer and shut that nonsense down.

AllOutofKibble
AllOutofKibble
8 years ago

Marrie don your anniversary? That is soooooo weird. Could your asshole not remember a new date. (betting he never remembered your anniversary anyway)
That birth mom shit is pure evil!!!!!!!
I’m so sorry this is part of your life.
When Roaring is done with the baseball bat I’d like to take what’s left and run over it with my car…..many times.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  AllOutofKibble

Knowingly married on our anniversary, proud of it, put up timeclocks on all of they’re social media for the big countdown. You can’t mature this type of shit up if you tried. The really annoying thing is that she’s so damn smug and constantly trying too provoke me. We should bring back tar and feathering people in public. And I mean it this time.

Let go
Let go
8 years ago

Chump,struggle, I am thinking steroids. Their behavior has that aggression written all over it. I agree this sounds like parental alienation. Talk to your atty about options.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Let go

You are correct, they’re both on steroids. I’m asking that the courts have them both drug tested, as well.

Anne
Anne
8 years ago

I am horrified that you are having to go through this. This is one of the worse things that can happen.

So she wants your life huh? Maybe you should put up your own countdown clock to how much time is left in their marriage before he cheats on her? (don’t really do this)

She’s a class A Bitch.

KB22
KB22
8 years ago

This subject has been discussed here many times, but the psycho is feeding off one upping you. First your husband and now the kids. She thrives off chaos and has set her sights on you as her enemy. Try as best you can to disengage from the triangle she is trying to maintain. I am curious, how did mutual friends and his family take the same wedding day to the OW?

Lania
Lania
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

Chump, during that court session, get some proof and nail that bitch’s balls to the wall with a psych evaluation. Or at least, proof shes an unfit person to be around your children and that your fuckwit ex is condoning that shit.

Just reading that story makes me want to drag the whore around by her hair and slam her face into a brick wall. Repeatedly.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

I do ignore them both. Drives them crazy. They all about crossing boundaries to keep me engaged. That’s why we’re back in court I believe. I’m the glue that holds them together; they’re “Team Sparkly” and I’m their favorite target.

Kar marie
Kar marie
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

I agree ignore the bitch, refuse to engage with her. See my kids are grown and know me quite well so if i ran ran into her and say look kids thats the pond scum dad is currently using as a cum receptacle they would laugh right in front of her. Yours are much younger than mine so i expect grace to be used. She wants you to engage you ignor her it will drive her mad if she knows she cant get under your skin. Marry on your aninversary. Tell anyone that day ment nothing to your ex then why would it now!

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

Only my Narc XMil, Narc XStepfil, her parents, her adopted child and my poor confused children. She made my son the ring bearer and my daughter was her flower girl/maid of honor. Everyone else has disowned him.

liveandlearn
liveandlearn
8 years ago

Talk about affairing down to a bottom feeder.
Hey, she can have the cheating, lying thief since she thinks he’s the man for her. Be grateful she took him off your hands. Clearly she is as disordered as he is. She can have your leftovers – if she has any grey matter, she’ll figure out why you did not finish.
Get your kids in therapy and continue being the sane parent.
Keep fighting the Good Fight!

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago

Gah..sorry for the typos from autocorrect…I’m a grammar freak.

KB22
KB22
8 years ago

Whoa, she is psychotic and your ex is an idiot. Same wedding anniversary, trying to take your place as the kids mom, is just bat shit crazy. This would be hilarious to see play out if your children were not involved.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  KB22

They enjoy tormenting me, it’s their favorite hobby, next to bodybuilding, of course.

kb22
kb22
8 years ago

Bodybuilding! Typical somatic narc hobby. Not saying ALL bodybuilders are narcs but most narcs will become gym rats. They will eventually turn on one another, just a matter of time.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Tracy Schorn

I have never come across such a horrible person as she. Truly. She delights in trying to prove to me that she’s superior in every possible way and NEVER gets tired of it. It’s been almost 3 years and she and him are just exhausting. They live 2 states away and are always diminishing and degrading my every move me via phone contact with the children and saying how “Mommy is no fun, it’s so boring living with Mommy. But you’d much rather live here with your new Mom, right? She’s the one that really loves you, see how she’s always doing things with you? She’d be a much better Mom to you guys. Mom doesn’t really love you”. I wish I was fucking joking. And the OW gets such a high from his praise. She’s convinced herself I’m so jealous of her and prances around in skimpy clothes and is always smiling at me with this evil look. Barf.

CL, I’ve been thinking about writing my situation to you for quite some time. The reason being, is that I haven’t found any advice that can match my super fucked up situation as far as a super malicious OW/EH combo and relate. I guess I’m just lucky that way. Ugh…

Kar marie
Kar marie
8 years ago

That pod woman and your pod ex both need a bully beat down. What a fucking bitch! I will help with the beating.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

Hehe, they both belong in prison. Agreed.

notsurewhat2do
notsurewhat2do
8 years ago

I would speak to your attorney about parental eavesdropping. There was just a case in New York, that protects a parent’s right to listen in and for that information to be used. I am way over simplifying here and it wasn’t in the federal courts so it may not have apply, but worth asking. They way their are talking to your children is likely alientation and a Judge would not approve.

How often do they see your kids?

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/0ad56b89ebee4903a4bc53adb3bf7012/new-yorks-top-court-parents-can-legally-eavesdrop-kids

Finally Awake
Finally Awake
8 years ago
Reply to  notsurewhat2do

I agree. You should really talk to an attorney about this. At the very least get some proof and use it to get them a psych evaluation and hopefully get their contact down to supervised only. She’s a bitch and she needs to be slapped down as one.

Roaring
Roaring
8 years ago

Whoa, Chumpstruggle.

I know your ASSHOLE is an asshole but WHO IS THIS BITCH?

Is she in middle school?

This is one of those times when I’d like to walk up to her swinging a lead filled baseball bat humming, “somebody’s gonna get it” under my breath…

Protect your children – they’re sick as fuck.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Roaring

Bahaha, Roaring! You’re an awesome wingman!

FinallyAwake
FinallyAwake
8 years ago

The whole situation/whore is beyond disgusting. Mine seems to want my life too, she’ll be a bit surprised that while she can have him, she isn’t getting to be me.

You have my wholehearted sympathy. It won’t make you feel better but think about things this way – her focus isn’t on her new husband, the man he is and who he is, it’s on you. Her obsession is with you. She got married on your wedding anniversary. She’s sucking up to your kids. She wants to be you, but she can’t because you are all kinds of original awesomeness and she is nothing but a derivative stalker with no personality of her own.

I’m sorry that your kids are still a little young and buying into this shit. Just be the sane one, be yourself and remember, her shit will get real old with time. She can’t go around being you forever.

Kar marie
Kar marie
8 years ago
Reply to  FinallyAwake

Boy that one is a real whore for the ages. Asswipes whore is like that too. Just wipe out my existance doesnt even want me to be mom anymore. Well she can have the sperm donor my kids never! Feel for you and it really really sucks your ex and his whore are putting your kids through that madness. Fucking bitch pos the both of them. My kids are grown but they see right through their dad and his whore. They deal with him rarely nowadays and whore juice will never be step mom or mom. Just their fathers gf or wife. My children are smarter and more moral than both of them. Yours will see through the bs too. Big huge hugs to you and i send bad juju to your ex and his whore.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  Kar marie

I’m waiting for the day when they figure it out. Some days it feels like they’ll fool them forever.

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago
Reply to  FinallyAwake

Thanks Finallyawake!

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
8 years ago

finally awake. you are spot on about the obsession being with her. the big giant heads girlfriend didn’t want him as much as she wanted my life..my house..my car..my role in our business and the recognition that went with it. his ego was big enough to promise her all this. neither of them realize I was carrying HIM. when i took my house and my car and the business went to shit. when she saw HE was all she was getting…she left.

newdaydawning
newdaydawning
8 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

chump struggle..that woman is beyond a bitch!!!

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago
Reply to  FinallyAwake

Great reply! She can never be their mom!

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago

Love it!

Keep on Thriving
Keep on Thriving
8 years ago

Is it really super sparkly unicorn land if they drag you into it?

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago

As an aside, anyone who uses “u” in place of “you” is worth divorcing for that reason alone.

“u are not the boss of me, grammar!”

(It makes me cringe just to write that.)

Chumpion
Chumpion
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

I think that she had been married to Prince, that explains the “u”. In this case, the response would be FU.

happily never after
happily never after
8 years ago
Reply to  Free Vixen

Guilty. So THAT explains y after 35 yrs of marriage he slams that book shut like this family never existed! Who’d a thunk it!!!!!! If only I had used full sentences and correct grammar. IDK!!!! 🙂

Free Vixen
Free Vixen
8 years ago

Nooooooooo!! 😉

The Chump struggle is real
The Chump struggle is real
8 years ago

Wow…typo city…sorry about the many errors…damn you autocorrect!

Lost2015
Lost2015
8 years ago

“I’m sorry u got hurt and sorry kids got hurt.”

Thanks to reading this site on a daily basis, reading the CL book, and researching infidelity in general, I can now pick these phrases out from cheaters like a pro. He’s “sorry” you were hurt and the kids were hurt. Nowhere is he sorry or apologetic for his actions. There is no acceptance of responsibility anywhere in that text, and I suspect he’s never expressed that to you at any other time. Classic blameshifting.

Struggling, take that single line in a text as your cue that you are dealing with somebody who is simply incapable of recognizing how shitty their actions were. There will never be remorse. And even if his life did take a turn for the worst, it will always be somebody else’s fault and never a result of his own actions. Heck he might even find a way to blame you somehow.

That’s how he justifies his choices, that’s how he maintains his own self image, and ultimately that’s how he lives with himself everyday. And sadly, that will never change.

Chumpion
Chumpion
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

Classic. You make an apology, re-arrange the words and you get to say sorry without being at all contrite. It is semantics magic that turns gold to lead! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-apology_apology

KarenE
KarenE
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

OMG, Lost! You are describing my ex to a T! At one point he even took some responsibility for not treating the kids well, leading to their not wanting to see him. But now it’s my ‘years of alienating the kids from him’ that’s responsible. I bet he’s just as miserable as ever, but even now, years later and him w/new woman #2, it’s probably still my fault he’s not happy.

StrawberryJellyfish
StrawberryJellyfish
8 years ago
Reply to  Lost2015

That is exactly what jumped out at me as well.

SureChumpedAlot
SureChumpedAlot
8 years ago

It’s going to hurt Struggling but if you are seeking justice as you mention, a good place to start is to find a pit bull attorney that can provide you a speedy divorce.

It doesn’t matter what your STBXH deems as fair in splitting the assets – what matters is what the law imposes.

My advice to you is the same as a Steve Miller song – “go on take the money and run.”

Struggling
Struggling
8 years ago

I hope I am posting right. Thank you so much chump lady & all who have posted.

My children are 23 & 20. You are all right…..why am I talking to him?????

As for the divorce, we have an agreement in place. I’m better off financially if it’s signed & we stay out of court. We are doing mediation.

I will also be better off without him!

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

I am just going to say a few more words on this whole Cheater mediation gambit. After this final D-Day and prior to filing for divorce, the first thing out of the Ex’s mouth was we should do mediation. Even though I could barely function or see straight, the “that’s some bullshit” part of my brain activated of its own accord when he mentioned mediation and what came out of my mouth was, “you have lost your motherfucking mind. I wasn’t born yesterday and I wasn’t born at night. There is no fucking way I’m doing mediation with you. You’re a fucking cheat and a liar and no one in their right mind does mediation with a cheat and a liar. In order to do mediation you have to be dealing with someone who is trustworthy and whom you can take at their word. That in no way describes your ass.” The only time I was lucid during that initial phase and when my self-preservation, you’re on some bullshit mode kicked in was when he would mention mediation. There was a part of me that knew it was just a way for him to fuck me over even more. We never mediated and the divorce dragged out for over two years – because of him.

Yeah – no on that mediation with disordered cheaters crap. The best way to protect yourself is to get an excellent divorce attorney.

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

This is gold: “You have lost your motherfucking mind. I wasn’t born yesterday and I wasn’t born at night. There is no fucking way I’m doing mediation with you. You’re a fucking cheat and a liar and no one in their right mind does mediation with a cheat and a liar. In order to do mediation you have to be dealing with someone who is trustworthy and whom you can take at their word. That in no way describes your ass.”

The lesson is: Don’t be “nice” to a cheat and a liar. Be kind to yourself.

Off the crazy train
Off the crazy train
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Princess, I was of the same mind as you, but I’ve relented and given in to mediation. I’m shit-scared I’ve done the wrong thing now, reading all of this.

Even though we’re mediating, I still have my own lawyer, and we’re still encouraged to relay discussions to, and seek advice from our own lawyers. Is that different to how mediation is experienced in the US?

Chump Princess
Chump Princess
8 years ago

OTCT,

You can always have an attorney advising you. The problem with attempting mediation with these people is that you hash out something, come to an agreement, but if it is in your favor they change their mind or they change the terms. I don’t know of anyone who had attempted to mediate with a cheater (although I’m sure there are people who are successful; I just don’t know of any) who eventually didn’t have to go the attorney/court route. For the most part, when you’re dealing with these people, agreements and truth are situational and subject to change on a whim. The only thing I suggest is that while you’re in the mediation process always keep in mind that the person with whom you’re negotiating is a proven liar.

In all the time I’ve known him, my EX has rarely maintained an agreement or kept a promise and told the complete truth, particularly when it became inconvenient for him. If you look up the word “deceptive” in the dictionary, there’s probably of picture of him next to it. He is also the poster boy for “situational truth” (read: damn liar).

I actually hope everything works out well for you and in your favor. Good luck.

kaycan
kaycan
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

I actually had a successful mediation experience. BUT: I acted fast. Ex never expected his good little chump of 16 years to kick him out (D-Day#2) or fuck him over in the settlement. While he was still in twu wuv fantasy land, I acted. In our marriage, I was the one who handled all the “adulting” so he had no idea about anything. I also earned most of the income. That made it very easy for me to cherry-pick what I wanted, and since I knew I would be doing all the heavy lifting of parenting our kids, I didn’t feel bad about it. I got what I knew I needed if I ended up a single parent 24/7. He was so focused on Schmoopie and image management with his family that he just agreed to everything.

Cherry on top? He was trying so hard to show Schmoopie that he was ending the marriage that had made him so miserable for so long that he actually paid the $400 filing fee himself. I would have paid half, but he never even asked. Idiot.

Lyn
Lyn
8 years ago
Reply to  Chump Princess

Chump Princess, good for you for seeing through his BS and not going for mediation. My ex dropped the bomb on me after work one evening, then emailed the next morning to say that he was coming home to explain “how this can all work.” There I was reeling because my life just exploded, but he’s already planned and plotted how to control every step I should take to make things easy on him. I told him there was no way I wanted to see him or talk to him and to stay away from me. I got my own lawyer, which was the best thing I ever did. She was a young lawyer working for an older pit bull divorce lawyer, so she charged less. Thank goodness she fought during the times I was too grief-stricken or confused to know which end was up.

GladIt'sOver
GladIt'sOver
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

My guess is he wants mediation not only because it’s “cheaper,” but also to drag things out as long as possible. The longer this divorce drags on, the longer his excuse for not actually marrying the OW. If he REALLY was so happy with her and the baby, and he REALLY wanted them to be a shiny, happy family together, your divorce would have been final long ago and he’d be remarried.

He doesn’t want to marry her, and he’s glad that you are acting as his excuse. Get an attorney, bang through the settlement, go NC on his cheating ass, and watch what happens.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

Struggling – Your husband is in a great place right now because you are being really really nice to him! He is woofing down CAKE every time you are abiding by the mediation rules. Mediation is a negotiation between two people who are honestly looking for a fair compromise…

Does that sound like what your husband is? He does not know the meaning of fair and can’t be honest… He is not mediation material! You have a lot of power here, especially given your long term marriage and the fact that your kids are grown.

Giving him two more years of centrality in your life is enough. It is time to go nuclear on that asswipe, there are few judges that will look kindly on a person who has a kid with a significantly younger woman while still married to someone else.

Take back your power!

My X was delaying the process as much as possible while living with his mistress, it became clear that he was going to milk this for as long as he could.

I agree to one last negotiation session to finalize all matters, and indicated that after that session I would go to court with all the evidence, and I would depose both of them to have their behavior on public record.

During the last session, he lost it, swore and screamed at me in front of multiple witnesses. They had to walk him to a different conference room. He folded after that, and the divorce was finalized a few weeks later.

Mediation is designed for people how can collaborate and play fair. You husband has demonstrated that he has neither qualities. Give him a deadline for the mediation process, and at the same time, if it is possible within the mediation contract you can, go get a court lawyer.

Then if the last mediation session fails, then file by your assigned deadline, along with ask for lawyer fees as part of your divorce settlement, and depose both of them.

Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Chumptitude

Thank you Chumptitude, HesatTheCurb, Valerie and all the others who commented recently on my posts. I don’t always respond, but your support comforts me immeasurably. Today sucks so hard, and I live for your kind words.

I will jettison the “my” as suggested.

I am glad to be a joker when I can. Tragedy+time=comedy. (What does comedy in the midst of tragedy factor-out to?)

Chumptitude, your post re: mediation is a masterpiece. Whenever I get cold feet about dragging Match Stick into the divorce-fray, your words give me courage. I am so grateful for your presence here.

Chumptitude, I’m sorry your X was such a colossal coward. It was his loss.

Chumptitude
Chumptitude
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito

Ian – Thank you for your kind and comforting words, I am so sorry you’re having to go through so much shit to untangle yourself from Match Girl, she is a massive POS!

(((Ian)))

I agree that Tragedy+Time=Comedy, CL’s new book is the embodiment of that! I’ve been reading it this week and have both cried and laughed at the unfairness of chumpdom and at CL’s unique way to deliver humorous and effective 2x4s to help us all remain sane despite the continued presence of the disordered in our lives.

None of us deserved to be chumped, but I am so very grateful for CN and for your presence here Ian. Your wit, humor and resilience are immensely helpful. Knowing that you, CN and I are all in this together makes the burden of forging on to Meh easier to bear.

Tempest
Tempest
8 years ago
Reply to  Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
Ian Dubito
8 years ago
Reply to  Struggling

He’s probably hiding assets. Mediation is a trap.