Strange Bedfellows

Today’s not-so-fun Friday challenge is to share the unseen ways in which your cheater rubbed their affair in your face. The secret frissons of duper’s delight your cheater got wearing the heart necklace the Other Man gave her, or how his “art” hung on wall. Perhaps you did the affair partner’s taxes or gave free legal advice “as a friend”? Maybe you had them over for dinner and smiled unknowingly as she enjoyed your best casserole?

Part of the chump experience is defilement (IN OUR BED? Really, OUR BED?!) and being used. What did you NOT know you were sharing? (Other than your partner.)

While this assignment is depressing as hell, it should serve as a reminder of why you don’t want cheaters back. And it might also serve as an antidote to anyone who buys Esther Perel’s bullshit of how “erotic” and healing the infidelity experience is.

And for those of you who believed your cheater was especially cruel, perverse, and lacking any sense of the sacred, this post will show you that, no, they’re pretty much unoriginal in this way, too.

TGIF!

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newdaydawning
newdaydawning
6 years ago

Ow was our best friends wife, x took her on family vacations with us. Without her husband because she was a sahm who needed a break. I thought it was considerate at the time. They carried on their affair at my house while I was at work. In my bed surrounded by all our family pictures. Must have been a huge turn on.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Mine too, newdaydawning. Except she was a single mum. Old school friend of mine who was struggling with (planned) single parenthood. Gosh. Adulting is HARD!!! Never been in a relationship at nearly 50 that lasted longer than 6 months (except during their 15 month affair!) She came on holiday with us regularly. To our parties and celebrations. He says there was no added excitement holidaying with ‘both’ his women. Yeah. Whatevs. He didn’t seem to think there was any extra revolted baggage with them sleeping in our holiday home bed. “We never did it in OUR bed!” Kibble for you then. Good boy! Fucker. They did it everywhere else in my life. Children’s beds. Couches. Car fondling. Ewwww! Probably the kitchen bench! Also big on fucking on my property while I was at work.

Why can’t I just let it go? Definitely something wrong with me. For sure. Catching diseases off them in my own house. Priceless.

livefortoday2
livefortoday2
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Wow. Just wow.

Hk
Hk
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

I think I would have killed them both!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

When Mr. Sparkles left, I insisted he take our bed. I don’t think he ever had the cajones to bring anyone home (I have very observant retired neighbors)… but I knew I sure as hell didn’t want to sleep in it again after he left.

He’s already cycled through the OW and has a new GF. I doubt he washed the sheets.

And, he actually has a door in his bedroom that leads out to the backyard… I think that is what sold him on his rental πŸ™‚

NotaMeanGirl
NotaMeanGirl
6 years ago

I refer to that kind of contamination as “wasband oobleck” (Dr. Seuss was a cheater, after all), and over the 4 years and 4 months since my divorce, I have slowly divested myself of all possessions that have that slime on them: to charities, friends, and the junkpile. Good riddance!

Dee
Dee
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

I hear you NewDay. OW was a family friend. I served her more meals in my home than I can count. We went camping together. I cared for her children…. But the worst was finding a photo, shortly after D Day, of OW posing beside our Harley. While I worked and ran kids around, they had apparently both taken the day off for motorcycle “rides”. She even borrowed my helmet and gloves, and she was still wearing her own wedding ring in the photo. Sharing that photo with OW’s now ex-husband was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. The double betrayal we have both survived was horrendous. Sometimes various other fucked up memories surface for me and I think, “No normally functioning adult could ever do that to a friend.” Sociopathy in its full splendor.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Dee

Ditto, Dee. Was a ‘friend’ of mine for 35 years by D-day. The double betrayal, and me realising I had been her catering and hospitality bitch while she fucked the man I thought was the love of my life. It will affect me forever. I’m better than I was in the beginning. But it really sucked the wind out of my sails. Trust won’t ever be a factor in my life again. I fight every day to find a mindfully positive thing. To keep going forward. We have three lovely young adults together. He is truly appalled at his actions. But you never undo what was done. His shit totally affected my life. Even though I ended our relationship. I know he was sick. But he still always knew what he was doing was wrong. We actually get on really well, only because he is totally remorseful and would drop anything to help me if I asked (I don’t! I have always been more than capable) unlike many here at CN. But it doesn’t change how it has affected me or that I needed to leave a cheater to (try to – still working on it every day) gain a life.

Ugh. A bit melancholy at present. Just over a month out from Masters thesis submission date, and drowning a little! Then I have to go back to the real world and turn my 0.5 job into a meaningful full time one, or buy/start a business, sell the farm, find somewhere else to live. More hard shit awaits. And I feel like I have been doing the hard shit for too many years already!

Right. Pity party over. Socks up. Big girl pants on. Tally ho!

Dee
Dee
6 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

Master’s Thesis? That’s awesome Horsesrcumin! It is all-consuming work so hang in there. Remember: you are the author of your own story from here on. You control the narrative. Be that mighty role model for your grown children. I guarantee part 2 of your life story will be much more inspiring than your ex’s.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Dee

Oh I know, Dee. Thank you. But eight years of knowing and being mindful hasn’t healed my broken heart. I wish he was your standard run of the mill arsehole. That is awful. But easy. Not worth a moment of your time. This guy is really pissed at himself. Totally gutted and sorry for what he did. He gets it. And is exceptionally kind.

Now.

But he broke my heart, made me sick, and irrevocably damaged a truly beautiful love story. We all lose. Dumb fuck. I still don’t get how you don’t see how permanently damaging affairs are before you embark on one. Rocket science, right there, right?

Golfgrrl
Golfgrrl
6 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

Hey horsesrcumin,

My cheating H is similarly gutted. I’ll tell you what, I think that’s the cruelest bit out there. I believe it, but I also believe that through his remorse he gets kindles from me. Let’s face it, if he wasn’t remorseful, there would be absolutely no contact.

But his remorse keeps him central. And I’m realizing (much like you) remorse is not enough. And he did it on purpose. And he knew it was wrong and he rubbed it in my face and so did the skank.

The kindest remorse he could give me would be to go away.

Take care. ?

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Golfgrrl

I hear ya, Golfgrrl ?

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

Oh shit! Re-read that and the context is wrong!!!! I didn’t mean the people of CN are not capable! Oh lordy no!!! Quite the opposite!

I meant we are not NC and we do get on well. Gulp. Super faux pas!!! D’oh!

newme
newme
6 years ago
Reply to  Dee

Dee, My X and his Ho worker worked together and both had Harleys and guess what! They used to take days off without my knowledge and go ride together.

Dee
Dee
6 years ago
Reply to  newme

Urgh – that sucks Newme! Did you also get this line from him: “Well YOU never made time to go with me!” Oh pu-leeeeze.?

Cliffs_of_Insanity
Cliffs_of_Insanity
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

ExH’s affair ho was a longtime “friend” from college, and he was godfather to her daughter (who, strangely, looked an *awful* lot like him). She was also a lawyer and had supported and “pushed” him into law when he “needed” the push. She also pulled many political strings to get him two coveted clerkships when he was a mediocre student at best (not too bright) who had graduated (barely) from a lower tier law school. Although I was really uncomfortable with the relationship from the start, I got the typical gaslighting and denial/blameshifting. One particular bit of detritus from their “friendship” that tortured me and which he refused to part with was a photo of the two of them (after he ran a marathon – she also “pushed” him into that: I guess he didn’t have much agency in his life) that he kept in his little box of treasures on our dresser. He refused to throw it out, saying that their relationship was a “non-negotiable.”

Once I pulled my head from the sand and figured out what was going on, I danced the dance and demanded that he send her a NC letter so that we could “survive and recover from an affair” (thanks for nothing, RIC). He did, and she responded with an invitation – a demand, really – that he be there for her daughter’s confirmation. And now this is the most humiliating part: although I was pointedly not invited, I insisted on going with him. When we showed up at the church, he went over to talk to her. He came back and said that he “had” to sit in the front row with the rest of her family, and that I would be obliged to sit apart, a few rows back. I was so messed up that I did it. Why I didn’t go over and punch her and and him in the throats and shake the dust off my feet right then, I will never know. It was beyond a shit sandwich: it was a public humiliation for me and triumph for her (she thought). Of course now in retrospect I realize what a huge favor she did for me by taking such a spineless loser off my hands. And for making me realize that he wasn’t worth it, because he didn’t think I was.

Just as an aside, women like that – strident, controlling, competitive bitches who are “one of the guys” but who gun for married men – make me a bit ill. Although to most of the world they seem like driven high achievers, deep down they are so very needy for kibbles, their soul an abyss that nothing and no one can fill. Like parasites eternally feeding off the crumbs from another woman’s table. Eew. ?
Last I heard of her she had been appointed to a judgeship – how ironic, for someone so unfit, morally speaking and otherwise.

Once I trusted that he sucked and wisely removed myself from this bizarre triangle, she had nothing to fight for and no one to fight with. I bet it was no longer as much fun without a “rival” to vanquish. Nothing like kicking one leg out from under a three legged stool and watching it self destruct. Lol. Looking back, it seems like the whole thing was more about me in her mind than him, in the sense that I suspected she was way more about the challenge than the prize. Did anyone else experience this with their exH’s affair partner?

Last I heard of him he married another lawyer and they bred. Gross. ?

So so grateful to be free of such abuse and crazy making. And what’s more important, I am a better me now than I have ever been. I came through the fire purified and stronger than I was when I went in. I have experience and depth of character that I previously lacked. I have more empathy. I learned the hard lessons I needed to learn to truly come into my own. So yeah, happy ending. πŸ™‚

Dee
Dee
6 years ago

Cliffs, that is just horrible. You are not alone – I know the desperation you felt. I have a similar screwed up church-related story. OW’s grandmother died, and Ex insisted on going to the funeral. A four hour drive away. Because she was such a good family friend, you know. I told him that we were not close enough to her and her family to justify taking the day off work to go, but he insisted, saying to me: “When your mom died last year, didn’t it bring you comfort when people cared enough to drive to the funeral?” Yep. He used my mother’s death to manipulate me into agreeing to go. It chills me now. So we went. No way in hell was I going to let him go alone. When we arrived at the church service (surprise!) I stared straight at OW’s husband, and at the moment I think we knew. We just knew…

FMT
FMT
6 years ago
Reply to  Dee

What a sickening violation.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago

COI… sounds like you X got himself a nice Dominatrix… good riddance and ride on into the sunset without either “bitch”!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago

Gogfather Gobfather Goofather FATHER… But the mom/ evidently is a Jesus Cheater, confirmation and all.

MightyE
MightyE
6 years ago

Yep! “More about the challenge than the prize” is a common story. Imitation E wheedled, begged, and cajoled him to leave for years, and then when he did, she didn’t know what to do with him.

She thought that it would be instant Epic Romance Time, apparently, but instead got a sad alcoholic moping around her apartment all depressed because the wife he thought he’d just be best friends with wouldn’t speak to him.

(How he thought that was going to work can only be explained by serious delusion.)

Then he got sober and left. That must have made her head spin.

FreeNow
FreeNow
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

Mighty E,

“This…She thought that it would be instant Epic Romance Time, apparently, but instead got a sad alcoholic moping around her apartment all depressed because the wife he thought he’d just be best friends with wouldn’t speak to him.”

(How he thought that was going to work can only be explained by serious delusion.)

Key word Mighy E they are delusional.

XH showed up at my house with Valentine’s flowers and card post my kicking him out on DD and his moving in with whore he also gave flowers, took to dinner and continued their fuckfest 2016.

I was reeling from DD and just diagnosed highly aggressive cancer. I asked him why he would do something so cruel. He said, “who else would bring you flowers?”

You can’t make this delusional cruelty up.
I dumped his flowers in my compost and told him I now give myself flowers.

What he received from me was 100% no contact and a divorce petition. He was shocked that I grew a backbone and his charm, rage or sad sausage no longer worked on me. His jig and his mask were up. He got away with it for 36 years. No more!

I grow my own fragrant roses now. As a matter of fact my peaceful and healing home is surrounded by my own flowers; just the way I like.

She won an old, saggy balled and limp dick, lying, cheating, foul breath, drunk with 50% less income/assets. They deserve one another.

Beth
Beth
6 years ago
Reply to  FreeNow

Ugh. What a total rotter your ex is. I’m so glad you’re free now, FreeNow!! I bet your flowers are beautiful. πŸ™‚

Anita
Anita
6 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Rotter. I like that too. People on here come up with the best descriptive terms.

violet
violet
6 years ago

Yes, there was something about OW’s need to win in every aspect of her life. I called her Penelope from the SNL skit by Kirsten Wigg. If someone talked about going on a mountain hike, she claimed to have climbed Mt. Everest. It was bizarre. She was the biggest “one upper” I have ever met.

X made the typical cliche move and brought the bitch to our home for dinner. My youngest was in junior high school, and we had just returned home from a track meet. OW began lecturing my daughter about how inappropriate it was for my daughter to be wearing her track shorts at the dinner table. Daughter looked at me like,”WTF?” And, of course, being my daughter, took OW down in about two sentences.

One of my friends was also there and she point blank asked OW why she was at our home. Even she could sense something was not right. OW acted like she was offended by the question, as if she were queen of MY castle!

That encounter definitely rubbed me the wrong way and I had a huge fight with X about it. Naturally, I was accused of being a paranoid, suspicious shrew, who was just jealous of OW. What BS. I think OW was trying my life on for size. As she got crazier, she began telling her friends that her kids were getting a rich dad, who was going to pay for their “new lifestyle.” She also began showing up places where she knew my kids would be. The entire experience was bizarre.

FreeWoman
FreeWoman
6 years ago

Fantastic, Cliffs! Gain your life, and self-awareness too ?
Yes, the X’s final AP, who I have diagnosed as Histrionic, was crazy as all getout. She used to throw glasses at my front door, toilet-papered my front yard TWICE, and emailed X to wake up to the fact they were soulmates. She wanted him bad. Then I lawyered up and left! He was nothing to her about two months later, so it was just the chase, and shitting on a wife, that she really loved. Oh how I laughed after he told me- well, she wasn’t what she appeared to be ?
She was a fuckin nut, and why did he not know?

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago

Cliffs–that confirmation story is downright creepy as a window into the X’s soul. Awful; I’m sorry you were treated so badly, but you’ve spun gold out of straw post-divorce.

ForgeOn!
ForgeOn!
6 years ago

“Looking back, it seems like the whole thing was more about me in her mind than him, in the sense that I suspected she was way more about the challenge than the prize. Did anyone else experience this with their exH’s affair partner?”

Yes, Cliffs…..This is very common. Once again, right out of the ‘Devils’s Playbook’. This happened in my situation & it is explained by psychologists.

Also the emptiness you mentioned: “…their soul an abyss that nothing and no one can fill. Like parasites eternally feeding off the crumbs from another woman’s table.”
Your wording / description is excellent! These types of females are absolutely disgusting & seem to be ‘a dime a dozen’. Nothing to admire about them at all!

Now, an actual contribution to today’s topic: One OW, the one that was long-term & the most involved, actually lived with us. Thought we were helping them out while she & husband ‘got on their feet’ financially. They were, after all, family & that’s what families do for each other. Right?!
Then, she kicked her husband out of our house on false charges of abuse. I still did not know cheaterpants was ‘doing her’. She now needed to work, so she worked for us in business & I even babysat her kids while she went to a ‘counseling session’ at woman’s shelter. Or so I thought. She was actually out with cheaterpants. And they also did their filth in our home……Yeppers The worst kind of scum all around. Good times……

There’s more, but I have a cheater-free life to go live!

Divorce now done……Free of the mind-games & sickness!

Love all y’all as we all ForgeOn!

Anita
Anita
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

It’s only a turn on if you are a sick psychopathic disgusting cheater. Turds.

I think most of the “at home fuckers” are financially based. By the time they rent a motel they could probably afford a hooker and get what they really want.

MightyE
MightyE
6 years ago
Reply to  Anita

I know my “at-home fucker” (awesome phrase!) was financially motivated to carry on at home. Can’t afford to rent a motel room when you’re drinking your whole paycheck.

MightyAgain
MightyAgain
6 years ago
Reply to  Anita

I agree! Mine had sex at his work place where they have empty guest apartments, and of course at her house, while her husband was at work. I came home from work at all different hours, so he couldn’t count on my home.

Loulotte02
Loulotte02
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyAgain

Mine had sex with her in his office, while I was working in the room upstairs….I worked with him at the time and she was our ho-worker…

Loulotte02
Loulotte02
6 years ago
Reply to  Loulotte02

His ho-worker πŸ˜‰

Kaf
Kaf
6 years ago
Reply to  Anita

Mine had sex with our babysitter in our house before they went to the hotel. Guess it was a turn on to do it in a place that would make me mad.

Twitching
Twitching
6 years ago
Reply to  Anita

I agree. They want a private spot and hotels are expensive. I think they compartmentalize and make themselves believe it has nothing to do with defiling a sacred space.

It’s really messed up thinking, obviously.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Twitching

Mine was too cheap to take her anywhere that would cost money. What a prize!

Alex
Alex
6 years ago
Reply to  horsesrcumin

Ha sounds like mine! He was so cheap he would only bang her in the back of her Kia in motel parking lots or public parks. Quite the Latin lover.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

Newday, on the Cruelty-o-meter, your cheater registers a 9. He didn’t get a 10 because he lacked originality. I bet there will be a dozen more stories like yours on this blog today.

MIdlifeBLAST
MIdlifeBLAST
6 years ago
Reply to  newdaydawning

It’s amazing what some people find a turn on really. Maybe the could give this particular perversion a latin name

Gross! I’m sorry newday πŸ™

Cupcake
Cupcake
6 years ago
Reply to  MIdlifeBLAST

Mendaciphilia, the love of lying?

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago
Reply to  MIdlifeBLAST

I remember my first boyfriend trying to get me onto his parents bed, seriously you have to be kidding. Friggin weird.

Tundra Woman
Tundra Woman
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady b

Yeah really? I’d rather do it for the first time in the back seat of the vehicle. But that’d kill my interest as well. Fortunately or unfortunately I was the oldest virgin in the Boomer’s “Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll” generation and insisted (oh so very politely, of course) in a “neutral setting.”

Deargawd, what a disappointment to a Catholic School girl. Really? THAT’S IT? Where the hell is the Cherubim and Seraphim? Where is the Heaven’s Parting? YOU GOTTA BE SHITTNG ME, I saved “this” for looking over the shoulder of this guy’s ass doing a woodpecker and the most “intriguing” thing is his hair on his ass bouncing up and down?

Oh hell. If I had a clue I’d have “done it” with this guy instead: My first “oh TW, you’re heading for the first and worst fall,” who wrote me a “Dear Jane” letter from Boot Camp. Mon Dieu, I was ”saving” absolutely nothing for nothing. No offense to the Catholics, but please don’t do this to your kids: This was beyond description my worst, most horrid “Welcome to being a Groan Up” world experience. At that moment, you loose more than credibility-you loose your “voice/control” for eternity.

There is nothing short of those angels that could have sufficed: No “Apocalypse” that could begin to meet the expectations proffered. (And that’s a negative phenomena.) The Earth was suppose to move under my feet! Instead, the damn bed springs were the accompaniment. I had more exciting experiences albeit not the same watching Bonzo doing his thing on “Moby Dick” standing backstage at the Philmore.
Waddamess.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Tundra Woman

Oh stink TW. I had the perf experience. Also waaaay older than all my mates. Read, age started with a 2. With the guy I was deliriously in love with for the next 27 years. It was stunning. As was the rest of thone years.

But we all know how that story ended.

Always advised my kids to be in charge of their sexuality. To enjoy, and stay safe, emotionally and sexually. They have. Three of them have all been completely in charge of their sexualities. Differing ages (of first contact!) Differing chats over the years.

A while back I read an incredible article about young female sexuality. It echoed my thoughts, but put it far more eloquently than I ever could. About not hiding it, loving your body and power and being respectful, honest and safe. I have two daughters and one son, and those messages are important. They all say they have zero regrets. And good experiences with sex and love. Wish I’d bookmarked that article!

SaraA
SaraA
6 years ago

My ex-husband and I met in law school–the first say, actually–and we dated 3 years before getting married. He pretended to be a doting husband. I found out in 2013 after 10 years of marriage that he was a serial cheater who solicited sex with random strangers on the internet (Craigslist & Ashley Madison) along with having sex with local women who were drug users. He was general corporate counsel for a very large local credit union, where we had our mortgage. I found out during the divorce that he made “special arrangements” to have one of his crazy cocaine-using affair partners conduct our mortgage closing, meaning she had all my financials, my personal information, my SSN, etc. I sat in a room with them both for well over an hour, talking and joking as she witnessed and notarized my mortgage documents. He would lose his law license if anyone found out.

MotherChumper99
MotherChumper99
6 years ago
Reply to  SaraA

Wow! Similarities! I met X on first day of law school also — DDay 25 years later but after the mask was off full on narcissist sociopath: blamed even our kids– said the stress of their existence and (normal) family demands MADE him “have an emotional non-PA attraction and texting flirtation with 30 yo messenger he met in the elevator of his downtown office highrise.” LIAR! Within weeks he was paying $5k a month for their secret glass apt downtown. Gave me an STD that proved it was a PA.
many more OWs have come to light going back 18 years. It was all a fraud. I’m divorced now and completely NC. I got everything in the trial.

He’s still living with OW, supporting her through private low-rank law school – baahaaahaaa! Our kids won’t have anything to do with him– his health is horrible now. He’s permanently stuck on rage channel. Ugly and rotten to the core.

In our D, whore gave a false statement that X’s testimony actually completely revealed to be false. When her character and fitness hearing for bar admission comes up in a few years I just might put that into the bar admission committee’s hands. Then again, who has time for that shit– I’m busy as hell as a new partner at a big firm and raising my kids completely solo 24/7.

So many similarities here……

Sailing
Sailing
6 years ago

Please do your profession a favour and put that info into the bar admission committee’s hands.

Anewwoman
Anewwoman
6 years ago

The vasectomy that I nursed him back from. (Who spends a week in bed after a vasectomy, btw?) He wouldn’t get one for ten years after our youngest was born but then suddenly he wanted one.

geekmom
geekmom
6 years ago
Reply to  Anewwoman

Mine used his vasectomy, which our insurance paid for and I catered to him during the long week of recovery, as a selling point in his Craigslist ads. Too bad he couldn’t spell the word correctly.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  Anewwoman

Actually the vasectomy was my idea after the birth of my third. It was for his sake as much as mine because he didn’t like condoms and the pill killed my libido. I suppose I could have gotten my tubes tied, but that is more invasive than a vasectomy and I am the one who went through three pregnancies and childbirth so a vasectomy didn’t seem like too much to ask. At the time he went along with it and didn’t complain, but of course he later added it to his long list of resentments against me. He sure found a use for it in the end, however. I’ll show her, I’ll let other women get the advantages of pregnancy free sex with me. Jerk.

champchump
champchump
6 years ago
Reply to  Anewwoman

Newwoman, my x did the same thing! Got a vasectomy when our youngest was 10. I had long since given up asking him to get one. I found out much later that his call to action was that he found out he had impregnated some stranger he picked up in a bar on a business trip and he was being sued for child support. Which he then paid secretly for years. Of course I took him in for the procedure and brought him ice packs for his aching groin. But it wasn’t me he was concerned for—he had no intention of ever being sued for child support again.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  champchump

Words fail me. What a douchebag.

Vastra
Vastra
6 years ago
Reply to  Anewwoman

LOL – they can be done under local anaesthetic in a clinic, and straight back to work! Mine had his vasectomy soon after he left me, but sent the health fund payment receipt to me, no doubt to keep it hidden from OW who was desperate for a baby with him (no pregnancy 4 years later, she must be wondering why).

I had OW (my son’s music teacher, who also started teaching my ex) over to dinner after she had an ear operation. An operation my surgeon ex arranged (and probably paid for) as she had no money, a fact she bemoaned constantly. Her face was swollen and she kept whining “oh I look so awful!” in her breathy little girl voice. Stupid me was reassuring her she looked fine, but secretly thinking this was the most painful evening of my life, and if I didn’t know my husband was a decent man and she was deeply religious, I’d bet they were having an affair.

Whodoesthat
Whodoesthat
6 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Haha that is so the same …. had a vasectomy years ago but now talking babies with his trade in !? Maybe hes forgotten and keeping her hopeful by going through the performance of condoms (lots of detail can be gleaned from bank statements that indicate religiously ever fri and sat evening he paid a visit to the pharmacy then the liquor store then got a dvd…right where OW lived .) what a lying shitbag cheater.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Vastra, LOL. You are in good company, being so inocent.

Fstl
Fstl
6 years ago

My fuckwit was given an expensive scarf by her fuckbuddy. She wore it to our marriage counseling (I later worked out…)

Myintuitionwasright
Myintuitionwasright
6 years ago

My ex had been living in an apartment and I was in our home, but when the divorce was final I moved out of the home and he moved back in with the OW (long story). In the midst of me frantically packing and sorting through ten years of mementos, he sends me a text saying: The OW will start getting mail at the house next week, please set it aside for her. (I wasn’t moving out for another two weeks)
Yeah, sure! I’ll set it aside right in the shredder!

WisedUp
WisedUp
6 years ago

I kicked my cheater out of our home on DDay. He had the nerve to ask this before he left, (after hours of insane conversation!), “Ok, but is it okay if I come back tomorrow evening to take a shower? I have a date with [OW].” This was already planned I guess. What wasn’t planned was me finding out about their affair. I’d had about two hours to process the bombshell of him cheating and was ecstatic that he could “date” her openly the very next day.

WisedUp
WisedUp
6 years ago
Reply to  WisedUp

*HE was ecstatic (typo)

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
6 years ago

The nerve of that “request” is shocking.

chump-tastic
chump-tastic
6 years ago

Ha. My ex still hasn’t changed his address with the post office, probably because he still sees the current lady he’s crashing with as “temporary” after a couple of years. You know, it’s important that he keep his options open. The first couple of weeks after I asked him to change his address, I set aside mail for him and gave it to him when he came for child visitation. Then I realized “What kind of a force of habit, b.s. thing am I doing here?” and quite. So now every single piece of mail I get to my house, not addressed to me, goes right in the garbage. Bye bye bills! Not my job to be your secretary anymore.

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
6 years ago
Reply to  chump-tastic

Same problem–6 years out. But I do get a bit of pleasure when mail arrives that demonstrates he’s making financial errors. A teaspoon of schadenfreude can’t hurt me now and again, can it?

Vastra
Vastra
6 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

LOL Eilonwy- that deserves a place in the upcoming Chump Nation “Leave a Cheater” musical. (Cue Mary Poppins music…) “A teaspoon of schadenfreude makes the shit sandwich go down…in a slightly less nauseating way”.

mila
mila
6 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

Loooved it, when he did not pay the urgent care center the measly 65$ copay. I had scanned and sent him the invoice, the reminder, and yet he doesn’t pay. So it went to collections. And he missed two car payments. Schadenfreude.

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  Eilonwy

THIS… I had to co-sign a leases for Mr. Sparkles to move out because his credit score was so low. 2 years later, I’m off the lease… but they still copy me when he’s missed a rent payment or hasn’t paid his taxes, etc.

As CL always says… they take their crappy life skills with them.

Good riddance.

Marci
Marci
6 years ago

I reported the OW to the city tax dept when Ex moved into her apartment because she no longer qualofied for the single discount. She couldn’t prove exactly when he moved, so they reverted to a back,charge for a whole year. That was priceless…cost them about Β£300 they didn’t have. The tax lady told me in person what a pleasure it was to,send the bill to them after I told her their affair story. I love being judgmental when the opportunity arises.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Marci

I must be that bitch, too. Was horrified twenty years ago when a mate’s XW was claiming single parent benefit whilst living with her AP – her former business partner and best friend’s husband! My mate wouldn’t dob her in to authorities. And he was paying the benefit anyway, and could have paid less if the govt dept knew. Super chump.

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago
Reply to  chump-tastic

I Struck his name out and wrote CHEATER then put it in his work post box for his co workers to find. Yep was very statifying.
I was at court getting a restraining order yesterday and got talking to other women doing the same, except hers was against her druggie son. Turns out she works with asshole who she thought was gay and meek and mild, no that his public image, he’s a raging manipulator and cheater, sure that’s going to get around. He mainly works with women who he has spun a load of stuff to.
Sometimes the universe just loves you.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady b

Lady b,

YOU are amazing.
Hear CN roar!
?

MN Moved On
MN Moved On
6 years ago
Reply to  chump-tastic

My ex also refused to deal with filing a change of address form with the Post Office, until I marked the annual notices from his union pension fund and from Social Security “DECEASED — RETURN TO SENDER”

Man, did that unleash a shit show when he found out what hoops needed to be jumped through to fix those issues!!! The emails I got could have scorched Atlanta better than Sherman, lol!

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Hahahahahaaaaa, brilliant! !!!

This past January, I was accused of being a mail thief by “doing something” to one of exh#2/The Evil One’s W2 from a former employer of his. Idiot never informed said-employer of his address change to his slut-shack, much less change in spouse. When I called employer to verify they had sent W2 to my address, they stated not only did he notify them off his address, but I was still his spouse/emergency contact. Idiot.

Never did see the W2, but did see a fat stuffed envelope addressed to TEO sent to my house from the State’s Legal Department of the Department of Transportation. I jumped right back into my car and went straight to the post office and had it returned to sender.

I had to get rid of it before I succumbed to temptation of opening it! I do regret not opening it though.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Love It MN! Man, the things these cheater’s do to maintain centrality.

Anita
Anita
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

They only forward mail for a year so it’s on the person to make sure they give people their new address.

Marci
Marci
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Yeah, I sent back all his mail marked deceased. I also took down his photo sites amd deleted all his precious,pictures of the OW that I found on his flickr.

I threw most oF his possessions except for a few of the crappiest things that I black-bagged and delivered to his office receptionist. I left a few random things in the cupboard which when the cops came to “reclaim” his stuff, I,was able to give them with a shrug. Hey, I said to them, he was penniless and I was supporting him! He sure wasn’t getting back anything I purchased for him. Some charity in Africa got that good stiff.

Carine
Carine
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Actually, this can land you into legal trouble if the ex is really vindictive. YOU were very, very lucky.

I’ve also seen the government go after people for this type of stuff. All you need is someone petty in your local office who will NOT be happy you have just made your life harder.

– A Lawyer

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  Carine

It’s illegal to tamper with/open other people’s mail.

I sold the house to an attorney and his spoiled wife (no job or career but needed a full-time babysitter) and moved out of state. He got my new address through a childhood friend (he’s friends with one of her siblings) by claiming that he wanted to thank me and tell me how much he and his family are enjoying the house. I never received a thank-you note but I did receive opened pieces of mail stuffed in an envelope. Once is a mistake,several times is intentional. He knew exactly what he was doing.

I thought about reporting him to the bar association but decided to move on. Funny how I managed to keep my mitts off their mortgage packet mailed to what was still my house before closing. Guess I have better boundaries and manners… Had to have a talk with my friend about boundaries ! She needs to learn how to say “no”. I had told her about the wife’s bitchy behavior.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Carine

But, respectfully, wouldn’t it be difficult to prove WHO actually wrote on the envelope?

Not cheater’s mail, but other’s mail I so very frequently receive really ticks me off.
I have enough paper garbage to deal with and have to return other people’s mail to the post, way too frequently.
Just saying…..and asking?

Aveline
Aveline
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

If you are the one residing where it’s delivered, it might be on you to prove it wasn’t you. Your fingerprints will be on that mail. Will anyone else’s?

Unless you live with 20 other people where there’s no way of knowing, I really, really don’t advise doing this.

If you are in the USA, messing with someone’s mail and their government benefits are federal crimes. Full stop.

Also, if you are in the middle of a divorce and the judge finds out you did something like this, you will be toast. (I’m a divorce attorney, I’ve had to explain this to a lot of clients who have done things like you are suggesting).

A lot of these revenge maneuvers are either illegal or seriously backfire.

mila
mila
6 years ago
Reply to  Aveline

Mhmm, could you please give some examples where the government actually went through the trouble to have an envelope fingerprinted, and then come to your house to check for a match? Last not least, the ex is dead to her.
I just write not at this address. But, I really like the deceased idea :).
Once I went to the OW house, and then the ex called and told me she could get a restraining order against me. I just laughed. I simply rang the door bell politely, and when she did not open, I left.

JeepTess
JeepTess
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

Peacekeeper πŸ™‚

I took back my maiden name AND moved to a new location…and I have received satan’s mail! WHAT!

…I always write on it, ‘Return to Sender, No Evil Monster’s at this address’ …and draw an arrow to his name

πŸ™‚ …sayin πŸ™‚

…sometimes I crack myself up πŸ™‚

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  JeepTess

Hi JeepTess,

I always love your style!

I am happy you have your name back and even happier
that no evil monsters live at your house!

YOU are a good egg, keep on cracking yourself up!

A sense of humour saves us!

((((FriendHugs))))

JeepTess
JeepTess
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

Peacekeeper πŸ™‚

Thank you! I needed a good hug! πŸ™‚

I’ve seen my mailman crack up when he picks up my ‘return to sender’ mail too πŸ™‚ That makes me happy all over again πŸ™‚ Community service! Laughter is the best medicine for sure! Genuine, unfettered belly laughs can cure a myriad of ills! πŸ˜€

I am grateful every day for you and all of CN! WE got this and WE gonna make it better πŸ™‚ Bless Tracy for this site and all the healing it provides daily! WE all provide this wonderful service to each other! It is AMAZING! πŸ™‚

Even Beau the Monster Biter benefits! Happy Mom! Happy Beau! πŸ˜€

Thank you πŸ™‚

FindingBliss
FindingBliss
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Ooh, I love this idea big time!

Amazon Chump
Amazon Chump
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

What a great idea! I’ll have to do that for the mail I still get 2 years later.

Vastra
Vastra
6 years ago
Reply to  MN Moved On

Fabulous way to deal with their inertia over mundane details like redirecting their own mail!

Sweetsunny
Sweetsunny
6 years ago
Reply to  Vastra

Brilliant! My mom is still getting ex’s mail. We haven’t lived with her in 10 years and the divorce was final three years ago. ill have to share that idea with my mom. Lol!

JesssMom
JesssMom
6 years ago

I’m gobsmacked at these assholes. I shouldn’t be at this point, but for some reason this kind of crap still shocks me.

I think the shredder was the perfect response to your ex’s request. πŸ˜‰

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago

Mine got me to help him keep calling American Airlines to recover suitcase for AP, who had accompanied X on a business trip to Orlando. He had checked her suitcase under his name because she already had two 32kg bags (!!!). Chumpy me swallowed the story that this “assistant” had time for so much shopping when she was supposed to be working.

I also now understand the shit-eating grin on X’s face when he told me how much he enjoyed Busch Gardens on that trip.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Ugh . can’t. Even.

hollowbunny
hollowbunny
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Ew ew ew

nomar
nomar
6 years ago

My ex-wife had several APs, so I have many examples. Dinners at our home, kids’ birthday parties, free professional advice, and, yes, cheater art on the wall. A self-portrait, even!

Why did no one tell me how odd it is for your wife’s boss to gift her a self portrait??

Why do they do it? In my ex’s case, I’d guess her love of deception, a compulsion to accumulate cool stuff (tech gadgets, baby pets, boyfriends), and a need to assert her superiority through secret advantage. I think those three factors explain 90 percent of all the decisions she makes in life.

and she was
and she was
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

2 “models” he had “photographed” attended my wedding and are in my wedding pics hugging him. Jewelry he gave me made by a “friend”. Pictures of a “friend” with her arms around my young children on a trip he took them on to see their grandma. Email 2 days before my wedding making a date to meet up with yet another “model” “friend” for a “photo shoot” –on MY birthday. Email to “dancer (as in pole)” “friend” to send her some great photos he took when he was recently in her town –with me on our honeymoon. Photo of naked skank in my children’s playroom posed with exact same heart-shaped props he had my children pose with for the Valentine’s Day card he helped them make for me.

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Mine wanted to put a massive beach photo on the wall. I’m pretty sure it was taken by shagabag who thought she was an artiste.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady b

Miss Artsy-Fartsy !

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

“a need to assert her superiority through secret advantage.”

Ding, ding, ding!You hit the nail on the head, Nomar. The thrill of having their foot on the back of the person they’ve supposedly pledged their life to is a huge turn-on to cheaters.

Mine showed me an African necklace that one of his ‘grateful’ students had given him, and had a HUGE piece of artwork in his recreation room from an AP during his former marriage (and there is a lesson–cheaters don’t change. I believed my cheater’s ‘remorse’ about his treatment of his former wife. Still kick myself for that gullibility.)

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  nomar

Chump Lady has an explanation about WHY cheaters feel contempt for chumps.

Does anyone here remember it? It is very handy for today’s Fun Friday.

I think it has something to do with Power Dynamics.

nomoreskankboy
nomoreskankboy
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

CW, yep to Power Dynamics. I gave skankboy a powerectomy on Dday!

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  nomoreskankboy

Love It, powerectomy it is!!

Newlady15
Newlady15
6 years ago

Mine had his sluts in our beds–home, cottage and Florida in rooms full of my clothes and mementos. He also used my car to take his last AP on a shopping trip to the US under the guise of selling it there for me ( he’s a car dealer). Car wasn’t sold and he claimed it needed some work–bullsh$t. I was watching as he ate here and there not alone paid for a motel room and spent money shopping on our joint credit card. This was after the separation but before he moved out..

Micha
Micha
6 years ago

My sister’s cheating X started a new business and put BOTH women in charge. Yep, he literally had them become business partners, and neither knew about the other (for about a minute). Then he sat back and watched the fireworks, walking away from both of them when the show was all but over. #sickshitnarcsdo

Vastra
Vastra
6 years ago
Reply to  Micha

That is sick, orchestrating a scene with 2 women fighting over him. My ex tried to stage a similar meeting soon after D-day when I was dropping the kids over to him after work one friday. He specified we had to change the location to a local basketball court and had this smirk on his face, I knew something was up. I stuck to our usual arrangement, but by chance walked past the court shortly after, and saw in the distance OW parking her new luxury car in front of it around the time of the planned drop-off. Further evidence of what a sadistic narc he was.

Chumpasaurus Rex
Chumpasaurus Rex
6 years ago

After I asked him repeatedly to please not have her in our home as I went to my parent’s out of state to regain my composure, he had her in our home. Our door was accessed by calling our phones. He didn’t answer when she came over, so I received the door buzz. Later, I realized she had taken a handful of my coats and clothing. Why the hell would the OW want my stuff?! I guess she considered it a clothing swap since they later placed a pair of her panties in my work bag…

Sadistic…

MightyE
MightyE
6 years ago

I only worked out much later what happened to my favorite pair of Rocket Dog shoes. She wouldn’t have fit into any of my clothes, but I guess they’re compelled to take some sort of “trophy.”

Chumpasaurus Rex
Chumpasaurus Rex
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

Yeah…I didn’t figure it out until I had moved out. I still think “whatever happened to my favorite white trench…oh.” She couldn’t fit into any of my things either, but I guess that didn’t stop her from taking them…

RobinLee
RobinLee
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

Who in the world steals *shoes* ?

MightyE
MightyE
6 years ago
Reply to  RobinLee

Someone who desperately wants to be the person whose husband she’s screwing. Like there was some weird stalker shit going on when I thought she was just his coworker. Dying her hair red, (I’m a natural redhead,) trying to shop at the same stores I like, (but she’s definitively “plus” sized, and vintage shops don’t carry much in that size,) reading the same books I have on the shelf like she has a prayer of understanding dense texts on neurobiology or feminist theory without having ever attended college. I mean, the weirdo seriously wanted to BE me.

And the one thing we apparently did have in common other than sleeping with the loser was a shoe size.

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

That is so sick. That is seriously serial killer shit! That just tells you what you’re dealing with.

Vastra
Vastra
6 years ago
Reply to  MightyE

I agree, it’s as primitive as marking their territory

Mutterchump
Mutterchump
6 years ago

One of my stbx husband’s affair partners sent a pair of sandals as a gift to our two year old daughter. My husband never said who they were from — they just appeared in her room one day. I kept asking who they were from, because I couldn’t remember and was worried that I had failed to send a thank you note to my parents, who would never let me hear the end of it. He claimed he didn’t know.

They were cute, but our daughter didn’t like to wear them. But on the day we went to get our family portrait taken, he insisted that she wear them. Even though she was crying, he put them on her and refused to let her take them off. Eventually she adapted and we got some great pictures.

Two years later, this February, when I’ve learned about his cheating and am reading the messages between him and this woman (one of his ~14 APs over the years), I see that he had emailed the proofs of the pictures of our daughter to her, saying how wonderful the sandals were and how much our daughter loved them. I’ve taken down all those pictures and shoved them in a drawer, because even though I love the photo of our daughter, I can’t see anything but the shoes from the whore.

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  Mutterchump

Oh, sweet baby Jesus. .. I want to throat-punch your ex! !! That is beyond despicable.

Beth
Beth
6 years ago
Reply to  Mutterchump

Wow. Just wow. It is unbelievable (and yet not) how awful these pseudo humans are. After my divorce a friend of my mom’s took one of my wedding pictures and through some magic of photoshop, cropped my ex out of the picture! It’s wonderful to have that picture of me looking beautiful in my wedding dress surrounded by my family, with no fucktard to be seen. It looks completely natural; if you didn’t know the groom was in the original you would think the photo was taken that way. Since my beloved Dad and grandparents are now deceased, the “new” picture is very precious to me. Maybe you can do the same with the picture of your daughter – either crop the shoes out or “change” them to other shoes. Then you can keep the picture of your lovely daughter without having to think about those damn shoes.

P.S. What sort of monster makes his poor child miserable just to score a point with the OW? Asshole.

Digbert
Digbert
6 years ago
Reply to  Beth

I (with the help of photoshop) actually replaced my XH in 2 really nice wedding photos with Gerard Butler – I posted pics of them one year (on my non wedding anniversary) on FB to my friends (many who had attended the wedding) they loved them ❀️

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  Beth

Beth, please give us more tips on this Photo cropping technique…

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  Mutterchump

Sounds like you need a new photo shoot!

After my first D-day, I was on vacation with Mr. Sparkles and our son. I scheduled an appointment to just have me and my son have our pictures taken together. I’m so glad I did because even though he is gone, I have those memories of me and my son.

Lothos
Lothos
6 years ago
Reply to  Mutterchump

HOLYCOW! What balls he had with the sweater and how shitty to get the kids involved. WTF!

MidlifeBlast
MidlifeBlast
6 years ago
Reply to  Mutterchump

Omg, creep! I see that I’m going to get so mad reading this post today

Flimflam
Flimflam
6 years ago

Clearwaters, your cheater is a mega asshole!

AlmostThere
AlmostThere
6 years ago

He asked me to bake his coworker (ho-worker) a birthday cake, and I did. Looking back, I can see it and realize how disordered he is.

Marci
Marci
6 years ago
Reply to  AlmostThere

Yeah, mine picked out Christmas and birthday gifts for his “supervisor” at work…the one who supposedly kept giving him good reviews. And I paid for those gifts since I recall wondering why he always was short of money part way through each month. It would happen when I’d be buying some little thing for our home, and he’s say, oh get a second one and I can gift it to “OW” next time! I look back and see now that he must have bee involved with her almost our entire relationship. Silly cow, I hope she enjoys his daft company.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
6 years ago
Reply to  AlmostThere

Well, in his mind as the “household appliance wife,” that’s what you were supposed to do to help make him sparkle.

Unconscionable.

ClearWaters
ClearWaters
6 years ago
Reply to  AlmostThere

Almost,
Looking back, if it were me I would be glad I was a Chump because I would have spiked the cake with something that would send me to jail.

Sucker Punched by a Saffa
Sucker Punched by a Saffa
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

Spiking a cake with milk of magnesia would work wonders on a gastrointestinal tract !

A middle school boy is being bullied by a classmate who breaks into his locker every day and steals the boy’s lunch. Boy tells his mother what is happening. Mama Bear tells her son “Hey sweetie,buy lunch today in the cafeteria but don’t eat the stuff I packed for you, okay ?”

Bully does his usual (breaking and entering,theft) and has a severe case of the runs. Problem solved. Little sociopath in the making.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  ClearWaters

I agree CW and along with the spiked B’Day cake we could pack some lovely spiked shit sandwiches.
Yummmmm, in both their faces.
If above was not quite spiked enough we could repeat with more spiking added to the D’Day cake.

Awwwwww, thank you Fun Friday, that feels better.
(I am in the kitchen baking)!

???

UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
UnsinkableMollyXinAlabama
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

Like the “chocolate pie” from The Help???

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago

Exactly what I was thinking. Eat my shit! Two slice Hilly ???

Methesucker
Methesucker
6 years ago

My ex was cheating with her co-work that I had at the house to help him with extra money while he was going through his divorce. Cash so his wife wouldn’t know. Then I would give him food to take home felt sorry you know he was a veteran and we are supposed to help them out. Little did I know the entire time he was having his lovely affair with my wife. Let him stay at my mother-laws house while we where trying to sell it so he had place to stay. Yeah so he and my ex could hook up. Best let him become friends with my kids. Think he is the coolest. Never trust anyone period.

Untold
Untold
6 years ago
Reply to  Methesucker

That really really sucks. The nerve of them to take advantage of your empathy, charity and generosity. It’s incredible. You will be honored in this life or another for that suffering.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Methesucker

Methesucker,
Damn,
if you had known you could have served them special sandwiches and cake,
as above!

4kids30yearstortured
4kids30yearstortured
6 years ago

He would tell me that he felt sorry for my friend/ neighbor down the road cause her husband was always away. He would suggest that we get her to come with us on our dates. Its funny, now that i look back, i remember having a weird sensation as i walked towards them after coming back from the washroom with heads huddled together in deep discussion. They had been having an affair for over 2 years. This women and her husband were our friends, we went out together, spent xmas eve together, etc. But the joke was on her in the end. He had a few other girlfriends as well.

freedheart
freedheart
6 years ago

4kids, I totally get this one. I didn’t drive (now I do) so our “friend” offered to drive me to the retreat centre where I was going for a week to finish a book I was writing. When I returned home (also driving by our “friend”), my same-gender cheater had changed the sheets–something she never did (I was the laundress in the family). They had been using the time to cheat on me all week. She would also have a two year affair with my ex b4 I saw the light (after many trials and tribulations) and I also believe the joke will be on her. I have learned my ex may well have had other lovers, and I have little doubt her pattern of behavior will end any time soon….

Aeronaut
Aeronaut
6 years ago

Naturally. Once a cheater accepts the notion that they have a spouse and a lover, why not add more lovers to the mix? It’s all about character and integrity (well, lack thereof) in the end.

Peace.
aeronaut

hollowbunny
hollowbunny
6 years ago

Mine agreed to mc during his affair so he could impress the mow. He was working on the marriage and it wasn’t working out because of unappreciative wife, see mow? Expensive mc too, so she’d be impressed by the $$ he was spending, poor thing trying to save the sacred union. Also booked hotels for her and her bh so he could show them both how connected and important he was, with high status at all hotel chains. Took me away to expensive hotels so he could tell her about where we stayed so she’d be more enthusiastic about her efforts and maybe also want to go to such fancy places. It was a carrot he dangled to make her want him, she always looked like she’d been camping for weeks, he couldn’t risk being seen with her.

The 2 worst for me: us spending a week at our beach house, him telling me it was the best week we’d had in years, how much he loved me, kissed me goodbye and drove back to work with a stop to see her at a hotel halfway. While he was with her, I was telling mutual friends that we’d turned a corner and how hopeful I was for the marriage, and how sincere he’d been. I was crying with relief, he was getting his dick sucked by a serial cheating hillbilly who thought he was a multi millionaire. But she made the effort and drove hours, left her bh and kids behind, and showed my husband she wanted him so much, while I sipped wine and thanked god my marriage was on track again, she did the work and I did not. Still stings a lot.

Also bad: Sitting on the couch next to me texting the mow and giggling then hiding his phone. It was so cruel and meant to be. I was so confused and always had tears brimming and he’d sneer and tell me I was a drama queen. He was like a teenage bully.

Chumpette
Chumpette
6 years ago
Reply to  hollowbunny

We celebrated our anniversary by going with several friends to a tropical hotel. I thought Sad Sausage was trying to show off by getting a suite that we didn’t need (nor could really afford). Turns out that OW staged a fight with BH and my husband ‘helped them’ by having BH sleep it off on our couch (effectively trapping me in the bedroom, because BH gets ‘handsy’ when drunk (and Sad Sausage ‘informed’ me that BH was groping people a lot – turns out to be a lie)… so I sat awake and stressed in a strange bed in a strange city with a locked door while OW and SS fully utilized BH/OW hotel room.

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago
Reply to  hollowbunny

OMFG amazing vacation here too. I thought everything was fine. We went on an amazing little road trip vacation. He said we had the most perfect day ever. And then less than two weeks after our TENTH ANNIVERSARY he fucked the slut and here I am. I went to meet my girlfriends for dinner in between our trip and D-day and there I am bragging about how happy I am and how amazing our trip was (we were always saving for something because we live in a very expensive area {I was born here} and we rarely went on vacation) and he’s texting that see you next Tuesday and fucking her while I’m just amazingly grateful that my life is feeling so perfect and “we’re so in love still”.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Was expressing how lovely it was to have made it to 25 years together after a difficult year which involved selling our fourth generation business and ‘forever’ home and moving away from our friends and family. I had found it tough. I didn’t agree to the move. But went along with it anyway. Felt I had little choice. I adored him, he made a decision, so I went with it. Leaving him never really crossed my mind as I was still very much in love with him. His reply? This man I adored. “Yeah. Who knew? It’s been a tough year.” That was it. 18 months later I discovered the now ended affair. Digging to find timelines (see CL’s recent post, “I don’t remember”) I eventually realised he had started it about a week earlier than our “silver” anniversary. At the time I thought it so out of character for him to be dismissive of that date. Now I feel sick I made such a fuss of him, telling him how much I appreciated his patience as I worked through my grief and loss at losing my home and having to create a new one. All his doing anyway! The super hot sex, we had several times that day, etc. Ugh. I physically shuddered typing this. ?

Longtimechump
Longtimechump
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Same…10day road trip post Dday. Amazing adventures. Me bragging to friends we are stronger and better and have the common goal. And same discovery a few weeks down the road.

Beans
Beans
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Oh, oh! The OW showed up ON MY FUCKING PORCH the night before our tenth anniversary crying and rolling over on the sonovabitch. I had our anniversary date on my FB so I’m sure that wasn’t an accident. I callwd him at work to come home and get his whore off my porch, and he rolled up with the cops in tow because he’s such a fucking pussy. God times, good times.

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago
Reply to  Beans

I’m a responsible gun owner and fully fearful of the law and don’t believe in shooting someone without actual fear of my life but I have to say if that C–T showed up at my house I’m not sure I could restrain myself! I’d probably shoot her like the rabid dog she is!

It should be justified. In fear of my life. That WHORE broke into my life and stole it. Pretty sure you should be allowed to shoot criminals that steal from you.

Chumpette
Chumpette
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

BTW, Sad Sausage is in no way a pun on your name – I just now saw it, but I use it because wonderful Chump Lady used it once and it sooo describes my SS who somehow gets oh so sad (and sick) any time I “meanly” make him remember what he did.

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago
Reply to  Chumpette

No worries! I’ve seen the terminology and it is so 100% right on! They feel so sorry for this terrible situation they’ve been forced into ? I only call myself Sad Shelby because I’m so damn sad it’s ridiculous. I know I shouldn’t be but I still am ☹️

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Sad Shelby,
I love your sense of humour.
You are very much respected on CN.
When you feel sad think of all of your friends here who love YOU!

Georgie
Georgie
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Dear SadShelby,
Try not to be sad too much He is not worth it. I know we have to go through the sadness and I cry nearly every night but now mostly just for 5 minutes, then get mad and tell myself I will be happy to spite him! We are the good people so sadness shows how much our attachment meant to us and it takes time to break those bonds. We will be happy in the future on our own or with a new love. Don’t let him dictate how you feel. Lots of hugs.

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

Our first family overseas holiday was last year, he blanked me for two weeks pretty much, couldn’t work it out at the time. Every spare minute he was up at reception sending photos to her, fucker.
I swear one day I will go on a holiday with someone who wants to enjoy my company and who loves me, or maybe it will be me and my boys rocking a few backpacks.

NoMoreEvil
NoMoreEvil
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady b

That’s how I feel too, Lady B. I traveled a lot with my XH and instead of truly enjoying being with me, unbeknownst to me at the time, he was making secret texts/calls to OW from public bathrooms and wishing he was there with Schmoopie instead of me. Like you, I really pray someday to have a man who would rather be with me than anywhere else or with anyone else in the world and that we will both mutually and completely enjoy each other’s company.

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

This is on a smaller scale but about three weeks into the attempt at reconciliation, we took the kids on a family outing to the amusement park. Our kids are older so we sent them off on their own and STBX and I spent most of the day alone together having a generally good time. At the end of the day he said he had had a good time.

Two days later the evil bitch sent him an invite to go to a movie with her and it was all over. Suddenly he just couldn’t stand to be my husband anymore and he just had to move out. I thought we were making slow progress, then bam!

kmanning
kmanning
6 years ago

My ex did the very ostentatious and deliberate removing of his wedding ring when he would go out on his “adventures.” He made sure to leave it on the kitchen counter so that I wouldn’t miss it.

I get it, you’re cheating.

My regret is that I didn’t find ChumpLady until I was in the divorce process; my salvation is that I did find her and Chump Nation.

cheaterssuck
cheaterssuck
6 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

After three years of wreckconciliation, I told ex I wanted a divorce in the fall. He begged me to stay through the holidays; apparently so he could date.

One of the times he “was out late after work” he put his wedding ring in his pants pocket and forgot it was there when he put said pants in the washing machine for the wife appliance to launder. I put the load in the dryer and younger son (who was an adult but still living at home) needed to dry his load of laundry so he emptied the laundry from the dryer to a basket and his dad’s ring fell out of his pants. He put his dad’s wedding band on the kitchen counter and went to work.

I was the first one up in the morning and I thought my ex was staging a big scene to let me know he was no longer wearing his wedding band when I saw it sitting on the counter. Ex however was just as surprised as I was to see it there and proceeded to ask me how it got there. Of course I had no idea but since there was only one other person living in the house, I put together what happened pretty quickly. I asked my son about it at work and he told me he did indeed find the ring in the dryer with a bunch of his dad’s jeans. (shocking I know!)

Later that evening the ex told me he figured out that the “ring fell off when he was folding his laundry and it must have fallen in the basket where our younger son found it.” He didn’t know I already talked to son.

Why ask me to stay through the holidays if you’re just going to date while I’m still living at home? Oh yeah…he’s a psycho!

Chumpinrecovery
Chumpinrecovery
6 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

Mine removed the wedding ring too before DDay. At first I thought he might have taken it off for a good reason and forgotten to put it back on. Then I thought it might have been irritating him in some way (well it was, but not in the way I thought). Eventually I saw it as a statement about our marriage and about a week before DDay I picked it up and hid it to see if he would notice.

Well apparently he did notice because he asked for it back on DDay. He wore it for a few more months, but then took it off when I went to visit my family’s vacation property while my parents were there because I needed emotional support. We had also gotten married there. He gave me the ring and told me to keep it somewhere special in the vacation house. He probably thought he was being all sentimental and all, but it hurt like heck. He was basically asking me to put the ring somewhere thousands of miles away where it would be nearly impossible to retrieve. The message was unmistakable.

JeepTess
JeepTess
6 years ago

satan said his broke…wore it for 29 years, never a problem with it…then, damn, it just snapped and broke…huh…caught it on a (ho) nail, I guess.

Supreme Chump
Supreme Chump
6 years ago
Reply to  JeepTess

One of exh’s OW stole his wedding ring. He took it off and when he was in the shower she took it. Can you imagine him looking for the ring and her watching it all? Can you imagine how much this sick shitsack was getting off on that? Nothing but a sick cunt. But it was my scumbag ex who opened the door for her to do that.

JeepTess
JeepTess
6 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

Supreme Chump:)

Yep!

Now when satan gets through to me bout ‘:( try dealing with wanting you in my life :(‘ I’m like ………..

πŸ™‚

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  kmanning

Mr. Sparkles played the “remove the ring” game too. He even went so far as to want a new wedding ring because he had lost weight and his was becoming loose. By the time he left, he had 3 wedding rings on his nightstand.

Fuckers.

Chumpette
Chumpette
6 years ago

Sad Sausage’s ring was too tight, but he didn’t want a replacement because it wouldn’t be the same.

Lothos
Lothos
6 years ago

This is an interesting question.

Two things stick out in my mind. First it was a Blue Tooth sound box that she got from her affair partner. She swore someone else gave it to her and when I asked again several months later the story changed again. She would constantly play music at the house with it when I was home.

Second one is when we were talking about separating she was talking to me about sex and it sounded as if she was comparing me to someone else. Considering we been married for 13 years I did not know what to say or how to react.

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Yeah, mine said something creepy after sex once, too, which on the surface sounded complimentary, but raised the hairs on the back of my neck because it seemed as if it was based on a recent comparison to someone. D-day happened a few months later.

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago
Reply to  Tempest

Umm mine used her name while having sex with me. Didn’t dawn on me until I found out about the affair a few months later, fucking gross.

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Lady b

Ugh, Lady B, that is awful. shudder

Notchumpedforlife
Notchumpedforlife
6 years ago
Reply to  Lothos

Definitely know that feeling. Every time he talked to me about sex to show me how not up to snuff I was I got that feeling too that he was comparing. One time he outright said to me what’s-her-fuck was the best he ever had.

AlohaFreedom
AlohaFreedom
6 years ago

We have 3 children, all born within 2.5 years. When our middle daughter was 4 days old (and the oldest 14 months) I was standing at the sink washing dishes when someone knocked at the door. It was one of my stbxh coworkers with her infant daughter. Stbxh had invited her over to meet our newborn without my knowledge. She held my newborn. They laughed and joked and flirted while I nursed a newborn and cared for a 1 year old. She was mistress #1 of 7 (I am sure there are more but I only have proof of 7.)

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  AlohaFreedom

“ONLY have proof of 7″… thank God you are away from that hot mess AlohaFreedom. Hang in there!

It'sNotJustMe
It'sNotJustMe
6 years ago

Mine, in an effort to inspire me to pickme dance faster, faster, faster, would compare his affair partners to me. Not want me to wear a certain scent if it reminded him of her, blatantly tell me where he was going when he left the house to go to one of them. I ate a lot of shit before I finally had enough and separated and filed. Now I’m a week and a half away from my divorce date, and CL has a lot to do with that!

Cupcake
Cupcake
6 years ago
Reply to  It'sNotJustMe

Wow he was so disrespectful. It is amazing and wonderful that your self esteem survived, how crushing he was trying to be. Kudos for getting out, you are so strong!!!!

pregnant chump
pregnant chump
6 years ago

The worst (to my knowledge) my cheater did was to take me to lunch with my mum and son at the pub they both work at. OW wasn’t waiting our table but she came up at the end of the meal and asked if we had enjoyed it etc. I suspected something could be going on with them but he denied it (Pregnant chump she is only 19, said in a very condescending way) I didn’t want to believe someone would do that to their pregnant wife. He also took me and DS there for new year whilst he was working. This was 4 days before d-day. OW wasn’t there but he was acting like a loving husband and father, and then 4 days later he walks out on his marriage and family.

FedupChump
FedupChump
6 years ago
Reply to  pregnant chump

What a dick. How are you doing? I hope you are able to eat and sleep properly. The stress a cheater causes can be debilitating.
I can attest to the stress having minimal long term effects on baby and, despite a low birth weight (5lb12oz), my little girl (10 months now) is perfect and so happy! I was worried about the effects of high stress on my pregnancy. And I wanted to share with you, that everything turned out fine, in case that was a concern for you.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
6 years ago

Skanky lurked at my father-in-law’s wake. She sat in the far corner, all gussied up as though she was at a night club for my husband while the mourners filed by the casket and on to us, FIL’s family.

Some telling signs: when I tried numerous times to stand by my husband to receive the mourners with him, he suddenly had to “help his mother” or “check on our kids.” Looking back, me next to him probably screwed with his narrative to Skanky that I was a cold-hearted bitch who couldn’t stand him.

Most telling though, was when I walked over to Skanky because she had been sitting all alone in the back corner of the funeral home, and I didn’t want her to feel unwelcome. As I introduced myself and extended my hand, suddenly X was on us like white on rice.

The next day, she lurked in the back of the church. As we left the church behind the casket, X refused to hold my hand, and would not walk with me. Skanky showed up again at the reception at my sister in laws house. As I hugged my husband during a private moment in the kitchen, suddenly he shoved me away, as if I was on fire. As I turned to walk away from the blatant yet confusing rebuff, there was Skanky, throwing daggers at me.

He must have had a lot of mansplaining to do that night, because he never came home to me and his grieving sons until the next day. His excuse? His mother couldn’t be alone.

When I took his mother out the next week to the hairdressers, she told me she had spent the night of the funeral at my sister in law’s house. So yeah, X used his mother’s grief as an excuse to fuck around.

What a prize ole Skanky caught! In the catching herpes kind of caught.

Anita
Anita
6 years ago

Skanky. I love that…

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago

CandL,
Even though it is fun Friday, your post makes me feel very sad, ( I know the whole cheating thing is so sad).
You did all the loving, spouse supporting things, that a loving spouse does and your cheater treated you with such disrespect.
I hope your fil was a good person. You also showed loving support by being there for your children and the rest of the family.
You, CandL acted with dignity and grace.

My cheater did not support me during the illness of my Mom and my Dad. He did not attend either the visitation or the funeral for both my parents.
I am saddened and even feel embarrassed to tell CN this.
It is something I have forgiven, but will never forget.

Even sadder is that I felt a certain relief that he wasn’t there as he did not like my family and I never knew what he would say or how he would act.

Being a peacekeeper, I just can’t understand how people can’t treat each other with love and respect.
I am so naive that way.

Chumps of CN you are mighty.
Your posts all touch my heart and I am so sorry for your pain.
In my eyes each one of you is Mighty!

FicoChump
FicoChump
6 years ago

I already knew about Mr. Cheaters & Whore nation but playing dumb. I looked on one of his whore’s fb page her fav movie was “Serendipity”. Mr. Cheaters Pants bought the movie and was watching it all weekend, and over and over. Then downloaded the movie on his IPad.

Me: “Mr. CP, I was under the impression you did not like romantic movies because they Are “cheese”❓.
Mr. CP: “For some reason this is the only movie that I was able to download “faster” ?!! (business/whore trip)
❀️#psychoromantic
? Sandwich any one❓

RobinLee
RobinLee
6 years ago
Reply to  FicoChump

Ouch! My ex loved that movie, too!

Chumpette
Chumpette
6 years ago
Reply to  FicoChump

That movie is horrid

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
6 years ago

OW#1 – nothing at the time, to my knowledge. In retrospect, he shit all over our family to do it… because the primary places they got it on? All places our tiny children and I went all.the.time, to the park across the street from our townhouse. Massive park with the library, senior/community center/police station in a building down the center. Two ponds with trails around it; one for swans and one for fishing. Benches and grottos and little falls with pussywillows and tall grasses. Sports fields and baseball diamonds for all the children’s leagues. A playground and ice cream place. Fireworks and festivals.

They got busy on damn near every place one could possibly lean/sit/lay on… including the dugouts. While we were across the street, sleeping and unaware. Pigs. That was SUPER fun: being triggered heavily all day because that park was where our life with small children was based around. Story time? A walk? Playground? Feed the swans/ducks/geese? Birthday party? Ice cream on a hot, beautiful night? Concert/movie in the amphitheatre? Fishing? All then spent with watered eyes and sore throat (“allergies” I told people because I looked a hot mess)… I’m surprised I didn’t get throat cancer from having to choke down so hard every damn day, all day.

OW#2 – she was older and more tepid. He wasn’t. Still, she felt some sort of guilt – as it is – and bought us all Christmas ornaments and gifts. She gave us her daughter’s hand-me-downs and toys. Once I found out, I launched myself upstairs like an effing rocket, tore every shred of clothing from the drawers and dirty laundry basket, and burned them and her little gifts in the fire pit. When Christmas came (5 months later) and I opened the ornament box, it was all I could do to not chuck out the whole crate. I gingerly removed each ornament (huge, feathery angels with faux pearls and gems all over them and a few others), threw them on the walkway outside, smashed them to pieces with a hammer, then set it all ablaze. I made sure to do it when Cheater would be there to watch my fury. And, as expected, he was frozen and couldn’t leave even though he wanted to. Bastard.

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
6 years ago

And this park thing was such a huge deal because… Cheater HATED going there with us. I would literally beg. Even though it was across.the.damn.street. He said it was boring. (Hello? We have a newborn, 1, and 2 year olds… take a fucking walk with us twice a week and suck it up. He’d plaster a smile on his face but you could see the resentment, just stone-walling us all. The affair went on from the pregnancy of our 1st through when the third was almost 1 year old. I wonder how he explained what an unaffectionate, uncaring bitch I was while I was pregnant with and nursing 3 children born within 27 months, start finish. Asshole.)

paula
paula
6 years ago

This park post made my stomach knot on your behalf. Swear, as I read the list of the brutal and endless triggers associated with that park, it made me spin – that sick sick sick spin – for you.

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
6 years ago
Reply to  paula

After I spent the first season of Little League looking at our son sit with his teammates on the bench he fucked that nasty, pig-whore on? That part of the pain hardened, so to speak. I’ll never get that part of my heart back… but it doesn’t hurt so viciously anymore; it’s more a bad memory. I remember the pain… I just don’t feel it.

horsesrcumin
horsesrcumin
6 years ago

I understand, insist. All of my life was tainted. Where I lived and where I relaxed. I sat on that couch every night. And couldn’t enter my son’s room for about a year. Places are important to our sense of identity and agency. Loved spaces were now wildly erratic. I lived them still, but loathed what had happened in them. It really messed with my head. And yes, you harden. And pieces of your heart are forever damaged.

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
6 years ago

Tangent: When Cheater was trying to make me look unreasonable and told me that he couldn’t have been THAT bad a father because LOOK!, he’d gone on Facebook and found 13 pictures of him smiling in the same picture as his children… I FREAKED. “You fucking bastard! I can tell you exactly how I begged you to come with us *each* of those times and for the record, I took a picture literally EVERY TIME you spent any time with them. Congratulations- you have had 13 decent moments with your kids in the past 10 years. Four of those pictures are the few times you stopped playing video games to look at what they’d done; see how ecstatic they are?! What an amazing father!”

I will say that THAT, coupled with his own rampant-cheater father (Church Minister) looking horrified that not only was he a cheater (not ideal because his dad thought I was awesome, but he understood it), but he was also a terrible father (NOT acceptable to ignore/despise your own children), Cheater did cry real tears eventually… and has been a better father. Not great but if he still has resentment, he hides it well for the children’s sakes.

unicornomore
unicornomore
6 years ago

Susan of Seattle bought him gifts he could use right under my nose…inserting herself into my home…
She got him a wallet, a tie, fancy shampoo, chinese tea with rosebuds in it.

She came to his military retirement ceremony with a fake date and sat in the second row. There was another ow from an earlier stage of cheating there too (Dee from Boston) but I didnt know any of that yet. Susan brought my daughter (then second grade) a gift to the reception after the ceremony…one of those big lollipops. Susan took some private time with my D meeting her and giving her the fucking lollipop…was setting herself up as the bonus mom.

Ive told this story many times, but for anyone who missed it…the day I learned that they were more than friends , I put the Chinese tea in the toilet and pooped on it.

FedupChump
FedupChump
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Haha! Ahhh. That’s epic, UNM.

Chumped54
Chumped54
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

Oh unicorn no more I’m sorry that you were chumped but amazing therapeutic move with the tea. I too flushed a limited edition bottle of whisky $60.00 that cheaterpants kept in our house, silly me thought he finally wasn’t a cheap ass. Texts later showed it was from the whore.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

OMG, unicornomore,
“Miss Perfect Lollipop is the name I choose for cheater’s OW, Co-Ho Worker.
I think of her every time I see those cellophane wrapped suckers near the grocery check outs. The lollipops all look so sparkly, pretty and pretty. Hmmm, which one shall I choose. I will take this one, ” Miss Perfect Loolipop!
Puke!
( I like your wording better unicornomore, now when I see them I will address them as “fucking lollipops”
yes, much more appropriate)!

FedupChump
FedupChump
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

They look pretty and delicious, but the truth is; they are full of artificial flavors, and so much sugar, they’ll rot the teeth right out of your mouth.
Pretty but disgusting. Not unlike these assholes that willingly participate in blowing up families to pieces.

Supreme Chump
Supreme Chump
6 years ago
Reply to  FedupChump

Pretty? You should see some of these shitsacks. Pretty? No. Disgusting? Yes.

Marci
Marci
6 years ago
Reply to  Supreme Chump

I had a cheating BF some years ago whose long term F***buddy kept a stash of girl-toiletries in a little box in the bathroom cupboard of his man-apartment. When we were first together, he told me she had been in his life but was now gone. I knew our relationship was time limited because I,was not interested in any guy who would use a woman, any woman, like that. I noted the stash but never mentioned it.

So, as fate would have it, one weekend I came to stay, and to my horror, I found her pink toothbrush, still damp, in a cup in the cupboard. She had clearly been there earlier in the day, even though he swore he hadn’t heard from her in months. Also, there were two large damp bath towels on the rack. I made sure I used that pink toothbrush to wipe around the toilet after I had a big dump. I put it back in the cup and left.

I almost choked later on when BF mentioned he had “run into” the old FB aand that she had contracted an e-coli infection. I just sarcastically said “probably from sucking your promiscuous dick”. Can’t remember, but that’s the last time I recall ever caring what that guy thought. These fuckers made me do things I never would have imagined in any previous life.

Peacekeeper
Peacekeeper
6 years ago
Reply to  Peacekeeper

Pretty and yummy

insistonhonesty
insistonhonesty
6 years ago
Reply to  unicornomore

I LOVE THIS. Sometimes, shitting on whore roses is MIGHTY. lol!

Notchumpedforlife
Notchumpedforlife
6 years ago

When I was pregnant with our first baby the cheater tried to convince me to name our daughter the same name as his OW, which it turns out he had been with since before our marriage and the entire duration of our marriage up to that point.

Mom Of The Good Guys
Mom Of The Good Guys
6 years ago

Oh yeah, that reminds me of something else he did!

Our daughter was born in 1982, prior to the modern era of routine ultrasound and thus finding out the gender prior to the baby’s birth. We did not know what we were having, (although I had “known” she was a girl from the third month on), and we had a boy’s name picked out, but hadn’t decided on one for a girl. He shot down every choice I suggested.

On the *way to the hospital*, he suggested this beautiful, gorgeous, breathtaking name from his culture. I immediately fell in love with it, and knew it was “THE name!”

So, Daughter is born, she’s healthy and perfect and beautiful, and I’m over the moon. Five months later, I’m going through a drawer and find letters from a girl, a daughter of friends of his parents, who obviously had a huge crush on my guy. Her name? The lovely name we’d bestowed upon our little girl!

That revelation made me cry, and if memory serves, it was at least one of the final coffin nails as regards our relationship. He was about the least trustworthy person I’ve ever known, as I have stated before, I feel bad for his current wife. She has a lot to deal with, as some information fell into my lap, and I happen to know that he has affair partners all over the country.

NotToday
NotToday
6 years ago

What is it with these assholes trying to impress Schmoopie with baby names? My husband started his affair with a close family friend when I was 6 months pregnant and continued it through the birth. We had two names we were trying to pick between, and he ended up pushing for one over the other. I agreed to go with that name, and later found out that it was the one Schmoopie preferred.

The kicker? The OW texted me after I delivered my baby and told me how much she loved the name we’d chosen.

Wildflower
Wildflower
6 years ago

The NAMING of a child. My sadistic abuser father was a source of unending trauma for our entire family…but one of the milder things he did was force my lovely mom to name me after his “first girlfriend” (she rode the bus with him to school and he probably stalked her just like he did my mom).

And my name had to be spelled *exactly* like hers “Wild Flower” not “Wilde Phlower” or any of the other versions.

He bragged about naming me that. Fighting with my mom in the hospital about my name after she just gave birth to me. But now, decades later…the name thing I’ve taken in stride since it was just over a school girl. I love my mom and like my name…… but if it had been an affair partner, I think I would have gone into a severe depression from an identity crisis.

Lady b
Lady b
6 years ago

Just blows my mind….

Eilonwy
Eilonwy
6 years ago

I’m shocked by his behavior and in absolute admiration that you aren’t currently incarcerated on a charge of spousal murder.

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
6 years ago

One of the worst ones I’ve read so far today. Please tell us you didn’t go with it!

Notchumpedforlife
Notchumpedforlife
6 years ago

Thankfully no! At the time he had convinced me she was just his close friend but my skin was crawling when he suggested it. I just said flat out no. He eventually let it go, but then I found out our cat was named her Nick name.

JesssMom
JesssMom
6 years ago

Ah, yeah — this subject is pretty high on the “suckitude” meter. πŸ™

At the end of our marriage, I discovered that my STBX:

– screwed one OW in the family car on multiple occasions
– got me a job with him several months after I gave birth to our second child (he had been screwing a co-worker the whole time he worked there … now I know why she was so mean to me from the moment I started working there)
– told me how much he liked seeing me in a leather coat and “dreamed” about us riding motorcycles together … well, the OW at that time was an official “biker bitch”
– Every time I was pregnant, he took me around OWs

It’s all so humiliating that it’s difficult to express the depth of it.

Anita
Anita
6 years ago
Reply to  JesssMom

Jess Mom, YOU should not feel humiliated for one second. The WHORES (your ex and ow) should be humiliated. Not you.

JesssMom
JesssMom
6 years ago
Reply to  Anita

Thank you for that, Anita. It didn’t even dawn on me to READ what I was typing … I can see now how sad it is that I feel that way. More than two decades of his maltreatment has definitely taken a toll. Thank goodness for therapy (and CN/CL)!

(((Hugs)))

Anita
Anita
6 years ago
Reply to  JesssMom

(((Hugs))))

Kathleen
Kathleen
6 years ago

In denial almost 2 years..one weekend told son & I he was going skiing , didn’t want to take me ( very high slopes…uh yeah). So my son & I helped him with all his ski gear in the car. I told him to he careful.. off he went.

Week later saw charge bill showing motel room in our area, restaurant we went to, gifts at mall. He ripped charge bill partially up which I glued together Finding out he lied. When confronted he said he “won” a room at party, was alone, but met friends to drink with & didn’t want to drive home drunk So he didn’t want me to know ’cause I wouldn’t understand!

Of course he was with the whore.. how stupid was I?
But eventually kicked him out & divorced him

So angry I saw red flags but was in heavy denial.
Long marriage – 34 years gone ?

pbs
pbs
6 years ago

My ex pays child support to me with checks that have photo images of his wedding to his much younger howorker. Happily for me the number he pays is large and they never bounce.

cashmere
cashmere
6 years ago
Reply to  pbs

Wow. Direct deposit, anyone?

ChutesandLadders
ChutesandLadders
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

X refuses to use direct deposit, and continues to mail child support to me. Parting with money – even for his kids is painful for him. He will not use my first name for child support checks. I had to explain every fucking time I deposited it that I am “C.” in the “C. andLadders” name. But now I can deposit it with my cell phone.

Such a prick.

pbs
pbs
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

Initially I requested direct deposit because seeing those pictures hurt like hell. The sick fucker resisted just because he is that cruel. My wonderful therapist opened my eyes to the fact that the pain caused to my greedy ex for having to part with so much cash far outweighed the pain he caused me. I actually see him clearly for the pathetic bully he is now so no more hurt feelings. And he’s getting divorced again ???

Sad Shelby
Sad Shelby
6 years ago
Reply to  pbs

OMG! That’s so awful and funny AF at the same time! ??? I like to picture him having 1,000’s of those checks for years to come with pictures of yet another failed marriage to remind him what a loser POS he is. Take that cash and draw a mustache and horns on that dirty skank’s face and laugh all the way to the bank!

pbs
pbs
6 years ago
Reply to  Sad Shelby

I wish I could post the picture. She was very young and clearly planned the dream wedding of a middle school girl. A friend of mine described the dress as “big bird meets toddlers & tiaras”?

cashmere
cashmere
6 years ago
Reply to  pbs

OMG–I automatically love your friend. ?

Meg
Meg
6 years ago
Reply to  cashmere

Me too!

ICanSeeTheMehComing!
ICanSeeTheMehComing!
6 years ago
Reply to  pbs

SO… being me… I would draw “add-on” images to him and his STBX before depositing them… maybe give him (or her) as mustache… I know I always look at my cashed checks πŸ™‚

Not very meh, I know.

Warrior Princess
Warrior Princess
6 years ago

Or add pictures of other women next to his wife-about 7 or 8…

Mom Of The Good Guys
Mom Of The Good Guys
6 years ago

You and I must be twins separated at birth, because I can sooooooooo see myself doing just that, and chuckling gleefully as I did so! ?

cashmere
cashmere
6 years ago
Reply to  pbs

Hah! So much for that sparkly check design.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago

My teenage niece. Nothing more to say, really.

David2016
David2016
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

Jesus Christ I hate these people…

LovedaJackass
LovedaJackass
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

That’s a horror show. Unbelievable, except I’ve been reading here nearly 4 years.

Tempest
Tempest
6 years ago
Reply to  Amiisfree

OMG. That is horrifying, Amiisfree. The family-fuckers are a special breed of disordered, bottom of the cheater phylogenetic scale.

Amiisfree
Amiisfree
6 years ago