Amy Robach Wants to Be Friends with Chumped Ex-Wife Marilee Fiebig

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Amy Robach wants to be friends with her boyfriend’s chumped wife. HellOooo impression management.

***

Remember T.J. Holmes and his workplace Schmoopie Amy Robach? The two ABC morning news anchors who got sh*t-canned for their affair on company time? Rohrbach wasn’t the only Other Woman, apparently, just the most persistent as evidenced by her dry humping here.

Holmes and Robach
Daily Mail tweet

Caught up? Well, Robach was back in the news this week for her dignity and self-effacing nature. No, sorry, for her slack-jawed chutzpah at demanding friendship from Holmes’ chumped ex-wife Marilee Fiebig.

Why would Amy Robach want to friends, Tracy? 

FOR THE CHILDREN, CN. Why else?

US Weekly reports:

Amy Robach is still going strong with T.J. Holmes, but things are less amicable with his ex-wife Marilee Fiebig.

“Marilee and Amy haven’t spoken since news of the affair broke,” an insider exclusively tells Us Weekly, adding that Robach, 50, is hoping to smooth things over with Fiebig, 45. “Amy wants to find a solution so she and Marilee can be at peace with each other. She knows she will have to coparent with T.J. and Marilee, so she wants to be able to coparent in a healthy way and to coparent in their new normal. Amy doesn’t want it to be perceived as her against Marilee.”

Hey, you might be a homewrecker, Amy, but you’d hate to be perceived as one. Do her a solid, Marilee, and help with that impression management why dontcha?

It’s a trap, Marilee. Just sane parent on your own and leave the nut clusters alone.

The Universal Bullshit Translator is just lolling about waiting for Lebkuchen season to begin. So, I fed that paragraph into its crushing mandibles.

“Marilee and Amy haven’t spoken since news of the affair broke,”

Amy, sensing impending obsolescence, misses her pick-me-dance centrality. Why won’t you triangulate with me, Marilee? Must I resort to tabloid magazines to rehabilitate my image?

an insider exclusively tells Us Weekly,

Amy is the insider. No, it was Scoopy McScooperson!

adding that Robach, 50, is hoping to smooth things over with Fiebig, 45.

I’d like to smooth over that whole fucking your husband behind your back and publicly humiliating you thing. I think we have the basis for a solid friendship.

“Amy wants to find a solution so she and Marilee can be at peace with each other.

A solution… Amy could go back in time and unfuck Marilee’s husband. Nope? That’s off the table? Death works. Or failing that, cold, hard no contact.

Really, the least Amy could do is shut up about “peace.” You aren’t Nelson Mandela trying to broker democracy here. You’re a sidepiece who thinks she’s a co-parent.

Not every delusion needs to be catered to. If I dress a ham up as Lady Mountbatten, it’s not a member of the aristocracy — it’s processed meat in a tiara. You needn’t curtsey.

She knows she will have to coparent with T.J. and Marilee, so she wants to be able to coparent in a healthy way and to coparent in their new normal.

She knows that all the shiny has worn off daughter Sabine, 10. Just as the shiny wore off Holmes’ first set of children, whatever their names are. Point is, someone needs to be a parent appliance. And it’s not T.J. Holmes. What better way to win his affections (DANCE! DANCE!) than performative adulting. Watch me frost a cupcake! AREN’T WE ADORABLE TOGETHER?

Amy must prove her super specialness with props. Hashtags for cheaters #healthy #newnormal

Amy doesn’t want it to be perceived as her against Marilee.

It’s totally her against Marilee. She just doesn’t wish her competitive hostility to be perceived as such.

Did you not see Amy’s instagram? With her reserved seats? SHE SITS NEXT TO HIM, Marilee! Hashtag TWU WUV. Where do you sit, Marilee? Off the throne. That’s where.

#friends #4thechildren

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HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
5 months ago

First, let me say how I adore the reserved Razorbacks seating: The perfect imagery of Robach and Holmes as two wild, rutting pigs.

Second, I will never understand how anyone can destroy a child’s family and swoop in afterward to pretend everything will not only be fine, but bigger and better! “Look, Sabine, now you have TWO mommies who love you! And TWO houses to live in! And for the rest of your life, we are ALL going to show up at everything important in your life so that you can always remember how we destroyed your life!”

The psychosis is real.

If only a tabloid would print Marilee’s response to Robach’s ‘friends’ delusion: “No f**kin’ way.”

It’s going to be even funnier in a few years when Holmes finds yet another Schmoopie and Robach has to try to generate some good press releases for how heartbroken she is.

SouthernChump
SouthernChump
5 months ago
Reply to  HunnyBadger

Running Pigs….LOL!

LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass
5 months ago
Reply to  HunnyBadger

OK, this is genius: “The perfect imagery of Robach and Holmes as two wild, rutting pigs.”

The Divine Miss Chump
The Divine Miss Chump
5 months ago
Reply to  HunnyBadger

Glad I gave away my tickets to that game …🙄

gonegirl
gonegirl
5 months ago

I think the last thing I said to Wifetress was “You’re nothing but an old wh**e and everyone knows it.” Pretty much sums it up. I have nothing to say to you, you are beneath me.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago
Reply to  gonegirl

You are my hero.

Last edited 5 months ago by Mehitable
susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  gonegirl

Yep, I still refer to her as whore rather than her name. That is all she was, and likely all she still is. FW is gone now but I am betting if there is an old man in her trailer park who will throw some “gifts” her way as a thank you for BJs, she is on it.

Whore’s get paid for what they do and she got paid plenty with marital money. In fact about the time he gambled them into bankruptcy she was wishing for me back in the triangle.

WalkawayWoman
WalkawayWoman
5 months ago

Any version of parenting or co-parenting with a disordered FW is an oxymoron, as Marilee Fiebig clearly knows.

And this insistence on performing the “happily blended family” charade doesn’t center the kids or their needs.

Ask me how I know.

Holmes and Robach are both FWs. It’s only and always about them. The kids are props.

Thank goodness Sabine has one sane parent.

Nancy
Nancy
5 months ago

Are they even married?

I’m on pins and needles over here waiting for their book on how to parent kids when you are on your third marriage. She wrote a book on how to parent with a second marriage with Andrew Shue. She can call the same agents for her publicity tour when that book is out.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago
Reply to  Nancy

This is an issue because so many FW’s APs don’t pan out as long term relationships or marriages. Even the marriages frequently don’t last. So your kids can be introduced to one set after another of step parents or live-in lovers and it’s very unhealthy and can even be dangerous for them. My mother’s step father attempted to rape her, at age 12 or so, while her mother was dying in the hospital. Unfortunately this is not as uncommon as we’d like to think and there are many lesser levels of abuse, especially psychological. I don’t think ANY custody should be awarded to the adulterous parent who leaves the marriage – children should not be exposed to this and we have to stop pretending these are happy endings.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
5 months ago
Reply to  Mehitable

There’s a growing legislative push towards criminalizing coercive control or subviolent forms of domestic abuse (psychological and emotional abuse, financial coercion, etc.). In Connecticut, California and Hawaii, offenders can lose custody. Victims can also gain orders of protection against offenders. In the UK, offenders can end up in prison (up to five years in GB and up to fifteen years in Scotland). Imagine the possibilities if it were eventually recognized that most cheaters engage in forms of coercive control to facilitate cheating. I think chumps should involve themselves in creating these laws and policies on a regional and state level and getting behind the movement to legislate coercive control.

OHFFS
OHFFS
5 months ago
Reply to  Mehitable

“I don’t think ANY custody should be awarded to the adulterous parent who leaves the marriage – children should not be exposed to this and we have to stop pretending these are happy endings.”

Yes, enough of this bullshit about how the FW didn’t leave the kids, he/she only left the spouse. As if the kids and spouse are somehow in different compartments altogether instead of it being a family unit. No, it’s the *family* you leave when you take off with an AP. The courts should not reward such sociopathic compartmentalization by giving the FW a chance to do it again with a new spousal appliance.

Conchobara
Conchobara
5 months ago
Reply to  OHFFS

Exactly, they make it very clear that they prioritize their d*cks (or other body parts) over their families. My FW was bailing on family events, weekends, and evenings (usually coming home after our daughter was asleep) and even hooked up with someone while we were on our family vacation. How, precisely, is that only about me and my failings?

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
5 months ago
Reply to  Nancy

Practice makes perfect, right? I’m sure her credibility goes up every time she marries.

Orlando
Orlando
5 months ago

@marileefiebig wrote on Instagram “I pick my friends like I pick my flowers…wild and real and beautifully full of life”. Amy Robach, doesn’t meet the “real” part of Marilee’s friendship definition, nor the beautiful (of heart), nor the wild (unique)….so it sounds like Marilee is above Amy on so many levels. I doubt there will be any friendship. But she might be pressured by old T.J. there to fake it for “the children”. I hope Marilee finds her way here.

Last edited 5 months ago by Orlando
Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
5 months ago
Reply to  Orlando

Hmm, I think Marilee made herself very, very clear with that post. There will be no detente lol.

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
5 months ago

Yet more performative BS from a Cheater desperate to engage in some proactive impression management before the narrative gets even further away from her.

I’ve never met, spoken to or communicated in any way with Ex-Mrs LFTT’s AP and that’s just the way I like it. And, despite the kids being only 11, 16 and 18 when Ex-Mrs LFTT left us, I’ve never had to co-parent with him, as the kids wanted (and still want 8 years later) nothing to do with him.

LFTT

MotherChumperNinetyNine
MotherChumperNinetyNine
5 months ago

Same here. I just finished raising my youngest. She’s happily at uni 1100 miles away. The day she turned 18 I breathed a massive sign of relief. After I said GTFO 8 years ago XH tried to mess with us, but I kept grey rock and fought for and won full custody but I was always worried he’d try to inject himself back in our lives.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago

Agreed. I never did the friends thing with either of the fuckwits. It helped that our son was grown, and I worked totally locked away from the world, then moved to another state to follow my job. I ran into them at our grandsons HS graduation, I did the nod and keep moving. I did attend a birthday skating party for our two grandchildren (their birthdays are close together. At that event my new guy (now husband) and I just sat at a table, talked to the kids, watched them skate for a few minutes and never even went near Romeo and Juliet. At my granddaughters HS graduation, we sat in the row in front of the Fwits, and aside from a cursory nod, never even looked back.

It felt natural, and really wasn’t awkward at all. At least not for me.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago

I can’t imagine having to live my “pain” out in public like this. Chumps have nothing to be ashamed of. The FWs and APs are the ones who SHOULD be embarrassed. But I often feel tremendous embarrassment all the same. For me it’s so crazy because on the one hand, I don’t want to shout from the rooftops that he is an abusive cheater, I don’t want the world knowing every detail of the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

But I also cringe thinking that those who don’t know the whole story might just assume well…anything. (that I am a harpy or frigid or both) I have had to just keep reminding myself that the people close to me know the truth, and it simply doesn’t matter what outliers think. I have enough on my plate.

But back this post. I cannot even imagine being the chump wife, and having the entire world privy to the breakdown of my marriage, and having to see photos published of the OW dry humping my exFW on a public street in broad daylight, only to then have the OW go to the press to talk about how SHE wants to put all this behind “us”. It’s truly amazing the level of audacity these people have.

Then it falls on the chump to “think of the children”. And I get it, we DO have to think of the children.

But if only the FW thought of the children BEFORE they cheated. The fact that the FWs make these messes and the Chumps are the ones that have to do all the damage control in the aftermath is just the ultimate shit sandwich.

And in this case, maybe DON’T dry hump your new bf in the street and post pics of your reserved seating? Rubbing Marilee’s face in it is not going to be helpful in future co-parenting endeavors. (I recognize that when it comes to celebs, they may have paparazzi around and not know it, but come on! That dry humping photo is so over the top. It looks like what a drunk teen would do at a house party, not two adults that are trying to lay low)

Also, because I am feeling petty: I look forward to the news coverage when one of them cheats on the other. We already know he’s a serial cheater, so it will likely be him. Let’s see how Amy enjoys the leaked photos.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

To me most of us live our pain out in public. It is not as huge a public as celebs, but in my case everyone in our circle knew, it was a very public mess which even involved local media. That was every bit as much public to me as any celeb. It was my whole world that crashed. I remember walking into our local grocery store and have the employees look at me with that sideways look of pity mixed with curiosity.

I think we all have our lives and unless the fw is able to pull off a coo, every one in our lives knows.

To me it is pretty much the same, except for most of us we don’t have a large financial cushion to soften the landing.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

That large cushion made of money solves a LOT of the issues that us mere mortals have to deal with for sure. I’m sure that betrayal hurts even if you are loaded. But most chumps end up less financially stable post divorce. Some worse off than others. A boatload of money can make a big difference in that aspect. $100k would solve MANY problems I am facing. That’s a lot of money to most, but a drop in the bucket to a celeb.

I know quite a bit about your story from this site, and for you, yes, your situation was as public as any celeb’s for sure. Maybe worse because in a small community, that scandal might be the most “interesting” thing to happen in years. Whereas celeb cheating stories get replaced by new ones daily.

It’s interesting because I saw these photos in the tabloids and felt like the chumps were humiliated in front of the “world”. But I suppose like you said, we all have our world. It’s not a thing in my town because it’s a large place and I don’t know many neighbors at all. And the schmoop was long distance, so she wasn’t cavorting ’round my territory with my husband. But our friends, acquaintances, families, his co-workers and my co-workers ..they all know. It’s not that different than these 2 clowns in the news.

Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

One wrinkle in the idea that more money solves more problems for victims is an issue I ran into as an advocate for survivors of DV, namely that “rich” victims who are trying to escape rich abusers are fucked in precise proportion to the perp’s wealth. The richer the perp, the more dangerous because absolute power corrupts absolutely. Hugely wealthy abusers can basically buy themselves endless flying monkey enforcers (including police) to stalk, harass and make life hell for their victims.

Statistically, very “wealthy” (at least on paper) victims don’t tend to reach out for help to DV resources for this reason. The more money involved, sometimes the bigger the hostage crisis. One of the most effective tools of coercion for rich perpetrators– short of committing murder and getting away with it (more often than anyone knows)– is taking custody of children. Every unfair advantage in society– wealthy, whiteness, even attractiveness and charm– become very double edged when it comes to escaping abuse.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

I meant pull off a quiet coup.

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

The thing all Chumps should say is this: “I have been thinking of what’s good for the kids the whole time. I was keeping their lives intact while FW was in a cheap hotel with Schmoopie. I was there helping them through the dark days of being disoriented and heartbroken while FW was choosing an apartment and new stemware with the garden tool he/she left them for. I was crawling over broken glass to carry the kids safely on my back while FW and Schmoopers were announcing their twuu wuv on social media. I have been doing what’s best for the kids this entire time!”

The “do what’s best for the kids” part needs to happen before the affair, not as mandatory extra work on the part of the Chump afterward.

2xchump
2xchump
5 months ago

It was 28 years before I said more than 3 consecutive words to OW wifetress…yes they stayed married. I broke my silence at my daughter’s wedding and went up to her at the gift opening at my new Son in laws house. I thanked her for taking care of my 2 kids all these years. I felt it was time for me to let her off the hook I’d hooked her on. Forgiveness, you know.Just my kind chumpy heart and hey, it’s a wedding. She’s the OW who poached my willing husband during my unknown pick Me- dance pregnancy (baby – now bride). What she said to me? She reviewed all the things she and my XWusband had done for my kids ALL THESE YEARS. She was now worthy of the prize. Near my left arm was a platter of Fresh vegetables and dip. As I listened I started to shove carrots, broccoli 🥦 and cauliflower into my mouth to keep me from saying what came to my mind. After 10.min of listening to ALL SHE DID for MY children, my mouth was all torn up from stuffing my cheeks with raw & sharp things. It was a pitiful moment that stays with me to this day 7 years later. I wish I had stayed in my seat. I don’t recommend breaking the silence
It was there for a reason. Cheater are still central. Don’t do it!

Mehitable
Mehitable
3 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

edit

Last edited 3 months ago by Mehitable
Hell of a Chump
Hell of a Chump
5 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

I adore you for being so generous and a too-good-for-this-horrible-world type of person even if your generosity was wasted on pigs. I’m not that sweet or generous. You would be perfectly adapted to a perfect world whereas I would have to file down a lot of sharp edges if the world ever became perfect. Never be ashamed of how beautiful you are deep down, even if you’ve had to adjust and gain a few defenses to survive. Not your fault the world sucks.

KatiePig
KatiePig
5 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

Wow, what a horrible bitch.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

This is a good example of why APs whether they marry or not, should never be forgiven for destroying the family. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. Because they are not sorry for it, and they do not deserve forgiveness. You again showed what a kind soul you are, but….no one like that should ever get that side of you. They will never deserve it and they’ll just use it as another opportunity to shit on the Chump. Their hatred and insecurity about destroying that marriage……never goes away. It actually doesn’t. That’s why she had to spend 10 minutes pumping up what a good person she is when she’s just a piece of shit.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago
Reply to  2xchump

ooof. That’s a tough one. She wanted a cookie for being good to your kids. Kids whose father left them for her. The bar is so low it’s in hell.

tallgrass
tallgrass
5 months ago

“leave the nut clusters alone.” Rocking it as usual, Chumplady! Thank you for the snark in just the right dosage. Have a good day!

MotherChumperNinetyNine
MotherChumperNinetyNine
5 months ago

Amy is a total c*nt. She can go fuck right off. Marilee, if you’re here (and I hope you are) keep no contact. You never wanted to be part of this club, but there’s some pretty great people who are. You’re going to get through this and be ok— look at McKenzie (formerly Bezos) as inspiration. AP and FW will always suck. You don’t.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago

I wonder if anyone here can contact her and get her to start reading the site.

Josh McDowell
Josh McDowell
5 months ago

“She knows she will have to coparent with T.J. and Marilee, so she wants to be able to coparent in a healthy way and to coparent in their new normal.”

Eat the sandwich, loser…You’re a bad person if you don’t go along with it.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago

I did a quick look and it appears Roback is still legally married to Shew. What is wrong with that nutcase. If she had any self respect or two brain cells to rub together she would sit down and shut up, and hope her “fans” have short memories. I suspect most of them do.

laushell22
laushell22
5 months ago

Andrew Shue and Amy Robach cheated on their former spouses and divorced to be together. I have seen evidence elsewhere that Marilee Fiebig was the Other Woman during TJ’s first marriage. More evidence that how you get them is how you’re gonna lose them. No one is special to a cheater, they are always on the hunt for a new prize. I have sympathy only for the poor kids who have such selfish, self-obsessed parents.

Conchobara
Conchobara
5 months ago
Reply to  laushell22

I wondered if he cheated with Marilee; I thought I’d seen something like that. So I’ll reserve my empathy for the good chumps, not those who got their just desserts for their own actions.

theydidntdie
theydidntdie
5 months ago
Reply to  laushell22

On the contrary, there’s no evidence Ms. Fiebig was the other woman. It’s been debunked by people who know both couples that perpetual cheater TJ Holmes was unfaithful while dating Chili (from the group TLC) — but this occurred two years before he met Marilee Fiebig. I suspect it’s Amy Robach started those rumors as an equalization strategy.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago
Reply to  laushell22

So she lost him the way she got him. That’s so often true.

thrive
thrive
5 months ago

🤣😂 “if I dress up a ham…no need to curtsy.” Comedy gold! Hugs CN. Hold your ground. It gets easier, then it gets better.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago

It’s all about let’s make the ugly go away and we’ll pretend we’re all friends and just cover shit up. SOOOOOO UNHEALTHY….not just for Chumps but for everyone, including the children. If there’s one thing I keep hammering away at, because I experienced it as a child as many did in dysfunctional families, it is so important that children know the truth, in an age appropriate way, of what their parents are like – BOTH parents – and what their family situation is….and WHY IT IS. They should not be obligated to make friends or rely on the enemy of their family who helped shattered their home. In fact, they shouldn’t have to visit them AT ALL. All our modern idea about divorce, especially where adultery is concerned, are defective and destructive and reward cheating and other family destroying practices.

I don’t know any of these people CL is citing but I do know that the injured wife in this case, Marlee?, has absolutely no reason to be friends or friendly or to me, even civil (which I would NOT be) to this evil woman. She has no reason to injure herself further, or to help her children, who were victimized by this woman, to get along with her or with FW. Kids need to know age appropriate truths, and Chumps first need is to protect and nurture THEMSELVES AND THEIR KIDS. Not cater to some OW/OM piece of trash. I hope she doesn’t allow herself to be badgered into this.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago

I think once again we see, that it doesn’t matter if you’re rich, or beautiful, or famous, or talented…..you too can be a Chump. For all the people who feel insecurity about themselves and their looks or bodies or personalities or jobs, etc….again look at all these famous people who get cheated on and abandoned. It’s very common in those circles (famous people seem to be very dysfunctional in general). Anyone can be a Chump – don’t let this terrible thing make you fee less about yourself.

KatiePig
KatiePig
5 months ago

Yeah, this is typical. I actually got kicked out of a group of so called feminists shortly after being brutally dumped because they explained to me that my ex-husband’s mistresses owed me nothing since they made no vows to me so I had no right to be angry at them, even the ones I’d known for years and thought were my friends. But then they turned around and told me I owed these women respect and sisterhood. I asked when I had vowed sisterhood and respect to them and why I owed them anything when they owed me nothing and I was banned from the group immediately. It was shocking enough that several women contacted me and asked if I had really just been blocked for that and when I told them yes and they raised an issue with it, they were blocked as well.

I don’t know why this attitude is so common. Mistresses are magical women who can do whatever nasty things they want to other women and owe them NOTHING but wives are inferior women who owe prostitutes and devious, lying “friends” and women with no morals who harm their families the utmost respect. It makes no goddamn sense and I simply won’t tolerate people who think like this for even a moment.

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

You should have countered that ‘feminist’ logic with actual logic:

  1. Real women on equal footing understand not to poach someone’s husband. That ‘sisterhood’ thing goes both ways, and therefore it not empower women in any way whatsoever to do or tolerate reprehensible behavior.
  2. The fault always lies with the person who aided or abetted wrong. Victim blaming helps no one,
  3. Empowering women doesn’t mean always blaming men.
  4. Any genuine sisterhood will encourage raising the bar for all women, not lowering standards of accountability,

But in the end, they negated themselves with their own ‘logic.’ To say “she wasn’t married to you so she owed you nothing” also means that you weren’t married to her and owe her nothing…not respect, not ‘sisterhood’, not even vague tolerance. Society has rules and boundaries for a reason, and everyone — even children — need to respect them.

Velvet Hammer
Velvet Hammer
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

People who are screwing around with someone in a committed relationship and participating in deceiving their partner are equally guilty of harming the deceived partner To think the secret double life participants who knowingly participate have immunity is absurd.

That means paid professionals or voluntary side pieces.

It has nothing to do with vows. It has everything to do with having good boundaries, ethics, integrity, emotional maturity, psychological health, and moral bankruptcy.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

the she (ow) owes you nothing so you must treat her with respect bull shit is tripe uttered by adultery apologists.

And I agree, bitch owed me nothing, so there for I owed her nothing and nothing is what she got.

We had some dumb bitch who called herself/himself side snatch, sideview or something like that that jumped on here and with 2 page long posts, started lecturing chumps on how to treat whores with respect. It even included links to I assume the Ester Perels of the under belly of therapists.

I only read the first few sentences of one of it’s posts and never read another. I assume no one else did either as it gave up and left.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

This “trend” of telling chumps that the AP doesn’t owe you anything etc is an over-correction.

Apologies to chumps that were cheated on by women but this topic leans gender-specific… Historically, a huge amount of scorn was dumped on the “OW” while the husband involved was treated as if he tripped and landed with his #$% in her, or he was “ensnared” etc. For a very, very long time, cheating men faced so much less scorn than the women they cheated with. *

I think the pendulum has swung too far back in the other direction. Now everyone wants to say “why isn’t the married guy getting more of the flack?” What I do see is people posting to forums like Reddit about cheating spouses, and it’s interesting, you’ll see this chump who has taken some kind of revenge on the OW. And then people ask “well, you did that to AP, what did you do to your FW?” and you’ll find out that she is working things out with the FW. A large number of people will respond and say, “if you outed the AP at their workplace (or whatever), but are working things out with your FW, you are an asshole. The FW is the one who truly betrayed you. They owed you loyalty. They took the vows, not the AP”.

I tend to agree with it to an extent. I think for me, it’s a matter of equality. You can’t hold the AP more responsible than your partner. That is crazy. But they lose me when they start defending the AP. IF the AP knew your spouse was married, and continued anyway, they are garbage. They are not well within their rights just because they didn’t take a vow with you. I saw one where the husband cheated with his wife’s SISTER and these lunatics were still saying the sister didn’t owe the wife anything. That is ridiculous.

*I’m no anthropologist but I wonder if the trope of the OW being a siren that lures married men to their ruin is related to the fact that not that long ago, divorce was not a valid option for women. Women had so few rights that marriage was not optional but a necessity. In those times, it would be a lot easier mentally to hate the OW and think it was all her fault, because you needed to stay with your cheating FW of a husband to survive.

FYI_
FYI_
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

I really wish CL would address this in a post — “the AP didn’t take any vows and therefore didn’t cheat and is not to blame.” It’s crazy and immoral.

HunnyBadger
HunnyBadger
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

I’m neither an anthropologist nor a theologian, but the idea of women being sirens quite literally harkens back to the origins of mankind. (I promise not to give you my full discussion on the deeper symbolic meaning of the first chapters of Genesis).

In short, the current mindset of western manhood is rooted in a myopic view of Adam, Eve and the loss of Paradise. Today’s attitude is that the fault lies with Eve who ate the apple then tempted man, who ate it too. I promise you, at the root of virtually all western male thinking, lies the premise of the hapless, innocent man being tempted beyond his ability to resist. This is where sailors developed their myth of the Sirens who coaxed them to their deaths. This is where men (the bad ones, the weak ones) got the idea that they should go the prostitutes, then hate them.

I am the mother of five sons and one daughter. I have been absolutely adamant that they understand the true, larger implications of behavior in Genesis:

  1. Eve did, indeed, eat the apple she was told not to eat, and then she took it back and Adam agreed and ate it too.
  2. Of the two of them, Adam was the only one who had heard the instructions from God directly. Adam knew, without defense, what not to do. Despite this, he chose to do it anyhow.
  3. God doesn’t blame Eve half as much as he blames Adam. (“Dude, we talked about this in pretty good detail but you went ahead and took the bite. Why??”)
  4. Being made head, to now rule over Eve, was a punishment to Adam, not a reward. It was not to belittle or make Eve less than Adam, it was God telling Adam, “Now you’ve got to grow up and bear responsibility, junior. If Eve makes bad choices, I will henceforth hold YOU responsible.”

Fast forward several thousand years, and most western males only recount the most surface lesson: men are helpless when women beckon, so what else can they do but blame the women?

And that concept is not what Genesis teaches.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago
Reply to  HunnyBadger

HoneyBadger,

Excellent post.

I find it so disheartening to read the posts in other places where I see many people commenting on infidelity. There are plenty of Chump-approved takes. But also so many that are just not great. A lot of people really and truly give the APs a complete free pass, “they are single and owe you nothing”. Ummm..I don’t think the OW in my story owes me anything. But she knew he was married with young kids and participated in his secret double life for years. She’s not some innocent bystander just because she didn’t take any vows. She’s an asshole whose behavior actively helped to cause me harm. Pardon me if I have ill will towards her.

My only explanation is that the one’s who truly give the APs a full pass MUST be APs themselves. Or they are just idiots blindly following the latest trend without actually understanding it. The feminists that ousted KatiePig are a prime example, they tell her the APs owe her nothing, but that SHE owes them “sisterhood”? That’s utter idiocy.

I do have some hope. CL is blazing a trail, and she’s not the only one. With time more people will start to see that infidelity is abuse, and hopefully the tides will turn. Everything moves so slowly, but already there are more chances for a freshly-minted Chump to find CN first, before finding all the RIC-centric BS. The more of that, the better.

KatiePig
KatiePig
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

The problem with this type of “over correction” is that it makes our society worse and harms both men and women. It’s like saying, “men have been fucking teenage girls for hundreds of years, therefore women should start fucking teenage boys.” To a moron, that looks like equality but it actually makes our society worse and is damaging to everyone since it’s just more children being fucked.

Or, “I’d like rape against women to stop but I’ll settle for more men being raped to make it fair.” NO! That makes society worse. More rape is always bad, even if it seems more “equal.”

The over correction bullshit is monstrous, including in the case of excusing the OW or attempting to lessen her consequences for her actions. A man being able to escape the consequences he deserves does not mean that women should be given a free pass to also escape consequences. This makes our society worse, not better. Everybody becoming a piece of shit may be equality but it is not a type we should ever strive for.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  SortofOverIt

My fw’s whore was definitely not a siren, she was just a garden variety low life just like fw. Unfortunately, he played the part of solid citizen and good husband, at least until someone dropped a dime. I wish they had dropped it long before they did, but they didn’t aske me my opinion.

LookingForwardsToTuesday
LookingForwardsToTuesday
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

KP,

Someone once described marriage as a social contract with a set of rules, expectations and boundaries that define the relationship. If your former group accept this, then I would argue that they should accept two things: firstly, that the parties to the marriage are required to avoid behaviours that undermine it and, secondly; other members of society are required to avoid knowingly behaving in a manner that undermines it either. I think that this puts APs firmly on the hook; they may not have broken any explicit vow to you, but they certainly failed to meet society’s expectations or abide by the rules/boundaries of the social contract.    
 
Also, your former group can fuck off, just because.

LFTT

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
5 months ago
Reply to  KatiePig

Were any of the mistresses married? That can sidestep the whole question of whether they had any responsibility towards you. If so, it’s pretty clear the group just doesn’t value fidelity in marriage and it has nothing to do with the role of the mistress per se.

This is my XW’s attitude – that feminism means women now get to act in all the shitty ways that men have been acting for ages – but I wouldn’t want to lump anyone in with her unwarrantedly.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago

I don’t think being a single whore makes a whore any better than a married whore.

Involuntary Georgian
Involuntary Georgian
5 months ago
Reply to  susie lee

No? Neither is a great look, but surely two sins are worse than one?

I do remember contemplating this question in the early days. But then I found out that XW’s AP was married so she (and he) were getting the two-for-one adultery special and I concluded I didn’t need to parse it too finely. I suppose I should acknowledge my privilege here: not everyone can have an over-achieving ex like mine, so others will need to decide their position on first- vs second-person adultery in a way that I never needed to.

SortofOverIt
SortofOverIt
5 months ago

I think it’s hard to quantify “worse” once you are already talking about some seriously shitty behavior. But I still concede that 2 married people having an affair is worse than if only one is married. A single AP isn’t somehow any less of a FW, but I think if someone is married and they cheat with someone else who is married, now they are mucking up MORE lives. Heaven forbid both marriages also involve kids.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago

I have always thought of the sin of adulterers even if one of them is single as equal. Sin aside even in the secular world I hold both as lying con artists. The single one in the mix in order to keep it quiet is not only lying by omission, but she/he is lying to friends and co workers. Otherwise they wouldn’t be able to keep it quiet for so long.

OHFFS
OHFFS
5 months ago

What a horrid creature. The nerve of her assuming she gets to co-parent with her victim. No, bitch, it’s called parallel parenting, and you aren’t part of it. Unfortunately, your fuckwitted manthingy is.
The utter gall of her to try to publically shame the chump into helping her to rehabilitate her image is astounding.
This OW and FW are such garbage that as soon as I got my settlement from FW, I’d be sorely tempted to change my identity (and the same for the kids) and run off to the other side of the planet, changing my appearance as well, in hopes of keeping my kids away from both of those disordered scumbags.

Last edited 5 months ago by OHFFS
Chumpasaurus45
Chumpasaurus45
5 months ago

This irrelevant Amy character is quite a piece of work. What a shame for the kids involved is all I truly see here. To have this serial cheating loser, TJ and wild, humping Amy influencing these childrens’ lives on any level is a terrible travesty for the kids.
They are both the highest level of trash there is.
If I were Marilee, I would ignore Amy as if she doesn’t exist. Don’t gray rock her, no rock at all her.
Once you start playing the game of stealing other people’s spouses, your life will be on a preselected downward spiral, irregardless of the image you desperately try to project to the world. You cannot be saved from the consequences of your actions.
The drama for the poor kids, unfortunately, will go on and on until they are adults and can hopefully choose to break away from these entitled FWs, who will only EVER care about their needs and wants.
This will only get more pronounced as the years go by. It’s shocking how many people blow up good solid lives to live instead in erratic, unmoored chaos. Exuberant aliveness as Esther would call it. Sociopaths on their missions to destroy lives, that’s who they are.
All four adults in this saga have chosen the course of adultery. Their lives are blowing up now, they achieved what they sought out. The biggest crime is that they breed.

MichelleShocked
MichelleShocked
5 months ago

Amy Robach is a manipulative user. I’m betting she needs to show how “cooperative” she is because she WROTE A BOOK ON BLENDED FAMILIES with her STBX Andrew Shue. Yep, for real. It’s called “Better Together” (oh the irony)… and was published just 2 years ago — in 2021.

So I’m sure she’s thinking “oh crap — no one will buy my Children’s book now. I better be self serving and try to gaslight the world that I didn’t break up a marriage and families… I’m the good guy here. Otherwise, who would buy a book called “Better Together” when I’m the one who left and broke up our “blended family”? lol She’s a 🤡.

I mean, seriously. Looks like Amy and Andrew Shue cheated on their spouses… then married each other right after… and blended their kids together from their previous marriages. And now Amy has no skin in this new mess she created. She and Andrew have no kids together and are just “sharing custody of their dog.”

Amy is inserting herself into TJ and Marilee’s family like she gets to coparent too.

Hey Amy, you’re NOT a coparent. Coparents are just that idiot TJ and his ex wife.

In fact, FW’s AP tried to insert herself into our coparenting… and even the coparenting coordinator I was forced to work with also tried to include her. I took it to the attorneys and they said (both my attorney and FW’s) “AP is NOT a coparent.” I made it clear that if AP tried to be a part of coparenting with us, that I was removing myself entirely and not paying another dime to do any of it. Last I checked, the AP is not a parent… nor does the AP have any rights to my child. I was correct. And the attorneys were left shaking their heads and called AP crazy lol

So fuck off Amy. I hope Marilee goes after Amy with her attorney if she continues this bullshit.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago

Kind of like Bill Cosby’s kids book teaching them to be good people. What a joke.

Mehitable
Mehitable
5 months ago

One of the things that never ceases to amaze me about these situations is how serial cheaters like this Holmes character, who obviously have no respect for the institution of marriage, keep making children with various women. Why bother making these kids? Why not get a vasectomy – he’s already had one batch. Children are not cookies. It’s not like the world needs Holmes to repopulate.

susie lee
susie lee
5 months ago
Reply to  Mehitable

This is what gets me about so many men, why keep reproducing. Especially if you already have kids, get it clipped and fuck to your hearts content with any slug that will have you.

I am not talking about chump men who may want to have more children, man whores know who they are, why add kids to the situation. Kids are expensive and require a lot of time.

shivonn8
shivonn8
5 months ago

I’m so discouraged by all of the comments I see on articles posted these last couple of days about these two! 99% of the comments are just in love with this new couple and wish them well. I want to BARF!!! Obviously they’ve never “found out” they were cheated on. It’s the most brutal pain I’ve ever been through. At least we have this space….