Dear Chump Lady, I just walked away from a 17-year marriage. He admitted to his second one-night stand in our marriage. I’m not chumpy enough to think there wasn’t more. He thinks because “It was just one night. A whole year ago!” and “It’s been 10 years since he last slipped up” that he somehow […]
What Did You Think You Couldn’t Do That You CAN Do?
In yesterday’s post, Lola Granola discussed the belief that so many women have about their own financial incompetence and ability to provide for themselves. Economic vulnerability is a real stick-with-the-jerk force, I get it. But I’ve also read here time and time again, that when you leave a cheater, you figure it out. You gain […]
Tell Me How You’re Mighty, Pandemic Edition Whatever Day This Is
As I was considering a Friday Challenge today I thought, geez, isn’t life challenging enough right now? Rather than invite a recitation of cheater fuckwittery (although that has its charms), I thought, let’s look forward. I want to hear about all your badass resiliency. Oh shut up, Tracy. I’ve been doing trigonometry in a shoebox […]
Leave a Cheater, Gain a Harley
Happy Tuesday! (The day the pain stops, for you CN newbies.) I’m sharing this inspiring tale of Mightiness today with permission from Tyra, a chump badass, who posted it on Facebook. — Tracy So… Hi everyone I am Tyra. I am 2 years post D-day and 6 months post divorce finalization. In the 30 days […]
A ‘Fix Your Picker’ Refresher
Is this not your first time at the chump rodeo? Are you afraid you’ll wind up shackled to another person of dubious character? While I’ve got no guarantees that your life won’t intersect with another wingnut, I do have some tips on how to mitigate the damage, choose better and move on. You control that. […]
Mighty MacKenzie
Talk about Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. Congrats to MacKenzie Scott this week on her marriage to science teacher Dan Jewett. A solid guy, by all accounts, who thrills to teaching high school chemistry and supporting good causes. As compared to MacKenzie’s ex-husband, Jeff Bezos, the wealthiest man in the world, founder of Amazon. […]
Chumped But Not Down, What You Did Right
So yesterday we opened the floor to 5 Things You Should Not Do When You Discover Cheating but for today’s Friday Challenge let’s focus on all the things you did right. No one gets a decoder ring at D-Day. Surviving chumpdom is not a skill set you ever imagine you’d need. I like this comment FriYayChump […]
What Does Freedom Feels Like?
We talk a lot here about getting to the “other side” — so today’s Friday Challenge goes out to anyone who has left a cheater, to describe the moment of freedom. How did you leave and how did it feel? Did you collapse in a heap? Raise a glass with friends? Shoot off fireworks? It […]
Is Pain a Choice?
Dear Chump Lady As I try to heal in the most graceful way (suppressing my revenge fantasies) this is what I am struggling with… Like many of you, I buy self-help books, read blogs, watch videos. One of the major shifts for me has been on a spiritual level (not religious — more like healing […]
‘Replaced’ and Still Feels Empty
Dear Chump Lady, I was married for almost 30 years, have one now grown daughter, and I’m in my 60s. I managed to survive serial cheating and lots of other abuse. My daughter and I were immediately replaced with a new younger OW and a younger OD (other daughter) and other dog! I got back […]
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