Dear Chump Lady, Shortly after New Year’s I accidentally found an email in our computer I couldn’t believe at first sight. The 31-year-old woman whom I had lived together with for 8 years, the woman I married 1 year and a half before that D-day, was cheating on me with another married man. He’s 10 […]
Your Triumph Moments
I think one of the defining experiences of chumpdom is being underestimated. Some of this can attributed to having a lousy partner who devalues you, but some of this we do to ourselves with self-defeating internal monologues that get their first. My favorite part of this blog is reading all the triumphant moments when chumps […]
The Walls in Your House Will Sing
This is the true story story of my aunt, who, when I was chumped, drove all the way from New York to pack up his crap and be there for me. I never knew her chump story until I started this blog and she shared it with me. She wrote it out to help others and I’m […]
Tell Me How You’re COVID-Era Mighty
So today’s Friday Challenge is an mightiness update for the current hellscape we find ourselves living in — global pandemic, murder hornets, bad hair — and tell CN how you’re coping. To the people who are teaching themselves Cantonese and macrame-ing wallhangings with fibers they harvested from their own free-range sheep — I salute you, […]
I Thought That Meh Was a Unicorn
Hi Chump Lady, I wrote to you about 10 months ago and you published it. It was The OW has abs of steel. I just wanted to write to you and tell you that I truly believed I’d never get over him. He took me for the biggest metaphorical spin on the dance floor. I […]
When This Crisis Is Over, I’m Gonna…
As I like to say around here a lot — “the pain is finite.” The problem with most pain is, however, that you don’t know its duration when you’re smack in the middle of it. It feels endless. Will normal ever be normal again? Yes, I’m awkwardly segueing to the coronavirus. How is everyone holding […]
New Beginning Tuesday
Hi Chump Lady! On this day, seven years ago, my divorce became final. After the judge proclaimed it officially done, I sat in my car in the courthouse parking lot and wailed as if my soul were being ripped from my body. A 25 year marriage legally erased. On the other side of a vast […]
Omens and Portents
Happy Friday the 13th! The number 13 is auspicious in our household. In fact, Mr. CL — pictured here — is batty about it. He believes in life’s weird duality, that bad luck can be good luck. That calamity is often the catalyst to better days. (Of course, some things just suck with zero upside. […]
How Did You Overcome the Financial Blows AND the Cheating?
Dear Chump Lady, I found your site in 2017. I was pregnant with my fourth child. My husband and I had been together for 12 years, since we were 18 years old. The beginning of our relationship was rocky and I ignored some red flags but I try to be gentle with myself as I […]
Is Being Alone Worse Than Being with a Cheater?
Dear Chump Lady, Is being alone worse than being with a cheater, if by alone you mean something like “alone for at least the next 20 years”? Part of me thinks that despite my (wayward) partner’s flaws, the alternative is not to be with anyone at all. Not all of us are blessed enough to […]
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