ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life

Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker

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Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, have 2 kids, with our 9th anniversary coming up at the end of this month. Prior to marriage, she had dated only one other guy, I dated several others and […]

The Pick Me Dance for Fun and Profit

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After the last couple batshit crazy OW texts I’ve put through the Universal Bullshit Translator, I was thinking to myself — why? Why do Other Women (and to my knowledge, it’s just women) indulge in these whackadoodle taunts? Moreover, why do they write those insipid columns on HuffPo or YourTango mooning on about their affairs? It’s one […]

Dear Chump Lady, I’m obsessed with the OW

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Dear Chump Lady, I know you’ve heard this saga for years. I just read a similar letter from a woman who was angry and jealous at the happiness of her ex and the other woman and the response from you. My situation differs in that my cheating husband did come home, he has changed his […]

“Closure,” Don’t Do It.

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“Closure” is just another word for hopium. Put down the crack pipe, chumps. Don’t confuse closure with acceptance. We’re all about the meh here. Acceptance — learning what you control and what you do not — is peaceful and hard won. I’m talking about that insane stage chumps go through where they try to speak […]

The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse

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Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful asshole who shared “sex addiction camp” with the stars… I got some news today that rekindled a WOW moment provided by your amazing insights in my early days of chumpdom. […]

When You Perform the Pick Me Dance Wrong

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I’ve concluded that Other Women enjoy the pick me dance — but only when the chump is clueless that she’s performing it. Sorry to go all gender-and-orientation-specific on you, but in six years of running this blog, I have never, ever seen an Other Man troll this site, write to me for sympathy, or gloat to […]

“What do I tell my crying children?”

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Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump and finally plucked up the courage to ask for help. I don’t know what to say to my two children when they are crying because they feel that their family […]

Dear Chump Lady, Do cheaters blameshift?

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Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if this is a common saying that chumps hear on D-day. Upon discovering my husband’ s texts to another person, he quickly said, “I’m done!” I answered with, “You’re done? I’m the one that’s done!” Here’s the kicker — he then says, “You’re doing exactly what she wants you […]

What You Thought It Was… What It Really Was

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In the early days after D-Day, caught up in the Pick Me Dance, chumps have a tendency to romanticize cheaters’ affairs and the affair partners. Part of that is on the cheater, goading the chump to greater feats of humiliation to prove their worth. Have I mentioned Pamela’s firm bottom? It’s so much better than […]