Dear Chump Lady, Tonight is a hard night for some reason. It has been 11 months since D-Day. And since then stories of other affairs and how long I have been a chump has been trickling in. I finally said I can’t take anymore information and stopped all the asking of how many and how […]
Dear Chump Lady, He puts the OW phone to say ‘goodnight’ to our child
Dear Chump Lady, I kicked my husband out two weeks ago after discovering his affair with a woman 20 years older than me. He’s now moved in with her, and within a week they had a bedroom set up for my son and are planning on keeping him several nights each week. My STBX has […]
Dear Chump Lady, My wife kissed a coworker
Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were good friends for 5 years, dated for almost another 5 and have been married for 8 years, have 2 kids, with our 9th anniversary coming up at the end of this month. Prior to marriage, she had dated only one other guy, I dated several others and […]
The Pick Me Dance for Fun and Profit
After the last couple batshit crazy OW texts I’ve put through the Universal Bullshit Translator, I was thinking to myself — why? Why do Other Women (and to my knowledge, it’s just women) indulge in these whackadoodle taunts? Moreover, why do they write those insipid columns on HuffPo or YourTango mooning on about their affairs? It’s one […]
Dear Chump Lady, I’m obsessed with the OW
Dear Chump Lady, I know you’ve heard this saga for years. I just read a similar letter from a woman who was angry and jealous at the happiness of her ex and the other woman and the response from you. My situation differs in that my cheating husband did come home, he has changed his […]
“Closure,” Don’t Do It.
“Closure” is just another word for hopium. Put down the crack pipe, chumps. Don’t confuse closure with acceptance. We’re all about the meh here. Acceptance — learning what you control and what you do not — is peaceful and hard won. I’m talking about that insane stage chumps go through where they try to speak […]
The Case of the Dangling Former Spouse
Dear Chump Lady, I am nearly at meh, three years from D-Day and two from my divorce from a world class Cluster B, alcoholic, successful asshole who shared “sex addiction camp” with the stars… I got some news today that rekindled a WOW moment provided by your amazing insights in my early days of chumpdom. […]
When You Perform the Pick Me Dance Wrong
I’ve concluded that Other Women enjoy the pick me dance — but only when the chump is clueless that she’s performing it. Sorry to go all gender-and-orientation-specific on you, but in six years of running this blog, I have never, ever seen an Other Man troll this site, write to me for sympathy, or gloat to […]
“What do I tell my crying children?”
Dear Chump Lady I have been reading your site for weeks now after discovering (after several years of suspicion) that I am an enormous chump and finally plucked up the courage to ask for help. I don’t know what to say to my two children when they are crying because they feel that their family […]
Dear Chump Lady, Do cheaters blameshift?
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if this is a common saying that chumps hear on D-day. Upon discovering my husband’ s texts to another person, he quickly said, “I’m done!” I answered with, “You’re done? I’m the one that’s done!” Here’s the kicker — he then says, “You’re doing exactly what she wants you […]
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