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He Walked Out for OW But Doesn’t Want a Divorce

January 11, 2021 by Chump Lady

cake

Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Divorce, Pick me dance Tagged With: cake eating, divorce, dragging out divorce 120 Comments

When You Discover Your Boyfriend Has a Married Girlfriend

December 21, 2020 by Chump Lady

cheater overlap

Dear Chump Lady, Last week, I left my boyfriend of 11 months. I recently discovered that before meeting with me, he had been in a relationship with a woman who had two kids and a husband for a year and a half. He lied about her for 11 months (the entire length of our relationship, […]

Filed Under: Hopium, No contact, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Hoovering, No Contact, Pick Me Dance

She ‘Can’t Decide’ Between Us

December 9, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, We’ve been married since 2012. Bought new home in 2014. In 2015 she acted so so happy. Turns out she was screwing a guy in Motel 6. She told me they just needed a private place to talk. Until this guy. Five years older than my son (I’m 49. My son’s 26). […]

Filed Under: Pick me dance Tagged With: How to leave a cheater, Pick Me Dance

Ex-Wife Wants Old VHS Tapes for Christmas

November 24, 2020 by Chump Lady

A bag of narcissist ego chow

Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 4 years now after going through an ugly divorce complete with 2 years of doing the pick me dance. We were together for 25 years with the last few years legally married (same sex marriage). My ex was having an affair and ultimately ended up moving in […]

Filed Under: Children and infidelity, Ego kibbles, No contact, Pick me dance Tagged With: Cake, No Contact, Triangulation

He Wants to ‘Explore His Feelings’ with Her Friend

November 18, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, My story as chump began last December when I received a letter from my husband informing me that he had developed feelings for a close family friend and that they wanted to explore these feelings but only with my consent. He wouldn’t, of course, want to harm our family or me! Now […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Pick me dance Tagged With: Boundaries, Cake

What Made Her Special?

November 17, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Eleven months ago, I found out that my husband of 20 years and two children had been having an affair with a co-worker for the past two and a half years. During the time of their affair he moved our family to the same town where she lives so he would have […]

Filed Under: Other Women, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Trust That They Suck

What Is the First Step?

November 4, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, What would you do? My husband is very friendly with this woman at work. He talks about her which is why I looked in his phone and saw a series of texts of her needing “to vent” he’s all supportive and understanding… which triggers me. Then a little later he’s telling me […]

Filed Under: Limbo, Pick me dance Tagged With: Limbo, Pick Me Dance, Trapped

The ‘If You Aren’t Nicer’ Threat

October 8, 2020 by Chump Lady

People still submit one-liners of Stupid Shit Cheaters Say to me. Got this one yesterday: “If you aren’t nicer to me, I’m going to cheat on you.” Let’s decode it, shall we? It’s only sentence, but therein lies so much crap. “If you aren’t nicer to me…” Implies what he does or does not do […]

Filed Under: Blameshifting, Cheater Tactics, Pick me dance Tagged With: Infidelity abuse, Threats

Wife Wants to ‘Renegotiate’ the Relationship

October 5, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, Without going into too much detail with our past, my wife and I are at a bit of a crossroads with our marriage. Long story short, there has been a history of insecurity and trust issues on my part due to various instances of her emotional cheating, sending inappropriate photos and messages […]

Filed Under: Narcissism, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Narcissist

UBT: ‘He Played Me Too’

September 14, 2020 by Chump Lady

You guys won’t believe the letters I get from Other Women wanting my advice. I know, it’s like gnats wanting wisdom from a bug zapper. But really, it happens. Behold a recent missive: Dear Chump Lady, I’m the other woman. Well, actually I refused to be the other woman. We fell in love, he said […]

Filed Under: Other Women, Pick me dance, universal bullshit translator Tagged With: Other Woman, Universal Bullshit Translator

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