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He Says He ‘Never Went Looking for It’

March 29, 2021 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, I can’t believe I am writing this but I really need some help. 5 weeks ago I discovered my husband was having an emotional affair with a colleague. No sex. But intimate kissing and real emotional connection. They have both said they love each other. She tried to break it off and […]

Filed Under: Early days after discovery, Limbo, Pick me dance, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: cake eating, Trust That They Suck

Jealousy and ‘Just Friends’

March 17, 2021 by Chump Lady

Mindfuck blender

Dear Chump Lady, My wife and I were having issues. It got incredibly bad. I found evidence of something going on. I got suspicious when she suddenly was wearing kits of makeup and sexy underwear, I didn’t get to see. So I accused her of cheating when I saw a message. She admitted having feelings […]

Filed Under: Emotional affair, Gaslighting, Pick me dance Tagged With: Blameshifting, Gaslighting, Jealousy, Marriage Police

Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?

February 24, 2021 by Chump Lady

wayward

Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]

Filed Under: Abandonment, Anger, Deception, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck, Untangling the skein of fuckupedness Tagged With: Depression, double betrayal, Mindfuck channels, Pick Me Dance

Is He Going to Regret Choosing Her?

February 23, 2021 by Chump Lady

Ooh, pick me!

Dear Chump Lady, Once I found out my boyfriend cheated on me, I desperately searched for answers and came across your book. I tried to hang in there, but here I am 4 months later moving my stuff out. He has treated me terribly our entire relationship, between talking to other women, the lies, cheating, […]

Filed Under: Ego kibbles, Pick me dance Tagged With: Pick Me Dance

Jealous of the Other Woman

February 2, 2021 by Chump Lady

luggage

Dear Chump Lady, I am sure that my story is the same one that you have heard a hundred times, I have read versions of it on your site and others… married 9 years, together 18, one small daughter and poof! He is gone. Like emotionally gone. Except that he did not physically leave. My […]

Filed Under: Divorce, Ego kibbles, Pick me dance Tagged With: Jealous of OW, Trust That They Suck

Help Her Be Friendly to Me

January 28, 2021 by Chump Lady

bad friend

Dear Chump Lady, My ex-wife and I were married over twenty years and have been divorced over ten. I was a serial cheater throughout our marriage. We have gotten back together several times after the divorce. After our most recent break up, she is requiring me to find out what it takes for us to […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Pick me dance Tagged With: Friends with your ex

He Walked Out for OW But Doesn’t Want a Divorce

January 11, 2021 by Chump Lady

cake

Dear Chump Lady, My story begins four years ago. My narcissist had an emotional affair with a much younger (30 years..) girl at the local amateur dramatic group. Initially, they were just ‘drawn to one another’ after acting together in a play. He started flossing, shaving, taking his phone to the bathroom and changing his […]

Filed Under: Cake Eating, Divorce, Pick me dance Tagged With: cake eating, divorce, dragging out divorce

When You Discover Your Boyfriend Has a Married Girlfriend

December 21, 2020 by Chump Lady

cheater overlap

Dear Chump Lady, Last week, I left my boyfriend of 11 months. I recently discovered that before meeting with me, he had been in a relationship with a woman who had two kids and a husband for a year and a half. He lied about her for 11 months (the entire length of our relationship, […]

Filed Under: Hopium, No contact, Pick me dance, Trust that they suck Tagged With: Hoovering, No Contact, Pick Me Dance

She ‘Can’t Decide’ Between Us

December 9, 2020 by Chump Lady

Dear Chump Lady, We’ve been married since 2012. Bought new home in 2014. In 2015 she acted so so happy. Turns out she was screwing a guy in Motel 6. She told me they just needed a private place to talk. Until this guy. Five years older than my son (I’m 49. My son’s 26). […]

Filed Under: Pick me dance Tagged With: How to leave a cheater, Pick Me Dance

Ex-Wife Wants Old VHS Tapes for Christmas

November 24, 2020 by Chump Lady

A bag of narcissist ego chow

Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for 4 years now after going through an ugly divorce complete with 2 years of doing the pick me dance. We were together for 25 years with the last few years legally married (same sex marriage). My ex was having an affair and ultimately ended up moving in […]

Filed Under: Children and infidelity, Ego kibbles, No contact, Pick me dance Tagged With: Cake, No Contact, Triangulation

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