Hi Chump Lady! As a diagnosed “Perfectionist”, I have been traumatized over and over by the Reconciliation Industrial Complex gospel so awfully prevalent in society. Such a relief to find your site… I feel like I’m remembering who I am when I read you. Thank you. I knew there was something “off”, decided I was […]
“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]
Dear Chump Lady, I wish I would’ve pressed charges
Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for several years. I found out during my marriage that my husband was a voyeur (taking secret video tapes of unsuspecting people without their consent in showers, bathrooms, etc). During this time I also found out he was having affairs, hooking up with random strangers on Craiglist, and […]
Dear Chump Lady, He loves me, he’s worried about me… he left?
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t know why I feel so compelled to write a complete stranger at 3 a.m. about this. I pretty much know the answer to my problem, but am having trouble facing the demise of my marriage. My husband of 6 years (together 12) recently came clean out of the blue that […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband died. Then I discovered his double life.
Dear Chump Lady, My husband died unexpectedly about a month ago. I was devastated and my world fell apart completely. I thought he adored me. He demonstrated it to me with big acts and through little gestures; from thoughtful little efforts towards me to lovely dates and long evenings in each other’s company chatting over […]
Dear Chump Lady, I didn’t just discover cheating — he’s a criminal too
Dear Chump Lady, Any advice (beyond the obvious lawyering up) about the following scenario (which maybe isn’t all that uncommon, judging from my attorney’s reaction): My big D-day wasn’t when I discovered the latest infidelity, (there have been several of those over the years, which caused heartache but not surprise — he cheated when we […]
An Interview with Jen Waite, Author of “A Beautiful, Terrible Thing”
Jen Waite lived a nightmare we here at Chump Nation can all relate to — one terrible day she discovered her spouse had a double life. Her husband was not the person he represented himself to be. He was a fraud, a liar, a con. Jen’s world fell apart. She was a new mother at […]
UBT: There Is No Right or Wrong in the World
Dear Chump Lady, I am well on my way to meh after divorcing and dealing with texbook cheater speak for the last 5 years. The other day though, cheater spoke to our teens telling them out front that there is no right or wrong in the world. It’s just their perceptions. Now, most of what […]
Dear Chump Lady, He’s in the closet. How do I tell his wife?
Dear Chump Lady, A few months ago, I met a guy at a bar. We hit it off, and I invited him back to my place. I asked him if he was single; he said he was. He also said he was closeted. We started hooking up regularly. Then, a week ago, I happened to […]
The “I Fail to Understand Your Hostility” Mindfuck
There is no mindfuck like the I Fail to Understand Your Hostility mindfuck. As mindfucks go, it’s Jedi-level mindfuckery. Oh sure your lesser manipulator can sputter some pathetic lies, or shrug and play dumb. The IFTUYH mindfucker, however, is one cool customer. Zero adaptive anxiety. Your inchoate rage just bounces off their wall of smug. This crazy […]
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