Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) I was thrilled about the prospect of having a loving and honest relationship. However, after we married, I started to see a side of him that alarmed me. Angry outbursts, […]
The Dead-Eyed Stare
So what about those dead-eyed stares, huh? It’s been discussed here, that void-nothing-state some of these freaks get when confronted. What is that look? Condescension? Vacancy? Amusement? Are the manipulation wheels spinning so fast, the facial expressions are set in neutral? What’s going on in there? I remember unearthing some ghastly nugget of truth and confronting […]
Alan Dershowitz Is Human Garbage
I am completely obsessed with the Jeffrey Epstein story. And why wouldn’t I be? It’s the most operatic of Chump Lady topics — grotesque sexual entitlement and what happens when Bad Men let their dicks wander. The Epstein saga is also the story of one woman’s mightiness — Miami Herald investigative reporter Julie K. Brown […]
Dear Chump Lady, The lies are crazy
Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out from D-day and 12 months from divorce. Your blog had helped keep my sanity in check and I do reasonably well with no contact. However this past weekend, I had a new experience happen. I received a call from one of ex-husband’s ex-girlfriends (she didn’t know she […]
Get the F*ck Out Now
Hi Chump Lady! As a diagnosed “Perfectionist”, I have been traumatized over and over by the Reconciliation Industrial Complex gospel so awfully prevalent in society. Such a relief to find your site… I feel like I’m remembering who I am when I read you. Thank you. I knew there was something “off”, decided I was […]
“Why do cheaters need to punish the chump?”
Dear Chump Lady, I’ve been separated about 8 months from my STBX cheater. We were married for 7 years when he began having an affair with his ho-worker. I went through the hell of false reconciliation several times and I finally said enough was enough, because I just couldn’t buy his bullshit anymore, and I […]
Dear Chump Lady, I wish I would’ve pressed charges
Dear Chump Lady, I have been divorced for several years. I found out during my marriage that my husband was a voyeur (taking secret video tapes of unsuspecting people without their consent in showers, bathrooms, etc). During this time I also found out he was having affairs, hooking up with random strangers on Craiglist, and […]
Dear Chump Lady, He loves me, he’s worried about me… he left?
Dear Chump Lady, I don’t know why I feel so compelled to write a complete stranger at 3 a.m. about this. I pretty much know the answer to my problem, but am having trouble facing the demise of my marriage. My husband of 6 years (together 12) recently came clean out of the blue that […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband died. Then I discovered his double life.
Dear Chump Lady, My husband died unexpectedly about a month ago. I was devastated and my world fell apart completely. I thought he adored me. He demonstrated it to me with big acts and through little gestures; from thoughtful little efforts towards me to lovely dates and long evenings in each other’s company chatting over […]
Dear Chump Lady, I didn’t just discover cheating — he’s a criminal too
Dear Chump Lady, Any advice (beyond the obvious lawyering up) about the following scenario (which maybe isn’t all that uncommon, judging from my attorney’s reaction): My big D-day wasn’t when I discovered the latest infidelity, (there have been several of those over the years, which caused heartache but not surprise — he cheated when we […]
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