Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out from D-day and 12 months from divorce. Your blog had helped keep my sanity in check and I do reasonably well with no contact. However this past weekend, I had a new experience happen. I received a call from one of ex-husband’s ex-girlfriends (she didn’t know she […]
Dear Chump Lady, He says he cheated to protect me
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX got caught over 3 years ago in an affair. The truth came out that he had cheated with about 25 different people during the six years we had been married at that point. We tried reconciliation and for 3 years he did good. And then he cheated again with a […]
Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth
Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently occurred to me that “trickle truth” is equally moronic… or Orwellian. (Moronically Orwellian? Deviously Orwellian? Anyway…) “Trickle truth” is like “truthiness,” the term comedian Stephen Colbert coined for the rebranding of […]
Your Time on the Marriage Police Force
If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” spent trying to hack into email accounts, cell phone SIM cards, velcro-ing voice activated recorders under carseats… Just how far did you go? (Anyone have a shoe phone?) This column […]
Situational Truth
Stephen Colbert coined the awesome word “truthiness” — when referring to politicians who spin their own versions of reality. They seem so sure of themselves, who cares if it’s not the truth? It’s truthy! Similarly, the food writer Michael Pollan in his book “In Defense of Food” distinguishes between actual food (things “your great-grandmother would […]
Biggest lie you bought?
Yesterday’s post had a pretty great whopper — the cheater who refused to wear his wedding ring out of consideration for his wife, because a wedding ring is a “signal” to predatory women, desperate to have affairs with him. Which makes me wonder how this studmuffin imagines himself — batting women off like fish flies? […]
Dear Chump Lady, What if there was no sex?
Hi Chump Lady, What would you do if your husband did the following behaviors in an 11 year marriage (two early elementary kids)? He says this is all that ever happened. 1). Went to the strippers about 15 times since the year we had our kids). 2). Had 4 lap dances where strippers put breasts […]
“I’ve changed!” — The Chump Response
I reckon I’ve read tens of thousands of infidelity stories to date. Maybe hundreds of thousands. (I should crunch the numbers.) And one common recitation I read time and again after D-Day, is when cheaters, threatened with the loss of cake, don unicorn costumes and tell chumps that they’ve changed. “I’m a new man!” “Let’s make […]
Dear Josh
Dear Josh of Somewhere in the Mid-Atlantic, You don’t know me. I run an infidelity blog. I happened to have dinner the other evening seated next to your cheating wife. She was with this really douchey guy about 15 years older than she is (late 40s, early 50s). The kind of guy who flips his […]
Dear Chump Lady, Why won’t he admit cheating?
Dear Chump Lady, What do you do when they will NEVER admit to the truth? Even after you have hired a Private Investigator who traced him to two different hotel rooms in one week with the affair partner? He claims she slept on the couch. Sure, because that’s what adults who have been having inappropriate […]
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