Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) I was thrilled about the prospect of having a loving and honest relationship. However, after we married, I started to see a side of him that alarmed me. Angry outbursts, […]
Gaslighting — Who’s The Crazy One Here?
Dear Chump Lady, Can we talk about the horrible act and effects of gaslighting by cheaters and how they try to make you think you’re crazy? My ex started fights with me deliberately all the time during the last year of our marriage and I didn’t realize what was going on until we were well […]
DNA Testing Surprises
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if you cold address a topic on your site. I know you use humour a lot, and while this topic isn’t funny, I was hoping you could discuss it. I was adopted, and in the process of looking for my biological parents, I joined a couple of online support […]
Surely You Must Have Known
Are your powers of premonition pretty lousy? Me too. I have no idea who is going to win the election or what the stock market is going to do next quarter. But when it comes to infidelity, you would’ve thought that everyone is clairvoyant and that particular super power skipped you. Because after you discover your […]
Dear Chump Lady, The lies are crazy
Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out from D-day and 12 months from divorce. Your blog had helped keep my sanity in check and I do reasonably well with no contact. However this past weekend, I had a new experience happen. I received a call from one of ex-husband’s ex-girlfriends (she didn’t know she […]
Dear Chump Lady, He says he cheated to protect me
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX got caught over 3 years ago in an affair. The truth came out that he had cheated with about 25 different people during the six years we had been married at that point. We tried reconciliation and for 3 years he did good. And then he cheated again with a […]
Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth
Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently occurred to me that “trickle truth” is equally moronic… or Orwellian. (Moronically Orwellian? Deviously Orwellian? Anyway…) “Trickle truth” is like “truthiness,” the term comedian Stephen Colbert coined for the rebranding of […]
Your Time on the Marriage Police Force
If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” spent trying to hack into email accounts, cell phone SIM cards, velcro-ing voice activated recorders under carseats… Just how far did you go? (Anyone have a shoe phone?) This column […]
Situational Truth
Stephen Colbert coined the awesome word “truthiness” — when referring to politicians who spin their own versions of reality. They seem so sure of themselves, who cares if it’s not the truth? It’s truthy! Similarly, the food writer Michael Pollan in his book “In Defense of Food” distinguishes between actual food (things “your great-grandmother would […]
Biggest lie you bought?
Yesterday’s post had a pretty great whopper — the cheater who refused to wear his wedding ring out of consideration for his wife, because a wedding ring is a “signal” to predatory women, desperate to have affairs with him. Which makes me wonder how this studmuffin imagines himself — batting women off like fish flies? […]
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