ChumpLady.com

Leave a cheater, gain a life!

A False Confession?

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Dear Chump Lady, The other night when I was questioning my husband for the umpteenth time since D-Day, he said his counselor advised him not to falsely confess to having sex with someone to make me “feel better.” He said he would not let me pressure him into a false confession. Is this even a […]

I Just Want Her to Be Truthful

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Dear Chump Lady, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two years. I had suspicion that she was seeing someone else after she came home drunk one day at 8 in the morning and I kicked her out of my apartment. Her iPhone was connected to her iPad, and she had left it here, […]

His Double Life Was Revealed After Death

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Dear Chump Lady, My husband was 55 years old, no known health conditions, he was taking no medication. Last August he was hospitalized and operated on. He had several strokes on the operating table and we removed the ventilator 7 days later. We had been married not quite 6 years; this was a second marriage […]

Is ‘Bum-Bum’ a Friend?

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Hi Chump Lady. I just need some decent advice. I have been with my partner for 20 years next month! We have four gorgeous children. Back in 2019 I caught him snap chatting with a women he works with, flirting and calling each other nicknames like “Bum-Bum” and “Muscle Bum.” We got through it and […]

Standing on Lies

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Thank you Dr. Anna Fels! I urge every chump to read the opinion piece in the New York Times “Great Betrayals” by Dr. Fels. It’s the rare article on infidelity that recognizes the traumatic injury of deception — especially the sort we encounter here at Chump Lady — making sense of the double life. Fels […]

Did He Cheat Because He’s Depressed?

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Dear Chump Lady, Please help me sort through this mess. Help me get angry! My husband and I were together for 6 years and married for 6 months when he fell into a deep depression and left me to stay with a friend in November. During this time (over an 11-week time span) he pushed […]

Does Social Media Encourage Cheating?

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Dear Chump Lady, First and foremost, thank you for writing Leave A Cheater, Gain a Life! It was immensely helpful, but I still can’t seem to shake the pain of what I’ve recently gone through. Although my ex and I were never married, I am a Chump who recently got dumped! Looking back, I feel […]

UBT: I Can’t Remember

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Probably no other statement gets sent to the Universal Bullshit Translator more than “I can’t remember.” What is it about cheating that fogs the mind? (Did all that boinking lead to traumatic brain injury?) Here are some possible UBTs and manipulations around “I can’t remember.” I can’t remember. I totally remember, but I’ll be goddamned […]

The Mindfuckery of Reverse Victim Offender

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There must be a bazillion “How To Tell If He/She’s Cheating” articles on the interwebs. You know, the usual — new cologne, sudden penchant for 9-hour Pilates classes, weird showering habits, furtive texting, requires cavity search to reveal cell phone… But here’s the real clue you’re dealing with a cheater, and it’s not lipstick on […]