Another primer in mindfuckery today, and that is exhaustion as manipulation tactic. If you’re a cheater and you want your chump to back off? Keep ’em running in circles, chasing unicorn (tails) tales. How is this accomplished? With a constant barrage of bullshit, half-truths, outright lies, indignation, and the ol’ I Fail to Understand Your […]
More Stupid Shit Cheaters Say
I know I have a page for this, but why hasn’t Stupid Shit Cheaters Say been a Friday Challenge? The time has come. When I started this place, I naively thought I would catalog the crazy. More naively, I thought I would draw it. I had no idea I would get literally thousands of submissions, […]
Dear Chump Lady, My husband is a marriage counselor with a double life
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX is a marriage counselor, so when I met him (a couple of years after leaving a cheating and abusive husband) I was thrilled about the prospect of having a loving and honest relationship. However, after we married, I started to see a side of him that alarmed me. Angry outbursts, […]
Gaslighting — Who’s The Crazy One Here?
Dear Chump Lady, Can we talk about the horrible act and effects of gaslighting by cheaters and how they try to make you think you’re crazy? My ex started fights with me deliberately all the time during the last year of our marriage and I didn’t realize what was going on until we were well […]
DNA Testing Surprises
Dear Chump Lady, I was wondering if you cold address a topic on your site. I know you use humour a lot, and while this topic isn’t funny, I was hoping you could discuss it. I was adopted, and in the process of looking for my biological parents, I joined a couple of online support […]
Surely You Must Have Known
Are your powers of premonition pretty lousy? Me too. I have no idea who is going to win the election or what the stock market is going to do next quarter. But when it comes to infidelity, you would’ve thought that everyone is clairvoyant and that particular super power skipped you. Because after you discover your […]
Dear Chump Lady, The lies are crazy
Dear Chump Lady, I am 18 months out from D-day and 12 months from divorce. Your blog had helped keep my sanity in check and I do reasonably well with no contact. However this past weekend, I had a new experience happen. I received a call from one of ex-husband’s ex-girlfriends (she didn’t know she […]
Dear Chump Lady, He says he cheated to protect me
Dear Chump Lady, My STBX got caught over 3 years ago in an affair. The truth came out that he had cheated with about 25 different people during the six years we had been married at that point. We tried reconciliation and for 3 years he did good. And then he cheated again with a […]
Trickle Truth Is Neither Trickle Nor Truth
Add to the list of Reconciliation Industrial Complex euphemisms I despise — “trickle truth.” I’ve ranted about “wayward” before and the “fog,” but it only recently occurred to me that “trickle truth” is equally moronic… or Orwellian. (Moronically Orwellian? Deviously Orwellian? Anyway…) “Trickle truth” is like “truthiness,” the term comedian Stephen Colbert coined for the rebranding of […]
Your Time on the Marriage Police Force
If you didn’t leave right after D-Day, you’ve probably spent some time in Chump Police Academy. You know, those dark days of “trust but verify” spent trying to hack into email accounts, cell phone SIM cards, velcro-ing voice activated recorders under carseats… Just how far did you go? (Anyone have a shoe phone?) This column […]
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