Recent Posts

Controlling the Narrative

Dear Chump Lady, My now soon-to-be-ex husband of almost 30 years cheated on me twice — that I know of. The first one and the current one were/are full-blown long-term affairs. I’m heartbroken, but doing my best. I divorced him after the first affair, took him back, and gladly remarried him upon his request. I […]

Your Snooping Sins

It’s one of the more perplexing aspects of the chump condition — the false equivalency of “snooping” with cheating. Did he rate escorts? OMG, you looked at his phone. HOW COULD YOU?! Trust is the social glue that holds us all together. Yet trust is also the way you get played. To be chumped is […]

The Crown, The Cake

Is anyone watching The Crown, the series about the English royal family? The latest season 4 is about the all about the dissolution of Prince Charles and Diana’s marriage. I’m sure it will surprise you to learn that the heir to an actual monarchy has an entitlement problem. Let them eat cake! Invite your mistress […]

He Wants to ‘Explore His Feelings’ with Her Friend

Dear Chump Lady, My story as chump began last December when I received a letter from my husband informing me that he had developed feelings for a close family friend and that they wanted to explore these feelings but only with my consent. He wouldn’t, of course, want to harm our family or me! Now […]

What Made Her Special?

Dear Chump Lady, Eleven months ago, I found out that my husband of 20 years and two children had been having an affair with a co-worker for the past two and a half years. During the time of their affair he moved our family to the same town where she lives so he would have […]

UBT: The Huggy Ex and the OW

Dear Chump Lady, I’ve had minimal contact with my ex until recently, when he started dropping round my house on a Tuesday while the kids are at school, (I’ve had to drop work hours due to COVID), purportedly to ‘catch up’. But he quickly resumed laying on the charm with the aim of seducing me. […]

Tell Me How You’re Mighty, COVID Edition 2.0

We haven’t done another round of Tell Me How You’re Mighty since this pandemic began. And as we’ve soldiered on (and on and on and on…) I want to know how the dragon-slaying is going. The divorces, the first steps, the new haircut, the kind teenager you raised. Whatever you’ve got in the Gain a […]

UBT: “True Love Is Never a Scandal”

Dearest Chump Lady, In July, 2018, my musician husband of 16 years finally confessed to a year-long-plus affair (we know it is likely longer) with a longtime “super fan” of his band. She went to every gig over nearly 10 years, during which time I typically did not, as I was most often either child […]