Category: Cheater Tactics

mask

Dear Chump Lady, Why does he get to look like a Good Person?

Dear Chump Lady, I didn’t think Valentine’s Day would bother me as much as it did. I was married for 18 years, with my husband …

Read More
cake

I Love You, But I’m Not In Love With You

“I love you but I’m not in love with you” (ILYBINILWY) is classic cheater-speak. Chumps misunderstand this statement as a definitive goodbye — “Toodles! I’m leaving …

Read More
mindfuck

The Mindfuck Only Has Three Channels

I have a cousin who is going through a miserable divorce with a cheater. Long marriage, double life, financial abuse. You guys know the drill. I’ve …

Read More

Affair Enablers

Dear Chump Lady, How about a post on enablers, i.e., people who assist cheaters in their pursuit of The Most Magical Romance the Universe Has Ever …

Read More

UBT: Our Marriage Was Already Over

Here’s some one-size-fits-all cheater bullshit for you — “Our marriage was already over.” Cheaters say it to affair partners, “We’re all but divorced!” “We’re separated!” …

Read More

UBT: “I Didn’t Mean To”

Dear Chump Lady, I was married to a very lovely man for 15 years. He was “nice,” yet he needed parenting. That’s where I came …

Read More
mindfuck

The Mindfuck Only Has Three Channels

I have a cousin who is going through a miserable divorce with a cheater. Long marriage, double life, financial abuse. You guys know the drill. I’ve …

Read More

Nice Vs. Kind

There was an interesting side discussion the other day on Chump Lady about the difference between niceness and kindness. Many people noted that their cheaters …

Read More
lies

Character Assassination? Don’t Let the Bastards Grind You Down

A lot of my Chump Lady mail can be divided into two categories, “I got chumped… what are people going to think?” and “I got chumped… …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, He doesn’t feel sorry, he just feels bad. WTF?

Dear Chump Lady, I just had a conversation with my cheating husband. He now admits to at least a part of what he did, although …

Read More

Red Flags You Were With a Cheater?

Recently HuffPo asked me to contribute to a piece they wrote on Cheating Red Flags You Missed. (I’m Tracy S.) My example was dreadful time …

Read More

The “Plan B” Offer

If things don’t work out with her, perhaps you and I could work things out. This was in my “Universal Bullshit Translator” requests this morning. …

Read More

Don’t Judge Me

In yesterday’s comments the subject of “judgement” came up and a chump asked if I would write a column on, you know, the phenomenon of calling …

Read More

When Cheaters Do Therapy… Some Precautions

Chumps, hopeful creatures that we are, are often so encouraged when their cheaters do therapy. It doesn’t matter if we had to beg, plead, consult their …

Read More

But I Always Come Back to You

If you ever had any doubts that cheating was about unbridled narcissism, look to the Boomerang Cheaters. They screw around but then assure you, hey, it’s okay — …

Read More

Dear Chump Lady, What do you think of spontaneous “confessions”?

Dear Chump Lady Reading a recent Dear Chump Lady brought an old question to mind. In your article on 11/8, Thomas’s wife suddenly fessed up …

Read More

The Mindfuck Channel Only Has Three Stations

I have a cousin who is going through a miserable divorce with a cheater. Long marriage, double life, financial abuse. You guys know the drill. I’ve …

Read More

Cheater Word Salad

Chump Lady used to be a think tank editor in her younger days. Think tanks are those marble buildings on K St. in Washington, D.C. …

Read More

Cheaters Are Timid Forest Creatures

After you’ve been cheated on, you’d think it’s a pretty simple decision tree — reconcile or divorce. Choose divorce, it doesn’t matter if your cheater …

Read More

If You Thought I Was That Sort of Person, You Shouldn’t Be With Me

Did anyone see the interesting story in the New York Times the other day about the fake Buddhist monks in Times Square? Apparently, there are …

Read More
>